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Thread: Lexophile jokes (plays on words)
04-18-2008, 08:40 PM #1
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Lexophile jokes (plays on words)
~ What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
~ Time flies like an arrow -- Fruit flies like a banana.
~ A backward poet writes inverse.
~ In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
~ If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
~ With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
~ Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
~ When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
~ The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
~ A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blown apart.
~ You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
~ He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
~ A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
~ A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
~ He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
~ The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
~ Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
~ When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
~ Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
~ Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
~ Acupuncture is a jab well done.
~ Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
~ An optometrist fell into a grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.A bicycle can't stand alone; it's 2 tired.
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