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Thread: Lexophile jokes (plays on words)

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    Lexophile jokes (plays on words)

    ~ What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)

    ~ Time flies like an arrow -- Fruit flies like a banana.

    ~ A backward poet writes inverse.

    ~ In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

    ~ If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

    ~ With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

    ~ Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

    ~ When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

    ~ The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

    ~ A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blown apart.

    ~ You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

    ~ He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

    ~ A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

    ~ A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

    ~ He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

    ~ The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

    ~ Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

    ~ When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

    ~ Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

    ~ Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

    ~ Acupuncture is a jab well done.

    ~ Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

    ~ An optometrist fell into a grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.
    A bicycle can't stand alone; it's 2 tired.

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