Trachyotomy

[Slot Machine]

A trip report without pictures is hardly a report at all. The day Mark and I challenged Trachyotomy, preserving life and limb took priority over everything else. Instead of providing the usual visual evidence, I’ll weave you a tale that might satisfy your appetite.

_____________ Trachyotomy _____________

It is strange how some canyons have such a consistent personality. I always expect the next obstacle to be much harder, or much easier, than the previous one. Shenanigans is so very deep and exquisitely sculpted, but on a small human scale we each fight a similar battle the entire way through. Yes, the final narrows stand out slightly, but they aren’t much more dangerous, aren’t that different really, than the rest of the canyon. If we all weighed 120lbs, nobody would even notice the difference.

Trachyotomy fits into this magical mold of varied, yet consistently difficult obstacles. Sandstone features that whittle you down, with a final narrow section that tries to finish you off. In my case, literally.

On November 12, 2013, Mark and I completed Angel Slot in the morning then quickly drove to our afternoon adventure. We departed the Trachyotomy trailhead at 12:24. The time sticks in my memory because many epics start with the line, “We got a late start…”. I knew the canyon would be difficult, and we were acutely aware of the razor-thin margin for error. We only had five hours of remaining daylight, which is considered a fast lap through the canyon.

Mark is an ultra-outdoorsman. He is a great climber, an experienced mountaineer, an experienced canyoneer, and one of the fittest people I have ever met. When hiking he doesn’t seem to notice that he is wearing a pack. At 6’2”, everything is seemingly within his reach. My thirst for adventure is no match for his athleticism; and this became apparent early in the canyon.

After descending into the canyon, we soon arrived at a doughnut-shaped pothole. We partner assisted into, then out of, the awkward obstacle. Mark downclimbed the broad featureless 20 foot exit ramp. It was one the best downclimbs I have ever witnessed –he even touched down without jumping from the ramp.

We elected to bring larger packs in order to carry our wetsuits. The magnitude of this mistake began to become evident when we arrived at the first narrow section.

Mark immediately went to the top of the slot where he felt most comfortable. I tried to stay low but could not fit. I was bruised and battered from doing Alcatraz the day before and was in no mood to fight gravity and sandstone in order to meet Mark at the top of the slot. Alas, my choices were to climb up or go home.

He hoisted my pack up to his perch, then I proceeded to climb. I shared some profanity as I approached an unfamiliar level of high stemming. At this point Mark calmly suggested that we retreat. I politely refused. My energy level was about 50% of “fresh”. Not good, but probably good enough.

Stemming over mini silos at that level was physical and thrilling. Dragging our bulky packs from bunny straps was tedious and draining. We proceeded across the top of the slot, unable to see the bottom. My imagination ran wild. Were we 30 feet of the deck? 60? It only mattered if we fell, and we did not.

We raced downcanyon. We fortified the mid-canyon deadman anchor, then rappelled from it. Soon we were at the final and most difficult section, prepared to battle a famous pothole.

First, a large dry pothole presented itself. It was perhaps 15 feet wide at floor-level. An obvious and easy stemming move went above it, some 20 feet from the floor. An intimidating move, new to me, left me elated once across. At that point the thought of donning my wetsuit had never entered my mind.

Once across, I headed down a narrow slot while catching my first glimpse of the Witch’s Cauldron. It looked relatively benign, about half full of water. I was wedged down in the slot, close to the pothole and in no mood to don my wetsuit. There wasn’t room to maneuver anyway, so I conceded to the fact that I was going to get wet. However, getting wet was a gamble. I looked up at the quickly fading November sun shining on the canyon walls above. It was about 3PM. I knew that the temperature was going to plummet when the sun snuck behind the Henry Mountains. We had to get through the canyon and get dry in under two hours.

Tick, tick, tick.

That was where Mark’s crazy set of skills came in handy. From the top of the slot he lassoed the log across the pothole in just two tries! Brilliant! In a flash, he stemmed down the pothole, then across, pulling himself easily up the rope and out of the pothole. My turn. I tried to match his movement, but fell in the pothole while trying to across, getting soaked from the chest down.

Cold and frustrated, I bulldozed past Mark and headed for the next pool. It looked like a wade, but was actually a swim. I hoisted my pack above my head and swam like hell. The narrowness of the slot grabbed my pack and it stuck between the walls at face level –a spot where I’d hoped to breathe.

I twisted the pack then hurled it forward. More profanity was shared. I erupted from the pool, cold and furious while Mark watched in astonishment. He took a moment and donned a wetsuit jacket. I still refused to put on my wetsuit, fearing that I would slip and fall in the narrow canyon ahead. My energy level was about 20%.

I looked downcanyon and saw a dark, evil, angry section of narrows. Some 60 feet tall and gently tapering toward the bottom, the lowest passable route was about 30 feet from the floor. No wider than my shoulders, the width at the 30 foot level matched the width at the 60 foot level. Passage across the bottom was impossible. Looking down into the taper wasn’t sketchy -it was terrifying. It was an ideal place for the Grim Reaper to grab your ankles and pull you down for good.

My drenched pack felt like a boat anchor. The temperature in the canyon was beginning to drop. I hurled my half-frozen carcass into the looming slot with the intent of charging to the exit. Every inch forward was first a battle with my body, followed by a battle with my pack. I dragged it forward some, then grabbed it and shoved it forward when I could. It stuck between the walls when I wished it wouldn’t and fell loose when I needed relief from its weight. My strength faded quickly and I considered cutting it loose and abandoning it.

I have no idea how long those horrible narrows were, my perception was distorted by cold and adrenalin. I stemmed for a while, perhaps 10 minutes, towards a gentle turn in the canyon. My chicken-wing stemming muscles were toast. The passage was so narrow and featureless, that it rendered my legs nearly useless.

I arrived at the turn in the canyon and peered around, expecting some form of relief. My hopes were crushed in an instant; at least another 50 feet of seemingly impossible canyon loomed ahead. My energy level was now zero and my pack was pulling me downward.

I squared my shoulders upcanyon and… gave up.

It was a horrifying sensation as I began to slide toward the impassible slot below. Miraculously, my hips caught between the walls after only descending a foot! Amazed and thankful, I relaxed every muscle in my body. I hung there, suspended by my pelvis, and weighed my options.

Retreat upcanyon? Impossible. Continue downcanyon? Impossible. Go up and over the top? Not on my best day. I communicated my lack of options to Mark, who was gradually catching up to me.

“Should I go over the top, or stay at your level?”, he asked. Both options were terrible. I couldn’t offer a decisive answer. I told him that I was in real trouble, that I might not be able to get out under my own power. He said he might be able go high and help me if he had to, but at great personal risk that would require a herculean effort. Not necessary. Not yet.

I struggled to suppress the panic at the front of my mind. I focused on a spot two feet in front of me and surged forward. A tsunami of profanity rumbled down the canyon walls.
Keeping my momentum, and my altitude, was one of the most exhausting things I have ever done. My wet clothes were freezing, yet sweat was pouring from underneath my helmet like a faucet. It was time to do

… or die.

The next few moments were some of the most trying of my life. Two feet at I time I battled forward. A nuclear bomb of profanity exploded from my very core as I struggled to find purchase on the walls. Intensely fearful that I might not ever escape, pure adrenaline powered me onward.

Then it was over. The canyon opened into a nice little silo where I collapsed to the ground with my pack. I laid there and hyperventilated for several minutes. Soon Mark emerged. We were elated!
We negotiated the final drop and found our way back to the cars. We’d completed the loop in exactly 5 hours.

_________________________________

Why write such a colorful story about this canyon? Well, in hopes that it will have some impact on your planning should you ever choose to do it.

I believe that the terminal narrows should have an R+ rating, or some way to communicate their higher level of difficulty. I’ve heard of other people getting dangerously trapped in there, and I believe someone could perish in there some day. The geometry of those narrows is more challenging than anything found in Chambers or Shenanigans. And far, FAR more physical than anything found in Middle Leprechaun.

If you go, you MUST choose your partners wisely! Everyone in your group MUST be a skilled canyoneer and in EXCELLENT shape! You MUST bring a tiny pack! Trachyotomy should be your FIRST canyon if doing a multi-canyon day!

If you plan properly, you will likely have a much better experience than we did. You might scoff at my story upon your return, and I sincerely hope you do.

Lastly, I’m very grateful to my partner, Mark, for getting us through there quickly and safely. If I had been the most skilled member of our group, we’d still be in there. Thanks man.

Bob

http://amazingslots.blogspot.com/2013/11/trachyotomy.html

[pikan]

Wow Bob! Glad to have you still walking among us! I will definitely take your advice into account if this canyon gets put into the queue. Thanks for sharing.

[Byron]

Dude! You bonked! I've read all your trip reports, and indeed you are impressive...but I suppose eventually everyone is going to get spanked, eh?

You should try backpacking. I've done so much of it...going out into the boonies with huge packs loaded with gear and food, negotiating some really rough terrain. I think that's why when I do slots, they're so effortless because I feel like I'm naked, ya know? I've gotten tired on epics, for sure, but never bonked. Maybe my time is coming...I hope not, 'cuz it sounds like it sucks.

Anyway, if you're up for trying a backpacking/slot trip next year, there is a canyon across from Scorpion Gulch that Steve Allen named "Prima Donna". I've walked the wingate above it, like Steve did, but never seen any beta on it whatsoever. It may be a first descent! It would be a three night trip...the slot is long, and even if it turns out to be easy, it would take all day. After that, we could run over to the other side of the fold and do Poe! Har, har! (Maybe kidding on that one, but maybe not?).

That goes for anybody else out there that might want to do Prima Donna. Experienced only, please, as I wouldn't want to carry some noobie through a canyon that I haven't done.

Anyway, glad you made it out alright. I wouldn't want to read about it being any worse.

[hikster11]

Good you made it through. No pictures needed with a write up like this. While reading it felt like I was there. Like I said before you should be a story writer. I like the comparison between the 3 Canyons you listed. Having done middle Leprechaun and not Chambers or Shenanigans. I will defiantly do those first before taking on Trachyotomy. Thanks for the TR

[Mountaineer]

I really enjoyed your writing. Nice work in getting your thoughts down and portraying the event. It felt like I was there (again).

Glad you made it through OK.

That section is challenging. I've never found anything quite like it. The walls are a perfect geometry for

a) difficult stemming where each technique isn't quite right (back to foot, to knee, to shoulder, to elbow, to hand...)

b) you're tired, it is the end of the canyon

c) you just slowly slide down, as below you doesn't appear much narrower

d) above you looks the same, not any wider

...until you relax just a bit, slide just another inch with your pack... just enough ...that oops, you find yourself hopelessly stuck.

My party has been caught in those narrow clutches, just past the Cauldron and swim as well. It is the only canyon where I've experienced the beginnings of a deep panic. Doom. I recognized it. I knew it was something that could make the situation worse. Not by the feeling, as this was a first, but by reading the experiences, descriptions, and techniques of others before me. You must push that beast we call panic back down and away, relax your breathing, and carefully plan your next move. You have time.

It is one place you have to be smarter than the canyon you are in.

And prevail.

[peakbaggers]

A great report, Bob. With your descriptive writing, the photos were not necessary. Very nice job.
But I thought you were going to stay home now and be a "responsible" dad?!

[Kuya]

Wow. I loved this TR. LIke the others, I we begining to actually feel like I was there. What an incredible experience! Iam glad to hear that you are still with us. Way to emerge victorious from that canyon!

We departed the Trachyotomy trailhead at 12:24. The time sticks in my memory because many epics start with the line, “We got a late start…”.

Bob

Epic... i have been having a personal conversation with my best friend @pikan about this very word haha. Funny that you mention the word epic as it is related to a canyon that almost killed ya. So,... my question is, HOW do YOU generally use the word "EPIC" do you use it as a way to describe anything that is "extremely awesome" OR are you more careful and conservative with its usage, limiting its use for those special moments where life and limb are challenged in spectacular environments?

[Slot Machine]

Dude! You bonked! I've read all your trip reports, and indeed you are impressive...but I suppose eventually everyone is going to get spanked, eh?

You should try backpacking. I've done so much of it...going out into the boonies with huge packs loaded with gear and food, negotiating some really rough terrain. I think that's why when I do slots, they're so effortless because I feel like I'm naked, ya know? I've gotten tired on epics, for sure, but never bonked. Maybe my time is coming...I hope not, 'cuz it sounds like it sucks.

Bonked is the perfect word! Trying to do too much with too short of a day. That Steve Allen backpacking trip sounds fun. Let's put something together next spring. I know 4 other qualified fellas that are dying to do Poe...

...until you relax just a bit, slide just another inch with your pack... just enough ...that oops, you find yourself hopelessly stuck.

It is one place you have to be smarter than the canyon you are in.

Great post Mark! Well described.

The smartest move I made in the terminal narrows was keeping my shoulders squared upcanyon when I started to burn out. It minimized my fall and kept me from getting clamped by my chest/back. Getting stuck by my hips width-wise was no big deal; I could have sat there all day.

I appreciated your correspondence offline about your experience in Trachyotomy. It actually made my wife cry when I shared it with her. If you don't mind, I think your story would add greatly to this thread.

A great report, Bob. With your descriptive writing, the photos were not necessary. Very nice job.
But I thought you were going to stay home now and be a "responsible" dad?!

Shoot, I thought so too. I really thought my canyon season was over for the winter. Leading up to this trip I had not trained at all. Three weeks of solid couch time. Distilled laziness.

Then Mark contacted me last minute and proposed the perfect trip. Perfect weather, just the canyons I wanted to do, carpool partner, and logistics that maximized my three days off. Heck, he was willing to help me pull the bolts out of Alcatraz. With a silly new tuxedo shirt, I HAD to go.

I was dismayed at how fast I burned out on this trip. We did 6 canyons in 4 days this past September, no biggie. This trip? 2.5 canyons and I was hurtin'! The terminal narrows in Trachyotomy require some serious cardio training, and my endurance was zero from my three weeks of couch time. It's funny how fast that goes away.

NOW I'll stay home and be the responsible dad. Probably.

[JONBOYLEMON]

I have never done a true slot canyon until I read your story!!!!! I could see you just down the canyon from me, stuck, and getting more stuck.

Thanks, now I can say I have been Canyoneering, w/o the real chance of it costing me my life!

Fantastic write up!

[Slot Machine]

Epic... i have been having a personal conversation with my best friend @pikan about this very word haha. Funny that you mention the word epic as it is related to a canyon that almost killed ya. So,... my question is, HOW do YOU generally use the word "EPIC" do you use it as a way to describe anything that is "extremely awesome" OR are you more careful and conservative with its usage, limiting its use for those special moments where life and limb are challenged in spectacular environments?

From Bob's Suburban Dictionary:

Epic (noun) - An outdoor adventure that has not gone according to plan, almost exclusively involving an unexpected overnight stay. Shane and Hank survived an epic in Sandthrax.

Epic (adjective) - A term used to describe how awesome or dramatic something was. Blake filmed an epic scene while rappelling down a waterfall.

[Kuya]

From Bob's Suburban Dictionary:

Epic (noun) - An outdoor adventure that has not gone according to plan, almost exclusively involving an unexpected overnight stay. Shane and Hank survived an epic in Sandthrax.

Epic (adjective) - A term used to describe how awesome or dramatic something was. Blake filmed an epic scene while rappelling down a waterfall.

glad to see we feel the same way about the usage of the word "Epic"!

Well... at least for the "noun" definition. I still am very careful how I use the term "epic" as an adjective. Not everything that is awesome or dramatic is EPIC (IMHO). The way the word is overused in our day and age, has soured my attitude concerning its general usage.

[Kuya]

I have only been involved in two "epic" adventures. Both were in non technical slot canyons. The first was in LIttle Wild Horse Canyon where I broke my wrist while I was climbing and stemming up things I shouldn't have been climbing or stemming. and the 2nd was when I was hiking through the Black Box, and we got stuck overnight cuz we forgot our headlamps!

[Slot Machine]

I have only been involved in two "epic" adventures. Both were in non technical slot canyons. The first was in LIttle Wild Horse Canyon where I broke my wrist while I was climbing and stemming up things I shouldn't have been climbing or stemming. and the 2nd was when I was hiking through the Black Box, and we got stuck overnight cuz we forgot our headlamps!

Bzzzzt! Incorrect use of the term, as defined above. (friendly joking tone, of course) You sir, have been involved in "two epics". Does a broken wrist qualify? I don't know the story, so I can't judge.

To be clear, my fight through Trachyotomy was not an epic. We completed the canyon in precisely the time we had hoped. I just got my trash unmercifully kicked in the process. However, if anything had gone wrong...

[pikan]

Bzzzzt! Incorrect use of the term, as defined above. (friendly joking tone, of course) You sir, have been involved in "two epics". Does a broken wrist qualify? I don't know the story, so I can't judge.

To be clear, my fight through Trachyotomy was not an epic. We completed the canyon in precisely the time we had hoped. I just got my trash unmercifully kicked in the process. However, if anything had gone wrong...

Your trip through Trachyotomy was, however epic (adj.) because it stood out as a particularly challenging adventure, right?

In your opinion, are there any canyons/trips that you have done that you would place in the category of "epic" in the agitative sense?

Example: X canyon/trip was epic because Y, Z....

please give your criteria (Y, Z) for the classification.

[tiho]

Nice report Bob!!!!

[hesse15]

I just got my trash unmercifully kicked in the process. However, if anything had gone wrong...

what about going home and says: <<Darling Steph, could I have a new $200 wetsuit for Christmas?>>

[deagol]

wow, sounds scary

[Slot Machine]

Your trip through Trachyotomy was, however epic (adj.) because it stood out as a particularly challenging adventure, right?

In your opinion, are there any canyons/trips that you have done that you would place in the category of "epic" in the agitative sense?

Example: X canyon/trip was epic because Y, Z....

please give your criteria (Y, Z) for the classification.

One canyon adventure stands out above all the others, and most of our canyons have been extremely fun.

The day Tony and I did Sad Cow Disease without beta was acceptional. It was frightening, because we were not certain about its location and because we did not know if we had enough rope. The canyon was far better than we had anticipated, it was fun to figure out one of Ram's puzzles (not taunting), and it was great completing the canyon with my good friend of 20 years. It was pure canyoneering euphoria when we exited. A special day, truly epic.

Big smiles after completing Sad Cow. April 16th, 2013.

[Kuya]

Bzzzzt! Incorrect use of the term, as defined above. (friendly joking tone, of course) You sir, have been involved in "two epics". Does a broken wrist qualify? I don't know the story, so I can't judge.

To be clear, my fight through Trachyotomy was not an epic. We completed the canyon in precisely the time we had hoped. I just got my trash unmercifully kicked in the process. However, if anything had gone wrong...

Sorry, my grammer is HORRIBLE! I stand corrected :)

To me, the trip through little wild horse was truly and epic. I ended up breaking my wrist after I had stemmed high above the ground in a side canyon. After climbing to the top of the canyon walls and enjoying the amazing vistas, I broke my wrist while climbing down. The rock I held onto as I stepped down the 15' cliff busted and I fell and busted my wrist. From where I fell, I still had about 50 yards or so of stemming and downclimbing. Doing that with a broken wrist was exhilarating! What I thought was difficult with two hands, was quickly conquered with just one. All in all, the easy and amazingly beautiful Little Wild Horse Canyon, in an instant qualified as my first Epic!

[Erik B]

We elected to bring larger packs in order to carry our wetsuits. The magnitude of this mistake began to become evident when we arrived at the first narrow section.

Man...I hear you loud and clear on that one!

My buddy and I got caught off guard by Trachyotomy as well. I'm not sure whether the beta omits to emphasize how tight this canyon actually is or perhaps I didnt read that section carefully enough but Trachyotomy is an ass kicker that is TIGHT with SIGNIFICANT distances of high stemming.

First off, the road was washed out in quite a few placed post August/Early Sept storms and we had to do a fair amount of road maintenance including the complete rebuild of a 3ft washout with less than ideal solutions. It was sketchy at best. Was our bridge like repair still there? (I'll post a photo later)



We too read about potholes and water thus packing full pothole escape gear AND a thick wetsuit. As you can imagine, we too had large packs and fitting through the narrows below just wasnt an option for me with a pack of that size. To make matters worse, the canyon seemed rather full this last mid-september and we had suited up in 4/5mm surfing wetsuits quite early and found ourselves high stemming 50 feet off the deck and sweating BUCKETS! THAT was an eye opener. We quickly realized that our entire approach, like yours, was flawed.

I burned through all of my water by the middle of the first narrows and had to emergency filter out of a small pothole to keep myself going. Not pretty. When the canyon opened up for the first time I had to filter water yet again from a filthy pothole as my supplies were dwindling. We stripped the wetsuits and we much happier for it. We contemplated aborting as it was apparent that others had at this point but we did not.

By this time clouds were starting to build though not directly over our drained. Over the next 60 mins things began to look grimmer and we finally reached the heart wrenching decision to abort. My canyon buddy free climbed the wall immediately before the second narrows and meat anchored me out of there. We climbed high on the slickrock and indeed the weather had deteriorated but we could see that immediately around the bend that the canyon relaxed and opened up. ***AGAIN**** had we more carefully read the beta we would have known that the second narrows were also fairly difficult. Over an hour later we popped out the last rappel a little beat down but no worse for the wear.

There are some clips of Trachyotomy in the first few minutes of our trip video:

http://www.bogley.com/forum/showthre...387#post544387