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Thread: West Canyon - Lake Powell
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04-23-2017, 07:00 PM #21
HAHA!
Look at this ass-clown!
Getting ready to make his big debut as a bold explorer. Ready to join the ranks of Shackleton, Lewis & Clark, Hillary & Norgay, and the like.
Pretty sure they would at least get out of bed before 9 a.m. on their explorations!
Bob, you're a joke. Your teammates talk, and they agree.
Get over yourself.
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04-23-2017 07:00 PM # ADS
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04-23-2017, 08:53 PM #22
Who the hell are you and what's your problem with Slotmachine? Nice way to roll into the forum, dude.
Quite frankly, Bob is a badass. He's got a lot of respect around here...something you're choking with right off the bat.Suddenly my feet are feet of mud
It all goes slo-mo
I don't know why I am crying
Am I suspended in Gaffa?
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04-23-2017, 09:14 PM #23
Remember how you said in the other thread "Be careful Bob, your character is showing"?? Talk about calling the kettle black...
Sure, these canyons have been explored way before Bob did, however, he will be the first to publish them in great detail, which is what you are probably afraid of (and the other first explorers I'm sure).
But wild guess here, but he probably asked for beta and he wasn't given it or very little of it, etc. So Bob and his friends went in, explored it, took a bunch of notes, pictures, etc and is about to share it with the world. Again, just my wild guess, hence the preamble and hype leading up to it.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk●Canyoneering 'Canyon Conditions' @ www.candition.com
●Hiking Treks (my younger brother's website): hiking guides @ www.thetrekplanner.com
"He who walks on the edge...will eventually fall."
"There are two ways to die in the desert - dehydration and drowning." -overhearing a Park Ranger at Capitol Reef N.P.
"...the first law of gear-dynamics: gear is like a gas - it will expand to fit the available space." -Wortman, Outside magazine.
"SEND IT, BRO!!"
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04-23-2017, 09:21 PM #24
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04-23-2017, 09:32 PM #25
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04-24-2017, 02:18 AM #26
I'm just glad Bob is still alive. The last I heard, he went to West Canyon and then fell off the map. I thought perhaps he fell victim to a Ralstone or maybe that he had succumbed to the effects of climate change...
Thoroughly enjoying this thread. It's been a little while since we've had a good ole beat-your-chest beta war.It's only "science" if it supports the narrative.
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04-24-2017, 07:32 AM #27
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04-24-2017, 07:47 AM #28
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04-24-2017, 05:40 PM #29
Here's a quick and handy reference for those playing along at home and all those who have been to upper West before (so you know what canyon is being referred to):
Porcupine- Hall of Horrors
Cheetah- Happy Ending
Lynx- not previously explored
Leopard- Amnesia
Tiger- Arch Rival
Lion- Upper West Narrows
Ocelot- Humble Beginnings
Sabertooth- Cosmar (Romanian for "nightmare")
Bobcat- Full House
Well done Bob and crew. You saw some exquisite canyons.
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04-24-2017, 07:31 PM #30
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04-24-2017, 08:41 PM #31
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04-24-2017, 08:43 PM #32
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04-25-2017, 08:53 AM #33
Now that you mention it, doing things the very manliest way possible is a big deal to me too. I’ve always thought that the dudes that drive boats to West are pussies for not swimming the 27 miles from Antelope Marina. Swim you pansies! SWIM!
I remember feeling really manly after hauling a weeks worth of exploration gear overland to the top of West. I remember my leg not working properly afterwards, for a year. It has been such a manly problem to have. I remember Tony gorilla taping his toes every morning of that trip because the approach hike was so brutal that it basically dissolved his feet. He couldn’t wear shoes for three months afterwards. Manly, says I! @AbsoluteGravity , can we get a photo of those manly toes? I remember Sam vomiting his guts out for an hour after the approach. He is a very manly dude; he shaves after breakfast and has a full grown beard by lunch time, so we were rather impressed by his manly vomit, I tell you what. Steph has a calcification on the back of her heel from that week, mostly caused by the hike in and out. Carrying 43% of her own weight on the approach probably added some manliness to her heel, a good thing of course. We call the calcification her West bone spur. No doubt, if you hike so fu*king hard that you get a bone spur in one week, that qualifies as manly.
Because my canyon names are obviously not manly enough, I’m going to rename them: Chest Hair, Islay Scotch, Cuban Cigar, Bacon Buffet, Handlebar Mustache, Jock Strap, Welding Mask, Ron Swanson, and finally, Stainless Steel Trough Urinal.
There ya go kid. Now we can both feel manly.
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04-25-2017, 02:04 PM #34
^^^ LOL this thread just gets better and better.
It's only "science" if it supports the narrative.
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04-25-2017, 06:34 PM #35
Oh yeah, the overland backpack trip where you were forgiving your teammates their permit fees to CARRY YOUR STUFF. weak
Exploration gear? What special gear do you carry for exploration that isn't just regular canyoneering gear? Does the teddy bear come along so you have someone to keep you company while your stronger and vastly more skilled teammates solve the problems?
Why the hell was your wife carrying so much stuff? unless some of it was yours... Carrying that much weight only speaks to your incompetence.
It's also sooooo manly to make your crew wait till 9 a.m. to start every day because you're cold and don't want to get out of your sleeping bag!
Sorry to interrupt two-timer jerking you off, back to your regularly scheduled programming...
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04-25-2017, 08:01 PM #36
Every post in this thread is like....Christmas morning.
Can't wait for the rebuttal...It's only "science" if it supports the narrative.
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04-25-2017, 08:01 PM #37
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04-25-2017, 09:50 PM #38
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04-25-2017, 10:32 PM #39
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04-25-2017, 10:59 PM #40
Dude. Take it easy. How did you get jar full of my sweat?
You tortured them until they gave you the details about my vegan jerky? ... Wait a minute. ... There was an animal crashing through our camp during our nights in West. It kept waking us up. Was that you??
Yeah it is pretty weird when you get back from the middle of nowhere to discover there are like 235 people that know exactly where you have been hiking.
Please sign your real name. I need to get a restraining order against you. Also, could you please let my friends out of your basement?
Sounds like a pretty cool tattoo. Creepy, but cool.
I got cold, really cold, but not that cold! *looks around for my rape whistle*
God damn, you creepy bastard! I wish that I was into what I'm doing as much as you are!
I think you are a super big coward for not signing your name. But yeah, thanks for the compliment. I'm going to go lock my front door now.
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