If you live with a spouse/partner... (re:food)

[Shan]

Who does the menu planning, grocery shopping, cooking, or clean up?
Or do you split it up, share each duty, etc.?

What is that person's occupation(s)?

Overall, how do you think the household chores are split in your partnership? (50/50 etc.)

Just curious!

[Scott P]

We (Kim and I) are a team in every sense of the word, but sometimes we do different things/duties.

Who does the menu planning

Usually Kim unless I cook (one a week on average?)

grocery shopping

Usually Kim.

cooking

Usually Kim, but as mentioned I cook once a week on average.

clean up?

Historically, fairly close to being equal, but I'm going to try and take it over 100% when possible since Kim works so hard.

What is that person's occupation(s)?

Stay at home mom. Often baby sits for others.

[Jaxx]

I do it all.......

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

My wife does the cooking usually, unless its on the grill then it's all me. She plans the meals and grocery shops. She does most of the cleaning in the house. I help out but I am working on doing more to help.

[fourtycal]

My wife works a few hours a day at a school. She buys the food (with money she earns) plans, cooks,serves and cleans up every meal, except when we go out (average twice a week) then I buy.

I work full time, pay all other bills, take care of yardwork, cars, anything mechanical, etc...

I feel like it is a fair split. I should probably do more house cleaning since I bring home a mess from every weekends adventure, but hey I need my internet time!

[Iceaxe]

According to my wife..... I don't do crap....

[sparker1]

We are retired. I do all the driving and she tells me where to go. She cooks, I do the dishes. She dusts, cleans toilet, mirrors, etc, i vacuum and clean vehicles. She plans meals and shops, I push the buggy and sneak cookies into the cart. It's a formula that has worked for 44 years.

[tanya]

My hubby does all the cooking and most of the shopping (mostly costco). He like to control everything and I don't mind a bit!

[Udink]

I generally do all the meal planning/shopping/cooking. It's a good deal, because I never had to touch a dirty diaper. My wife and I pretty much share other indoor household chores 50/50, but I do 100% of the outdoor chores.

As for occupations, I work for a legal publishing company, and my wife is a stay-at-home mom and part-time preschool operator/teacher.

What about you Shan?

[LJ]

OK - I work full time and then some and he's a semi retired guy who takes and sells pictures now. He works out of the place we call home most days so he probably does more of everything. We don't have a kitchen so we take turns hitting the start button on the microwave when we aren't eating out. He always does the laundry, the yard work, the mechanical stuff, the shopping we do together when we go to town, he pays for most everything and takes out the trash, he cleans up after the dog, I make the bed unless I forget and then he does. He cleans the bathroom. HHmmmm - wonder what I am good for? Now that he is gone for the next few months I'm really learning the appreciate the guy....OK have to run and put the clothes in the dryer.


L

[Alex]

According to my wife I am the male chauvinist pig because I love Dr. Laura and think all women should stay home, cook, clean, raise babies and spread em open for their husbands.

So my answer wouldn't go well, except that my wife is in heaven now because she stays home, spends my money, shops and doesn't get up until 8 AM. On the other hand, I get a clean home to come to, a cooked dinner, clean kids and a loving relationship.

So.... my wife does all the cooking, unless it's a Sunday breakfast or grilling, I do that. She does all the cleaning. I do the manly work in the yard and cars, house fixes and electronics/computers.

When it really comes down to it, we are pretty much an old tradition family, she does the "wifey" duties and I do the husband duties. It works out great for us.

I think you got to find your own personally balance, where both sides are happy and stick with it. What works for one couple, would never work for the other in now day and age....

[Win]

My wife does absolutely eveyything around the house. I work 9 hours a day in my home office and she tends to the yard, shopping, laundry, cooking and repairs/renovations.

I wash and maintain the vehicles.

Utah, the good life!

Win

[Shan]

What about you Shan?

Ha! You seem to think there is more behind this!!

Looks like this was the wrong forum to ask for the most part. Utah forum with a bunch of men (and some ladies).

Well, I work full time and I volunteer another 10 hours a week. PLUS I have numerous musical and outdoor recreational hobbies.

I do MOST of the indoor chores AND outdoor chores. I'd say it's 75/25 (I'm sure he'd say differently). Anything with the Jeep (tires, oil change, repairs, clean) I do despite asking him to do it. I buy all of the food, prepare all of the food (he may chop an onion now and then), I asked that he help me plan the menu, and when he doesn't he has no right to bitch about what I bought/made. Yes I tell him that. I do most of the dishes, he'll wash dishes maybe once a week, but then protest if I used like 3 pans to make a dish saying I dirtied them so why should he wash them. Um, because you ate the (*&#$^^&*&( meal that's why!

I pick up the dog poop, we split the lawn mowing/weed whacking duties - I enjoy mowing the lawn. He does pretty much all of the flower beds (he's got quite a few xeric gardens planted).

We each take care of our own laundry. Being accused of loosing a shirt that I touched last way too many times, and that was it. I said I'll never touch his laundry again. Fixed that problem. If he's got to wear his boxers inside out because he has no clean ones left, then that's his problem.

I blame his mother. She's got two fully grown children at home (27 and 30) and neither of them do anything. She does it all. Even my FIL just sits on the couch all day. I blame myself for not putting my foot down earlier, but he was going to school so I wanted him to focus on that.

With me going back to grad school this fall, it's high time for a BIG change. I cannot keep up this rate AND go to school AND work. I told him this and asked for his support and that it's his turn now. He agreed, though I think we're both kind of bracing ourselves for the changes that are about to come. He went through school for the past 4 years and I did quite a bit while he did school stuff.

So to my pleasant surprise, I made a food shopping list for him Tuesday night and he went and got all of it! I hope this is a good sign!

OK so this last post was actually more a vent for me. I'll get over it soon. I'll probably regret posting this!

~~~

On a side note, I just learned that Tanya is married!

[Fro Bro]

Well, I work full time and I volunteer another 10 hours a week. PLUS I have numerous musical and outdoor recreational hobbies.

I do MOST of the indoor chores AND outdoor chores. I'd say it's 75/25

Sounds like you could use a little luvins. I'm all about taking the workload.

On a side note, I just learned that Tanya is married!

I can still work around that.

[R]

While Abby likes to cook for me, I am the dominant chef, and housekeeper. I enjoy cooking for her, and I have a more flexible schedule, since I am a news photographer and can be here sometimes like in the afternoon when I have assignments at night, etc. In the past couple of years we've developed a chore list for Mitchell, who will turn 15 this summer. It includes vacuuming, dusting, unloading the dishwasher, and, like I have him doing as I write this, mowing. He does them, sometimes grudgingly. So I guess the answer is that we all like to pitch in. Sorry if that sounds corny, but it's true. And nobody works harder than I do, since I believe a parent should lead by example.

-R

[sparker1]

Shan, please do not consider having children until the first one grows up.

[TreeHugger]

Let's see....
I do most of the cooking and buy the groceries because I get home a lot earlier. He grills. He cooks sometimes, and makes killer waffles on the weekends, pre-ski. If I cook, he cleans, if he cooks, I clean.

We both do our own laundry.

We split the yard work because I love to work in the yard. He cuts the grass, I do all the rest of the gardening, trimming, etc.

I do most of the cleaning inside, except the bathtubs and showers - I hate cleaning those so he does it. :-)

I think it's perfect!

[Iceaxe]

OK.... true story, I hired my hot young stripper wife a maid. So from that day forward I figured I didn't have to do any house work. After several month's hot young stripper wife fired the maid..... I still don't do anything around the house, I tell the hot young stripper wife that is why I hire a maid and if she ever gets tired of doing the house work she can hire anther one.....

I used to hire out the yard care but over the last several years I've come to enjoy cutting the lawn so now I mow the grass once a week....

....end of story.

[tanya]

Well, I work full time and I volunteer another 10 hours a week. PLUS I have numerous musical and outdoor recreational hobbies.

I do MOST of the indoor chores AND outdoor chores. I'd say it's 75/25

Sounds like you could use a little luvins. I'm all about taking the workload.

On a side note, I just learned that Tanya is married!

I can still work around that.

Married with 5 kids and 4 grandkids who live next door! (I am getting close to 50 now!) So..... we have 8 young kids often running through the house and each of those kids usually has kids over.

Hubby and I work often 16 hours a day... cleaning hotel rooms and doing whatever shifts people don't show up for on top of our own work. We are exhausted when we get home. Hubby only cooks while the kids are in school. Weekends and summers they fend for themselves and I am not one to eat meals much... more of a grab and go type. I did make food for the Chevron and all but the restaurant (hotel, maintenance, golf, chevron, desk) employees today, and to my surprise hubby asked for something I made. (This is rare! Usually if I make something (at home) he will be rather mad and eat cereal since I have changed what he is set to do. He likes to be in control of stuff. He does not like me in his kitchen at home)

The kids have to do a lot of the cleaning at the house, since they are the ones doing the messing. As for laundry... we just do our own.. kids too. Yard work... I would rather hire it done, but hubby says that is relaxing to him and he enjoys it. (The computer is what I do to relax. If we are dead tired we actually watch TV, but that is not very often.) Car duties.. we take the cars to a garage. He likes to wash the family van at home and I usually wash my rover while waiting for the kids to get out of gymnastics or dance. Neither of us feels the other does too much or too little. Hubby is more of a speedy straighten up kind of guy and I am more of a move everything and deep clean sort of person. We have learned over all these years to just pick up the slack of what the other person does not like to do. It works out great. We have never fought and I can't imagine ever fighting.

[Shan]

Shan, please do not consider having children until the first one grows up.

I know that! I wouldn't dream of it right now. Or I could just shoot myself in the foot now and it'd be easier.

[Scott P]

I do MOST of the indoor chores AND outdoor chores. I'd say it's 75/25 (I'm sure he'd say differently).

If you have a good marriage, that will pass in time. Just wait a few years.

Anyway, I was married only a few weeks after I turned 19. At first we would occasionally argue (not fight) over who did the housework. My wife thought it should be split evenly and I thought she should do slightly more since I worked one full time job and one part time job and she only had one full time job.

Now we