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Thread: Pet Peeves

  1. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by tallsteve View Post
    Seinfeld - 037 - The Good Samaritan
    Guest Stars
    Melinda McGraw [ Angela ],
    Ann Talman [ Robin ],
    Joseph Malone [ Michael ],
    Helen Slater [ Becky Gelke]

    Broadcast 4 Mar 92
    Written by:: Peter Mehlman
    Directed by: Jason Alexander

    --------------------------------------------------

    (Jerry is driving alone talking on his car phone to Elaine at home in her
    bed)
    Elaine: You know it's bad enough you have a car phone, you have to use the
    speaker?

    Jerry: It's safer! Plus it's more annoying to the other person.

    (Driver cuts in front of Jerry)
    Jerry: Oh look at this guy.

    Elaine: What's goin' on?

    Jerry: Oh there's a guy trying to get in front of me, he has to ask
    permission. Yes. Go ahead. Get in, get in.

    Elaine: Did you get a thank you wave?

    Jerry: No, nothing. How could you not give a thank you wave? Hey buddy!
    Where's my thank you wave?

    (Jerry sticks his head out the window)
    Jerry: Give me that wave!

    LOL!!!

    Nice job. I stand corrected.
    Do as you would be done by.

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  3. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by twotimer View Post
    Ha! How about an update?

    I went in to have massage number 2 a couple nights ago. Just as I expected, she has set the precedent with the camisole, and answered the door wearing yoga pants and a tank top.

    Funny...she complains about guys coming in trying to get "extra service" and says that she has to burn some sage in the room to get rid of the weird vibes and although I didn't say anything, all I can think is "Well put some friggin' clothes on and maybe you won't have that problem". But that's just the way she rolls...she's 44 going on 18.

    I lay on the table and she gets to work. She starts talking...and talking, and talking. She vented for the entire hour about her recent divorce. Her life story mixed in, as she was married for 22 years.

    Now, I'm a house painter...so I've heard lots of divorce stories. Some of these gals will follow me around all day long just spewing about what a POS the old man was. A woman scorned, no doubt! Especially if the guy took off with another woman...dumped for someone else. I've seen the anger of that drag on for two years.

    Anyway, Sherrie my massage therapist has a story unlike anything I've ever heard before. It was like an episode of Jerry Springer on steroids...it's amazing what a woman will tolerate when she's obsessed with a man. Almost unbelievably ridiculous. She's a MESS. A little batshit crazy, too. She's getting therapy over a dude that treated her like a doormat. She says she couldn't believe he was seeing another because she herself is "so hot"...says she was running around the town they lived in (Pagosa Springs) wearing sexy clothes to rub his face in it. To no effect on him, but certainly getting everyone else's attention in town.

    She's single right now, and said "I can hand pick any guy from 18 to 80"...but I'll tell you what...whoever the next boyfriend is, he's in for a wild ride. Baggage piled to the ceiling with this one.

    So at the end, she says "All this peaceful massage environment is kind of a ruse"...and I replied "Yeah, this hippy-dippy new age chick stuff just went right out the window...you're a f***ing redneck!"

    She laughed a little at that, but I think it might have hurt her feelings a bit, too. We'll see.

    I'll go in for another in a couple weeks, and hopefully she's got her "story" out of the way now. If she can do her work without the talk, talk, talk...then great. Otherwise, the next one will be the last.
    ^^^Pro Tip... don't stick your dick in crazy.

    But we already know you will the first chance you get....

  4. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by Iceaxe View Post
    ^^^Pro Tip... don't stick your dick in crazy.

    But we already know you will the first chance you get....
    Nah, man. Been there, done that! Had to call the cops a couple times with them banging on the door at 3 in the morning...had to get a restraining order on one. My days of "Pet the kitty first, worry about involvement later" are over. I walked out of that place shaking my head in disbelief.

    She looks great...no doubt about that. But after she opened her mouth and started talking it all went downhill. I've heard a lot of women say that...they'll see a guy that looks good until he starts talking.

    A quote from Oscar Wilde..."There are two tragedies in life, one is not getting what one wants, the other is getting it."
    Hey, hey, hey, hey! It was the DNA
    Hey, hey, hey, hey...that made me this way.

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  6. #24
    Toilet paper roll dispensers that are 12” off the ground in a stall. Even worse is when they put them right below the handicap handrail. How in the hell are you supposed to get toilet paper out of there!!!


  7. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by accadacca View Post
    Toilet paper roll dispensers that are 12” off the ground in a stall. Even worse is when they put them right below the handicap handrail. How in the hell are you supposed to get toilet paper out of there!!!
    Gather the paper before you drop the pants. Works like a charm.
    Hey, hey, hey, hey! It was the DNA
    Hey, hey, hey, hey...that made me this way.

  8. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by twotimer View Post
    Gather the paper before you drop the pants. Works like a charm.
    Still, it’s poor design... being 6’ doesn’t help, but I’m not a giant.


  9. #27
    You actually poop in truck stop restrooms?

    You're a lot tougher then you look...

    Climb-Utah.com

  10. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by Iceaxe View Post

    You're a lot tougher then you look...

    Climb-Utah.com
    If you're referring to me, then yes indeed...I am.

    Angus, on the other hand...looks like a really ugly chick.
    Hey, hey, hey, hey! It was the DNA
    Hey, hey, hey, hey...that made me this way.

  11. #29
    Basin Cruiser BasinCruiser's Avatar
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    Automatic flushing toilets - especially ones that are calibrated wrong, so they flush at the slightest little movement while taking care of business, so it flushes 10 times per transaction. We have a couple at work that are like that.

    Had to laugh at an experience last week. Wife and I took a break while snowboarding up at PCMR to take a leak in the john at the PC base. In the mens room, they had their newly installed waterless urinals, that they were so proud of that they obviously had to toute with little signs above them pointing how how they were saving the planet by not using any water. I came out of the mens room and waited for my wife to come out of the womens. When she came out, she was complaining about the automated toilet she was on, and how it flushed around 6 times while she was on it. I told here, well - good thing they compensated for all of that waisted water with the waterless unies in the mens room.

  12. #30
    The worst thing about automatic flushing toilets is when they don't flush and you are forced to walk away with a big old turd in the punch bowl...

    Climb-Utah.com

  13. #31
    Quote Originally Posted by Iceaxe View Post
    The worst thing about automatic flushing toilets is when they don't flush and you are forced to walk away with a big old turd in the punch bowl...

    Climb-Utah.com
    Well there ya go...it's people like you that give truck stops a bad name.
    Hey, hey, hey, hey! It was the DNA
    Hey, hey, hey, hey...that made me this way.

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  15. #32
    Basin Cruiser BasinCruiser's Avatar
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    @twotimer: If you’re in the market for a new masseuse, or just feeling a bit sour:

    Name:  71B50050-F5BA-47B6-B15A-743544D5137F.jpg
Views: 106
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    Look, fat. Here's the deal.
    You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier.

    It’s impossible to please everyone. But pissing everyone off is fun and easy.

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  17. #33
    Haven't been back for a third visit yet, and I'm leaving for a big road trip...but I'll likely see her again early next month.

    I would direct you to her Facebook page...and if I did, you'd be like, whoa! She's a wild chick. But I don't want some spammer to go in there and harass her.

    She gives a great massage...it's just that I could do without the Hooters routine and listening to the divorce drama.
    Hey, hey, hey, hey! It was the DNA
    Hey, hey, hey, hey...that made me this way.

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  19. #34
    Another that comes to mind is that I can no longer tell someone that it's a quarter to one without someone immediately correcting me and saying it's 12:47 or something like that. Maybe it's just me, but I hate that everyone now knows exactly what time it is all the time to the second.

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  21. #35
    Moderator jman's Avatar
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    The phrase “send it”. And even worse “send it bro”.



    I took some friends canyoneering through Englestead last year and at the first rap (300ft) one of the guys said to his buddies as he was leaning over the edge about to rappel, “send it bro”.

    I don’t think I ever rolled-my eyes that exaggerated before in my life.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    ●Canyoneering 'Canyon Conditions' @ www.candition.com
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    "He who walks on the edge...will eventually fall."
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    "SEND IT, BRO!!"

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  23. #36
    Quote Originally Posted by jman View Post
    The phrase “send it”. And even worse “send it bro”.



    I took some friends canyoneering through Englestead last year and at the first rap (300ft) one of the guys said to his buddies as he was leaning over the edge about to rappel, “send it bro”.

    I don’t think I ever rolled-my eyes that exaggerated before in my life.

    I guess I'm old, because I've never heard that term before. Sounds pretty cool though...
    Do as you would be done by.

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  25. #37
    Quote Originally Posted by jman View Post
    The phrase “send it”. And even worse “send it bro”.



    I took some friends canyoneering through Englestead last year and at the first rap (300ft) one of the guys said to his buddies as he was leaning over the edge about to rappel, “send it bro”.

    I don’t think I ever rolled-my eyes that exaggerated before in my life.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    RLOL!


  26. #38
    Quote Originally Posted by rockgremlin View Post
    I guess I'm old, because I've never heard that term before. Sounds pretty cool though...
    Hang around mountain bikers for about 10 minutes and you'll hear the term at least half a dozen times.

    Climb-Utah.com

  27. #39
    I doubt anyone that age even knows the original derivation of "send it."

  28. #40
    Still gonna SEND IT


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