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Thread: West Canyon - Lake Powell

  1. #41
    I'm setting this thread as my browser home page

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  4. #42
    I found a severed ear in my mailbox this morning.

    It was wrapped in a paper towel that had '9AM' written in blood on it.

    Does anyone know who this ear belongs to??

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  6. #43

  7. #44
    I found a severed ear in my mailbox this morning.

    It was wrapped in a paper towel that had '9AM' written in blood on it.

    Does anyone know who this ear belongs to??
    It's mine. The wife took it literally when I said I'd give my left ear in order to do West Canyon on Mother's Day.
    Utah is a very special and unique place. There is no where else like it on earth. Please take care of it and keep the remaining wild areas in pristine condition. The world will be a better place if you do.

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  9. #45

  10. #46
    Quote Originally Posted by badwobot View Post
    Still waiting on this beta
    Name:  hilarious_fortune_07.jpg
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  12. #47
    Quote Originally Posted by Sombeech View Post
    Sounds like junk mail
    That's ear mail, not to be confused with air mail and never confused with junk mail. Junk mail would only sorta look like ear mail if you were expanding the definition of packages to include boxes.

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  14. #48
    Quote Originally Posted by diesel View Post
    That's ear mail, not to be confused with air mail and never confused with junk mail. Junk mail would only sorta look like ear mail if you were expanding the definition from packages to include boxes.


    Where has our little troll gone? I'm anxiously awaiting another sassy accusation.
    It's only "science" if it supports the narrative.

  15. #49
    Sometimes it's best to fade away, rather than risk further embarrassment

  16. #50
    Sorry to leave ya’ll hangin, I was out exploring in Zion. I found a wicked slot right at the top of the tunnel. You won’t even believe it, like 2 minutes down the hill from the parking lot. Apparently I’m not the first one through as there were already bolts but I’m just psyched because I get NAMING RIGHTS!!! I did a quick search around to see if it’s been named but I’m mostly illiterate and refuse to acknowledge the website that questionably posted the info, so I’m going to have a big unveiling party of the name, right here on this thread.

    I was going to release a dramatic video with wicked sweet background music and interviews of all the participants at the end to copy what some other dudes did when they did Poe but then I realized that’s already been done. Plus I severely injured my clavicle on the hike out. Brutal! I had so much exploration gear in my pack, I’m just going to try putting some gorilla tape on and toughing through for the other explorations I’ve got planned. Rest assured though, I was having a wicked good time and no one can ever take that away from me. Not ever, ever, ever.

    Sorry, that was a little tangent, let me get back to the point of my post, to show you guys how awesome I am. I know, some of you have never been in a canyon with me, but I need you to know that I am a great canyoneer and explorer. You’ll be seeing a lot more of me around here as I plan on posting trip reports of every canyon I do because I’m obsessive compulsive and the only real satisfaction I get in life is building up my internet persona. Most importantly, I’m posting this for the betterment of not only the canyon community but for society in general. I mean, by posting this info I am potentially saving lives. Dang I’m important.

    Alright, I’ve built the suspense enough. I was going to just write 1 word per day over multiple posts, but even I can’t wait to read my own post over and over again. I love the naming theme that’s been established and when I think of Zion I think of Sesame Street. So, I am naming this exquisite canyon- Big Bird Canyon.

    I’ll throw out an invite to all those who want to live on the edge and explore with me, my next target is a super-secret slot below Mount Spry that I’m calling Mr Snuffleupagus. I got a map of Zion and named all the places that look like slot canyons way back in ’79 and now I’m out to conquer them. I’ve got some great names- Elmo, Cookie Monster, Bert & Ernie, Grover, and of course Oscar the Grouch. If any of you have done any canyons in Zion before, just wait for my trip reports and adjust the names of your photo albums accordingly.

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  18. #51
    Quote Originally Posted by StalkingMan View Post
    Sorry to leave ya’ll hangin, I was out exploring in Zion. I found a wicked slot right at the top of the tunnel. You won’t even believe it, like 2 minutes down the hill from the parking lot. Apparently I’m not the first one through as there were already bolts but I’m just psyched because I get NAMING RIGHTS!!!
    The First Amendment is the coolest, isn’t it?

    Quote Originally Posted by StalkingMan View Post
    I did a quick search around to see if it’s been named but I’m mostly illiterate and refuse to acknowledge the website that questionably posted the info, so I’m going to have a big unveiling party of the name, right here on this thread.
    You know, I’ve given that some serious thought. There IS a time-honored tradition of…

    *scratches my nose*

    Hold on… I've gotta sneeze…



    Whoa! Pardon me! Sorry to get that all over you and the way that you do things.

    Now I've gone and lost my train of thought. What was I saying?

    Quote Originally Posted by StalkingMan View Post
    I was going to release a dramatic video for you Bob, but Whitney Houston beat me to it. You are my Kevin Costner. He is such a great actor, especially in Field of Dreams. If you name it, I will come.

    Maybe I’m remembering wrong, but I’m pretty sure Kevin said, “If you build it, they will come.”

    Hey, by the way, how is your ear hole healing up? If a breeze blows across it just right, does it make a ‘whoo whoo’ sound, like when you blow across the top of a beer bottle?

    Quote Originally Posted by StalkingMan View Post
    Rest assured though, I was having a wicked good time and no one can ever take that away from me. Not ever, ever, ever.
    Yeah, you’re God damn right kid! Good for you! Fun is what canyoneering is all about!

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  20. #52
    Quote Originally Posted by Sombeech View Post
    Sometimes it's best to fade away, rather than risk further embarrassment
    Apparently not in this case. I like his avatar, though.
    Suddenly my feet are feet of mud
    It all goes slo-mo
    I don't know why I am crying
    Am I suspended in Gaffa?

  21. #53
    Hmmm, I'd have to give a slight edge to WalkingMan on this latest exchange. Machine lacked the creativity that he's normally famous for, and I'm awarding bonus points to WalkingMan for his hilarious Sesame Street naming convention. And I really hope he publishes beta for Big Bird...it sounds like a really cool slot!


    It's only "science" if it supports the narrative.

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  23. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockgremlin View Post
    Hmmm, I'd have to give a slight edge to WalkingMan on this latest exchange. Machine lacked the creativity that he's normally famous for, and I'm awarding bonus points to WalkingMan for his hilarious Sesame Street naming convention. And I really hope he publishes beta for Big Bird...it sounds like a really cool slot!


    X2. Yeah! His post was actually quite funny in spite of the ad hominem.


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  24. #55
    Can somebody clue me in as to who it was that "originally" named these canyons? I know Kelsey assigned the Upper West Slot...I'm talking about the other ones. Were they published?

    In other words, who's toes are getting stepped on?
    Suddenly my feet are feet of mud
    It all goes slo-mo
    I don't know why I am crying
    Am I suspended in Gaffa?

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  26. #56
    So if somebody descends a canyon first, gives it a name, but doesn't publish the name outside his group of friends, what happens when somebody else descends it, gives it another name, and then publishes the name?

    What would happen if we decided to name a canyon "WeberStateWildcatsCanyon" for 10 years, and then somebody stumbles upon an old journal from 200 years ago, naming it "CougarTown"?

    Just curious.

  27. #57
    Quote Originally Posted by Sombeech View Post
    What would happen if we decided to name a canyon "WeberStateWildcatsCanyon" for 10 years, and then somebody stumbles upon an old journal from 200 years ago, naming it "CougarTown"?
    No matter how much crying and whining some do there are really no rules for naming canyons. In my experience the canyon often becomes known by the name it was popularized under, provided it is a reasonable and fitting name.

    A couple items of interest is I've noticed that crude, vulgar or stupid names seldom stick and are often quickly replaced by more palettable names by the general public.

    Some try to use the name given to the canyon by the first to descend it but that often turns into a quagmire as first descents are really seldom first descents as there was always someone before you.

    Some try to use the name of first published descent, which works a little better but still is not guaranteed.

    As someone who has named several dozen of the popular canyoneering routes I can give the following advise if you want your name excepted. Come up with a name that fits the route or has a great back story to go with the route. Popularize the route itself by publishing beta and pictures. If it's a canyon complex themes work well and often stick.

    There is some prestige and a modest amount of satisfaction that goes with a route becoming known under a name you hung on it, which is basically what this little pissing match is all about.

    The two sides have now both presented their case and in 10 years we will all know how the canyoneering public voted :-).

    One other item of interest is it's not unknown for canyoneering routes to change names over time for various reason. Keyhole in Zion is the best example I can think of as it was well known under the name Star Fish for a long time before morphing into Keyhole. I've always assume the reason for that was Keyhole was just a better and more exciting name.
    Last edited by Iceaxe; 04-30-2017 at 06:54 AM. Reason: I

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  29. #58
    Quote Originally Posted by Iceaxe View Post
    There is some prestige and a modest amount of satisfaction that goes with a route becoming known under a name you hung on it, which is basically what this little pissing match is all about.
    This is about me being too lazy to use other people's names. Since I'm going to write about them, then I'll call them by the names I've been using for the past 18 months. I could not care less about what other people call them. I wish there was a way that I could quantify my apathy.

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  31. #59
    Quote Originally Posted by Slot Machine View Post
    I wish there was a way that I could quantify my apathy.
    How about Utah-Jazz-offense-in-game-six-of-the-western-conference-playoffs apathetic?

    Not sure if you could define a higher level of apathy than that.
    It's only "science" if it supports the narrative.

  32. #60
    28-3AtlantaFalcons.... for the win.

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