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Thread: West Canyon - Lake Powell

  1. #21
    HAHA!
    Look at this ass-clown!

    Getting ready to make his big debut as a bold explorer. Ready to join the ranks of Shackleton, Lewis & Clark, Hillary & Norgay, and the like.

    Pretty sure they would at least get out of bed before 9 a.m. on their explorations!

    Bob, you're a joke. Your teammates talk, and they agree.

    Get over yourself.

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  3. #22
    Who the hell are you and what's your problem with Slotmachine? Nice way to roll into the forum, dude.

    Quite frankly, Bob is a badass. He's got a lot of respect around here...something you're choking with right off the bat.
    Suddenly my feet are feet of mud
    It all goes slo-mo
    I don't know why I am crying
    Am I suspended in Gaffa?

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  5. #23
    Moderator jman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WalkingMan View Post
    HAHA!
    Look at this ass-clown!

    Getting ready to make his big debut as a bold explorer. Ready to join the ranks of Shackleton, Louis & Clark, Hillary & Norgay, and the like.

    Pretty sure they would at least get out of bed before 9 a.m. on their explorations!

    Bob, you're a joke. Your teammates talk, and they all agree.

    Get over yourself.
    Remember how you said in the other thread "Be careful Bob, your character is showing"?? Talk about calling the kettle black...

    Sure, these canyons have been explored way before Bob did, however, he will be the first to publish them in great detail, which is what you are probably afraid of (and the other first explorers I'm sure).

    But wild guess here, but he probably asked for beta and he wasn't given it or very little of it, etc. So Bob and his friends went in, explored it, took a bunch of notes, pictures, etc and is about to share it with the world. Again, just my wild guess, hence the preamble and hype leading up to it.


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    ●Canyoneering 'Canyon Conditions' @ www.candition.com
    ●Hiking Treks (my younger brother's website): hiking guides @ www.thetrekplanner.com
    "He who walks on the edge...will eventually fall."
    "There are two ways to die in the desert - dehydration and drowning." -overhearing a Park Ranger at Capitol Reef N.P.
    "...the first law of gear-dynamics: gear is like a gas - it will expand to fit the available space." -Wortman, Outside magazine.
    "SEND IT, BRO!!"

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  7. #24

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  9. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by WalkingMan View Post
    HAHA!
    Look at this ass-clown!
    And while we're on subject of ass-clowns how about telling us who we are actually talking with so we can understand which dog you have in this fight?

    Or are you going to make me go over to CC and play detective to see who the IP address belongs to?

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  11. #26
    I'm just glad Bob is still alive. The last I heard, he went to West Canyon and then fell off the map. I thought perhaps he fell victim to a Ralstone or maybe that he had succumbed to the effects of climate change...


    Thoroughly enjoying this thread. It's been a little while since we've had a good ole beat-your-chest beta war.
    It's only "science" if it supports the narrative.

  12. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by jman View Post
    But wild guess here, but he probably asked for beta and he wasn't given it or very little of it, etc. So Bob and his friends went in, explored it, took a bunch of notes, pictures, etc and is about to share it with the world. Again, just my wild guess, hence the preamble and hype leading up to it.
    I know nothing on this topic, so why does this explanation sound so right?

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  14. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by jman View Post
    But wild guess here, but he probably asked for beta and he wasn't given it or very little of it, etc.
    I asked for no beta. We had zero beta. We didn't need any beta. We won't need any beta in the future.

    The rest is a good assessment.

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  16. #29
    Here's a quick and handy reference for those playing along at home and all those who have been to upper West before (so you know what canyon is being referred to):

    Porcupine- Hall of Horrors
    Cheetah- Happy Ending
    Lynx- not previously explored
    Leopard- Amnesia
    Tiger- Arch Rival
    Lion- Upper West Narrows
    Ocelot- Humble Beginnings
    Sabertooth- Cosmar (Romanian for "nightmare")
    Bobcat- Full House

    Well done Bob and crew. You saw some exquisite canyons.

  17. #30
    Quote Originally Posted by WalkingMan View Post
    HAHA!
    Look at this ass-clown!

    Louis & Clark,
    Ya might want to look that one up, Bozo.

    I never pass an opportunity to poke a snob in the eye.
    Suddenly my feet are feet of mud
    It all goes slo-mo
    I don't know why I am crying
    Am I suspended in Gaffa?

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  19. #31
    Quote Originally Posted by twotimer View Post
    Ya might want to look that one up, Bozo.

    I never pass an opportunity to poke a snob in the eye.
    Lewis. Happy?

  20. #32
    Quote Originally Posted by Jolly Green View Post
    Here's a quick and handy reference for those playing along at home and all those who have been to upper West before (so you know what canyon is being referred to):

    Porcupine- Hall of Horrors
    Cheetah- Happy Ending
    Lynx- not previously explored
    Leopard- Amnesia
    Tiger- Arch Rival
    Lion- Upper West Narrows
    Ocelot- Humble Beginnings
    Sabertooth- Cosmar (Romanian for "nightmare")
    Bobcat- Full House

    Well done Bob and crew. You saw some exquisite canyons.
    Ohe yeah, Lets not forget the helicopter approach. The "Pussy' route - In keeping with the cat theme

  21. #33
    Now that you mention it, doing things the very manliest way possible is a big deal to me too. I’ve always thought that the dudes that drive boats to West are pussies for not swimming the 27 miles from Antelope Marina. Swim you pansies! SWIM!

    I remember feeling really manly after hauling a weeks worth of exploration gear overland to the top of West. I remember my leg not working properly afterwards, for a year. It has been such a manly problem to have. I remember Tony gorilla taping his toes every morning of that trip because the approach hike was so brutal that it basically dissolved his feet. He couldn’t wear shoes for three months afterwards. Manly, says I! @AbsoluteGravity , can we get a photo of those manly toes? I remember Sam vomiting his guts out for an hour after the approach. He is a very manly dude; he shaves after breakfast and has a full grown beard by lunch time, so we were rather impressed by his manly vomit, I tell you what. Steph has a calcification on the back of her heel from that week, mostly caused by the hike in and out. Carrying 43% of her own weight on the approach probably added some manliness to her heel, a good thing of course. We call the calcification her West bone spur. No doubt, if you hike so fu*king hard that you get a bone spur in one week, that qualifies as manly.

    Because my canyon names are obviously not manly enough, I’m going to rename them: Chest Hair, Islay Scotch, Cuban Cigar, Bacon Buffet, Handlebar Mustache, Jock Strap, Welding Mask, Ron Swanson, and finally, Stainless Steel Trough Urinal.

    There ya go kid. Now we can both feel manly.

  22. #34
    ^^^ LOL this thread just gets better and better.
    It's only "science" if it supports the narrative.

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  24. #35
    Quote Originally Posted by Slot Machine View Post
    Now that you mention it, doing things the very manliest way possible is a big deal to me too. I’ve always thought that the dudes that drive boats to West are pussies for not swimming the 27 miles from Antelope Marina. Swim you pansies! SWIM!

    I remember feeling really manly after hauling a weeks worth of exploration gear overland to the top of West. I remember my leg not working properly afterwards, for a year. It has been such a manly problem to have. I remember Tony gorilla taping his toes every morning of that trip because the approach hike was so brutal that it basically dissolved his feet. He couldn’t wear shoes for three months afterwards. Manly, says I! @AbsoluteGravity , can we get a photo of those manly toes? I remember Sam vomiting his guts out for an hour after the approach. He is a very manly dude; he shaves after breakfast and has a full grown beard by lunch time, so we were rather impressed by his manly vomit, I tell you what. Steph has a calcification on the back of her heel from that week, mostly caused by the hike in and out. Carrying 43% of her own weight on the approach probably added some manliness to her heel, a good thing of course. We call the calcification her West bone spur. No doubt, if you hike so fu*king hard that you get a bone spur in one week, that qualifies as manly.

    Because my canyon names are obviously not manly enough, I’m going to rename them: Chest Hair, Islay Scotch, Cuban Cigar, Bacon Buffet, Handlebar Mustache, Jock Strap, Welding Mask, Ron Swanson, and finally, Stainless Steel Trough Urinal.

    There ya go kid. Now we can both feel manly.

    Oh yeah, the overland backpack trip where you were forgiving your teammates their permit fees to CARRY YOUR STUFF. weak

    Exploration gear? What special gear do you carry for exploration that isn't just regular canyoneering gear? Does the teddy bear come along so you have someone to keep you company while your stronger and vastly more skilled teammates solve the problems?

    Why the hell was your wife carrying so much stuff? unless some of it was yours... Carrying that much weight only speaks to your incompetence.

    It's also sooooo manly to make your crew wait till 9 a.m. to start every day because you're cold and don't want to get out of your sleeping bag!

    Sorry to interrupt two-timer jerking you off, back to your regularly scheduled programming...

  25. #36
    Every post in this thread is like....Christmas morning.

    Can't wait for the rebuttal...
    It's only "science" if it supports the narrative.

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  27. #37

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  29. #38
    Quote Originally Posted by WalkingMan View Post
    Sorry to interrupt two-timer jerking you off, back to your regularly scheduled programming...
    Oh sweetheart! I'd much rather jerk YOU off! Send me a PM, big boy!...let's hook up.
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Suddenly my feet are feet of mud
    It all goes slo-mo
    I don't know why I am crying
    Am I suspended in Gaffa?

  30. #39

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  32. #40
    Quote Originally Posted by WalkingMan View Post
    Oh yeah, the overland backpack trip where you were wearing wool socks that smelled like sweat... your sweat.

    Mmmm.

    Your.

    Sweat.

    I have a jar full of it. Some of it is on my hand right now.
    Dude. Take it easy. How did you get jar full of my sweat?

    Quote Originally Posted by WalkingMan View Post
    Exploration gear? What special gear do you carry for exploration that isn't just regular canyoneering gear? I've been told by twelve of your friends that I have locked in my basement that you brought vegan jerky to West. Who the hell brings vegan jerky to West? Can I have one of your empty vegan jerky wrappers, just to be safe? I'll put it inside another jar and keep it forever and ever. Can you send me a lock of your hair Bob?
    You tortured them until they gave you the details about my vegan jerky? ... Wait a minute. ... There was an animal crashing through our camp during our nights in West. It kept waking us up. Was that you??

    Quote Originally Posted by WalkingMan View Post
    I saw the live feed of you guys hiking, you know, the accidental SPOT broadcast of your awesome adventure. It was like I was right there with you. Every morning, 9AM, my pants hit the floor. Seriously, I just about jacked myself blind watching the SPOT website update. I'm wearing a bowling brace on my arm right now, trying to recover.
    Yeah it is pretty weird when you get back from the middle of nowhere to discover there are like 235 people that know exactly where you have been hiking.

    Quote Originally Posted by WalkingMan View Post
    I'd sign my real name, but I can't handle the thought of you getting a restraining order against me.
    Please sign your real name. I need to get a restraining order against you. Also, could you please let my friends out of your basement?

    Quote Originally Posted by WalkingMan View Post
    I went and got a tattoo of West on my arm. I had them label those canyons with your new names. Those new names are sick bro. I love you. We should be together. Think about it.
    Sounds like a pretty cool tattoo. Creepy, but cool.

    Quote Originally Posted by WalkingMan View Post
    Can I have your old wetsuit? It's OK if you've peed in it. One of your kidnapped friends told me it had a lot of holes in it by the end of the trip. I wish I was there to hold you when you got cold.
    I got cold, really cold, but not that cold! *looks around for my rape whistle*

    Quote Originally Posted by WalkingMan View Post
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    God damn, you creepy bastard! I wish that I was into what I'm doing as much as you are!

    Quote Originally Posted by WalkingMan View Post
    Bob, the thing I love most about you is the way that you crush nameless trolls. Seriously, you are a monster like that.
    I think you are a super big coward for not signing your name. But yeah, thanks for the compliment. I'm going to go lock my front door now.

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