Funny Spam Email Solicitations

[tallsteve]

Ok, there's probably already a thread somewhere on here with funny email solicitations but, I'm too lazy to go find it. So, I'm starting a new one. I'm starting to get more and more of these for some reason lately. Here's a classic from today:

Hello ,

I am Mrs. Hellen Anna Mirren. I was diagnosed of cancer about 2 years ago, and I am receiving treatment for it, but I have just been informed by my Doctors that I have a short time to live.
When I was in good health, I never really cared for anybody, with no child of my own and a late husband . I have decided to give you the sum of $10.8M so you can disburse to charities, widows, orphans and less privileged. I was doing this myself before my health deteriorated. I mandated my relatives to do this for me but they only saw it as an opportunity to enrich themselves.
I am due for surgery soon, I want this act of mine to be an offering to humanity, perhaps some people may be saved. Please let me know if this is something you can handle and I will provide further details.
Stay blessed,
Mrs. Hellen Anna Mirren.

[tallsteve]

Dang. Just received this one in my junk folder. Looks legit.

Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
Anti-Terrorist And Monitory Crime Division.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
J.Edgar.Hoover Building Washington Dc
Customers Service Hours / Monday To Saturday
Office Hours Monday To Saturday:
Dear Beneficiary,
Series of meetings have been held over the past 7 months with the secretary general of the United Nations Organization. This ended 3 days ago. It is obvious that you have not received your fund which is to the tune of $16.5million due to past corrupt Governmental Officials who almost held the fund to themselves for their selfish reason and some individuals who have taken advantage of your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which has led to so many losses from your end and unnecessary delay in the receipt of your fund.for more information do get back to us.

The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations and Federal Bureau of Investigation have successfully passed a mandate to the current Prime Minister of Cambodia Excellency Hun Sen to boost the exercise of clearing all foreign debts owed to you and other individuals and organizations who have been found not to have receive their Contract Sum, Lottery/Gambling, Inheritance and the likes. Now how would you like to receive your payment? because we have two method of payment which is by Check or by ATM card?

ATM Card: We will be issuing you a custom pin based ATM card which you will use to withdraw up to $5,000 per day from any ATM machine that has the Master Card Logo on it and the card have to be renewed in 4 years time which is 2019. Also with the ATM card you will be able to transfer your funds to your local bank account. The ATM card comes with a handbook or manual to enlighten you about how to use it. Even if you do not have a bank account.
Check: To be deposited in your bank for it to be cleared within three working days. Your payment would be sent to you via any of your preferred option and would be mailed to you via FedEx. Because we have signed a contract with FedEx which should expire 20th of November 2015 you will only need to pay $180 instead of $420 saving you $240 so if you
Pay before the one week you save $240 note that any one asking you for some kind of money above the usual fee is definitely a fraudsters and you will have to stop communication with every other person if you have been in contact with any. Also remember that all you will ever have to spend is $180.00 nothing more! Nothing less! And we guarantee the receipt of your fund to be successfully delivered to you within the next 24hrs after the receipt of payment has been confirmed.

Note: Everything has been taken care of by the Government of Cambodia,The United Nation and also the FBI and including taxes, custom paper and clearance duty so all you will ever need to pay is $180.
DO NOT SEND MONEY TO ANYONE UNTIL YOU READ THIS: The actual fees for shipping your ATM card is $420 but because FedEx have temporarily discontinued the C.O.D which gives you the chance to pay when package is delivered for international shipping We had to sign contract with them for bulk shipping which makes the fees reduce from the actual fee of $420 to $180 nothing more and no hidden fees of any sort!To effect the release of your fund valued at $16.5million you are advised to contact our correspondent in Asia the delivery officer Miss.Chi Liko with the information below,
Tele:+855977558948
Email: chiliko909@asia.com
You are adviced to contact her with the informations as stated below:
Your full Name..
Your Address:..............
Home/Cell Phone:..............
Preferred Payment Method ( ATM / Cashier Check )
Upon receipt of payment the delivery officer will ensure that your package is sent within 24 working hours. Because we are so sure of everything we are giving you a 100% money back guarantee if you do not receive payment/package within the next 24hrs after you have made the payment for shipping.
Yours sincerely,
Miss Donna Story
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535

[oldno7]

YOUR RICH!!!!

1%er

I'd go get a new truck and house, then respond back..