Signs that you may not be the best canyoneer in town

[Scott P]

You did Imlay on your first day canyoneering, and 8 years later Pine Creek still scares the bejeezus out of you.

You're mad that canyons with trails through them don’t have an ACA risk factor rating.

You know the description of every section of Heaps Canyon, but the most you've ever done is the approach up the West Rim Trail, you got scared, and hiked back down.

The exposure in your local gym terrifies you.

The only thought you have before a next trip is "How am I gonna get Tom Jones to lead all the canyons planned?"

You fall off the front steps of your house.

You freeze at the technical section of the canyon and the little kids yell at you to "Stop hogging the sliding board".

People ask if you're a park ranger.

The only jam you are able to deal with is when you slammed your hand in the car door.

You've had to be rescued from the paved Gateway to the Narrows Trail.

Your partner regularly hauls you up the obstacles on a Z-pully.

You can't cross the talus field without a belay.

Your team always uses you first to "test" the anchor.

Your best skill is meat anchor.

If you find yourself repeatedly yelling "FALLING!!"...........on the approach.

You think "Hypothermia" and "Heat Stroke" are the up and coming rock groups.

You think that only Utah has canyons.

You misunderstand the meaning of "deadman anchor".

[Kuya]

you come up with these yourself? those are great! thanks for the good laugh

[Scott Card]

You wear new brand name clothes in canyons...

[joeb]

Your 11 year old daughter tells you to suck it up and face your fear when getting on rope

[canyonguru]

You spend more time on Bogley writing about canyons then actually doing them. (i kinda do that)

[Iceaxe]

You believe everything Iceaxe posts.

[Byron]

You carry a 30 pound pack through a skinny slot, loaded with bivy gear, extra food, clothing, massive first aid kit and all the other "essentials" when the hike itself only takes a few hours and it doesn't occur to you that you may have carried too much stuff.

In fact, your pissed because you forgot extra socks.

[oldno7]

You put your wetsuit on backwards.....

[spinesnaper]

Wingtips with neo socks.

[penmartens]

You put your wetsuit on backwards.....

I sure hope Pat isn't reading this. We told him that is how canyoneers wear them.

Penny

[SRG]

You sweat through a dry canyon in a wetsuit, when you wear shorts for the 2nd canyon of the day you end up trudging through snow.... guilty.

You spot a car for middle lep

[accadacca]

Good ones.

You wear a Mtn bike helmet.

[Slot Machine]

You can upclimb 5.12, but can't downclimb 5.7.

You prefer purple webbing.

You think sticky rubber is something you toss out the window at the drive-in movie theater.

[mzamp]

You ask for a fireman belay and a top belay even though the drop is only 10ft and drops into 6 feet of water.

[Iceaxe]

Driving to Zion you take the Toquerville Exit and pronounce it "To Queer Ville".

[qedcook]

You spot a car for middle lep

Hilarious!!!

[qedcook]

You ignore the climbing rule of redundant anchors. Oh wait, that's all canyoneers...

[Absolute Gravity]

You think sticky rubber is something you toss out the window at the drive-in movie theater.

You win the internets!

[Aj84737]

Your favorite canyoneering spot is ZIONS national park.

[yetigonecrazy]

You scoff at those who talk about EF Lep but you have never crawled out of a pothole or done high stemming