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  1. #1
    Bottom Tier Superhero Iceaxe's Avatar
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    Democratic National Convention Schedule

    Denver, Colorado

    4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
    4:05 PM – Singing of "God Damn America" led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
    4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama
    4:15 PM – Ceremonial Terrorist Fist-Jab led by Michelle Obama
    4:30 PM – Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire – Hillary Clinton
    4:45 PM – Jesse Jackson Leads Castrati Choir in Singing "Great Balls of Fire"
    5:00 PM – UFO Abduction Survival Tips – Dennis Kucinich
    5:15 PM – John Edwards Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite from Hotel Bathroom
    5:30 PM – Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite from Emperors VIP Club
    5:45 PM – Tribute to All 57 States Obama Has Visited
    6:00 PM – Joe Biden Delivers 100,000-Word Acceptance Speech Featuring a 23-Minute Question and 2-Hour Answer
    8:30 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
    8:45 PM – Hillary Clinton Releases Her Delegates and Flying Monkeys
    9:00 PM – Bill Clinton Delivers Rousing Endorsement of Obama Girl
    9:15 PM – Tribute Film to Freedom Fighters at Gitmo – Michael Moore
    9:30 PM – Exclusive Panties-Optional Celebrity Party Hosted by Paris Hilton and Britney Spears
    9:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar – Congressman William "Cold Cash" Jefferson
    10:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter and Clingy Gun Owners
    10:30 PM – Ceremonial Denial of Progress in Iraq and Waving of White Flag
    11:00 PM – Obama Energy Plan Symposium/Tire Gauge Demonstration
    11:15 PM – Free Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick Pep Rally
    11:30 PM – Al Gore Accepts Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
    11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish – Obama Presiding
    12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Obama via Text Message Sent by Scarlett Johansson
    12:01 AM – Barack Obama Accepts Nomination for Lord and Savior
    12:05 AM – Celestial Choirs Sing
    3:00 AM – Hillary Clinton Delivers Acceptance Speech

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  3. #2
    Outdoor Guru denaliguide's Avatar
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    I can see your point, but you are still full of shit!

  4. #3
    Pulling jokes from 2008? (Hillary delegates)

    The John Edwards punch was still dead on after all these years .

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