Alert: Flatlander on the loose!

[dentedvw]

Another mid-west transplant, I have long dreamed of moving to Salt Lake City, and this year, I made it happen. It was easy, just follow my three step guide to loneliness in the land of Plenty.
1. Lose your job. This is incredibly easy to do in Michigan, but since I am a slow learner, it took me a few years of losing hours, driving across the state to work, and longing to move.
2. Sell your stuff. I failed on this count. I only sold a few things, most of what I kept is gear though, so I am not destitute.
3. Leave, for goodness sake! I had trouble with this too, because I had to leave my beloved wife and daughter behind to get a foothold in Utah for our family. Getting here was an adventure, with many mechanical breakdowns, stunningly slow speeds in an overloaded bus, heartbreak as I chose to sell my motorhome project, and finally triumph. Or, near triumph.
4. Get another job, you bum. I admit, I could have worked harder, and been employed sooner, but I spent about two weeks partly looking, pressing companies for interviews, and recreating. In two weeks, I have landed a great job at a company I admire, working with people I like, making a wage I can live on. That's three more things than I had in Michigan. I made more there, but in time, I will catch up.

Now, maybe you noticed that that doesn't add up. I said three things and gave you four because that's the kind of person I am. You want two cookies, I give you three. Three, four. Want a belay? I give beta. It's not always good, but how can you complain when it was a bonus?

I am okay at math, know how to use a telephone AND a computer, come with my own gear and sure, I would love to share my sandwich with you. I brought an extra! Hope you like marmalade.

I am really looking forward to this winter, because it is going to ROCK. No, it will RAWK!!! Any more than three exclamation points is just foolish. !!!! I have already snowshoed up Alta on the 4th of July while all the other gapers were clogging the lifts (and the road) at Slushbird. I don't have any friends, so I went alone. About the time I realized that it was a dumb idea, it was too late to turn around, because it was too steep to back down, and I was already faced uphill, so might as well keep going. A rock as big as my head rushed past me once and I remembered my mortality. That's when I realized I was making my dreams come true. All that was missing was my partner in trouble, adventure, and life. I tried to call her, but darned if there was only enough cell service to receive a call from a friend (I lied, I have one), but not call out. I made my esses on my rock board, and I trudged back to the Jeep with a smile so big my jaw hurt later.

Right, where was I? Let's inventory, shall we?
Kites, boards, ski boots (?) kayaks (touring and WW), mountain bikes, road bike, CX bike, rap gear, tree climbing gear, ice climbing gear, snowshoeing, motorcycle stuff, toolboxes... it's no wonder the bus had to be dumped in Wyoming.

And I make crooked cakes too. I know how to use a sewing machine (thread injector, thank you very much), and how to sleep in a hammock in the wilderness (with sleeping pills obviously).

I am now accepting applications to be my new friend. Good news is that everyone is accepted. None of my friends wanted to come to Utah, so you know I am a pretty good friend. Oh, now I get it. Joke's on me.

I never LOL or ROFL, except when I do, I like dark beer, occasionally drink bourbon, and I take crooked photographs. I am a Libra, so take that for what it's worth. I don't eat the paper in the fortune cookie, I don't see omens or dead people, but I am afraid of bears, which is why I eat everything, leaving nothing for them.

I point with my ski poles, and I have been known to use them snowboarding too. Sometimes I breathe under water, and I can pilot a boat in a straight line, as well as follow navigational charts. I was voted most likely to die in a plane crash in Alaska. I do not fly to Alaska.

I would love to someday paraglide, roller coasters make me terribly ill even though I love them, and I will just stay over at the water slides if it's all the same to you. I throw snowballs, but aim low, shoot water pistols at high noon, and I can't wheelie my motorcycle.

I write poetry, paint just bad enough not to be invited to art fairs, and I can't carve a bear with a chainsaw... yet. I love dogs, tolerate cats, don't care for the screeching of parrots, and find no pleasure in owning a snake.

So, is that enough information for you?

I would love to join in some groups to try canyoneering, hiking, snowboarding, ice cream eating, or other activities which I am certain I will enjoy because I love things that end in "ing".

[Felicia]

NICE!!!!!!

Welcome to Bogley! Clearly, you have been lurking for awhile. ;-)

[dentedvw]

No, just found it.
But it feels like home.

[accadacca]

Welcome to the hood. Love your writing and enjoyed your story in the driving thread. You found the right place.

[CarpeyBiggs]

wow. now THAT is an intro. welcome aboard!

[ibenick]

A few minor adjustments and some music and that could be a great song. Welcome.

[Big_E!]

WOW!! Makes my intro look pitiful. I knew I should have gone back to the creative writing class to do it. Welcome to the greatest place on earth, most of the time.