He spends more time looking at his laptop than he does at you and sends emails in bed

[accadacca]

Who can relate? Is Bogley cutting into your alone time...or taking all of it up?

--

Victoria was seven months pregnant with her third child when she took her two young children and left her husband. For three weeks, she stayed with her parents wondering what to do about a marriage that had disintegrated to the extent that she and her husband Craig no longer talked.

Over the previous five months, the man she loved had become so detached and cold that when she looked at him she saw a virtual stranger.

The cause of this breakdown? An affair? A drink problem?
No. The internet.


Alone together: Many people would rather tweet and update their Facebook status than communicate with the person sat next to them (posed by models)

[uintahiker]

Wow- that gamer guy is a model? The model for what- Gollum?

[kvklay]

good article....I didn't realize what I have done to my partner before reading this...

[Felicia]

This is an interesting article. I've been thinking about this subject a lot lately. I've been told that I need to go on an "Internet diet".

[accadacca]

This is an interesting article. I've been thinking about this subject a lot lately. I've been told that I need to go on an "Internet diet".

Nahhhhh!

Seriously though, it should be a balance and just like other interests or hobbies in life, sometimes we have to put our spouses and family first.

[Dr. Nebz]

This is an interesting article. I've been thinking about this subject a lot lately. I've been told that I need to go on an "Internet diet".

It is the thing I love most about backpacking. No Phones, No Emails, No Internet. My focus out there is 10 times what it is here because of the lack of distractions. Makes photography a lot of fun as well. And you can hear yourself think out there. I need to get away soon. Our new house is almost done, then its time to head to my real home.

[gnwatts]

For me, the computer has replaced the newspaper, the TV, and my dark room and drafting table. So consequently, I am on the computer a lot. If people are not paying attention to their significant other, there are other issues, not the computer IMO. If it's not the computer, it would be something else.

[Deathcricket]

Or the wife could just start gaming herself, get a facebook page, or whatever the husband does? My wife and I spend more time exploring dungeons than most couples I imagine. It's a good way to communicate, work together as a team, and spend time together in a fantasy setting. But the goals are just as rewarding as "real life" ones. And the eye candy isn't bad either. Blizzard is pretty famous for their artwork and graphics. And there are even lots of free ones out there. Right now we are playing Ages of Conan and having a blast.

Sounds like the wives are the problem and a bit uptight, wanting the husband to bend to their needs and unwilling to meet half way. Kick em to the curb and do what makes ya happy IMO.

[BLUEberryBOB]

Or the wife could just start gaming herself, get a facebook page, or whatever the husband does? My wife and I spend more time exploring dungeons than most couples I imagine. It's a good way to communicate, work together as a team, and spend time together in a fantasy setting. But the goals are just as rewarding as "real life" ones. And the eye candy isn't bad either. Blizzard is pretty famous for their artwork and graphics. And there are even lots of free ones out there. Right now we are playing Ages of Conan and having a blast.

Sounds like the wives are the problem and a bit uptight, wanting the husband to bend to their needs and unwilling to meet half way. Kick em to the curb and do what makes ya happy IMO.

I've tried WOW before but the graphics are the pits, guild warms is where its at imho when it comes to 'teamplay' and 'graphics'. Even forcing AAx32 and AFx 16 with my 8800 series gfx cards WOW still looked like gumbies play ground.

[canyonphile]

It is the thing I love most about backpacking. No Phones, No Emails, No Internet. My focus out there is 10 times what it is here because of the lack of distractions. Makes photography a lot of fun as well. And you can hear yourself think out there. I need to get away soon. Our new house is almost done, then its time to head to my real home.

Yes, this !

I spend a few hours a day on the computer, but then, so is my man for his job, and thankfully the article doesn't describe either of us. I admit I've never actually even sent a text message (too lazy and my phone isn't the kind that is good for texting), and seldom talk on the phone. I spend maybe 10-15 min. a week on Facebook via my studio page, and that's it. I was never a big TV watcher to begin with, and now, the TV is pretty much for Netflix.

Otherwise, being outdoors is a priority for us at this time of the year, so at least 3-5x/week, we are doing one or more of the following: hiking, fishing (him), painting on location (me) or car camping. I love the fact that we are completely and 100% removed from contact from the outside world on hiking/camping I don't miss the internet or my computer at all when we are gone.

I think the article makes an interesting point about this need to maintain friendships with people you aren't really that close to from the past. I discovered how unappealing that was the first time I got a FB account and realized that reading the daily goings-on of people I haven't seen in years or only know casually wasn't enhancing my life at all, and was in fact a waste of time. I much prefer personal interactions with live people (like the group of local painters I spent most of the day with...) than reading FB status updates for anyone.

The only online community I find to be a worthwhile place to spend time is.....Bogley! Friendly peeps, interesting conversations and great photos/TR's posted. There were a few other forums I used to participate in, but no longer do.

[canyonphile]

Or the wife could just start gaming herself, get a facebook page, or whatever the husband does? My wife and I spend more time exploring dungeons than most couples I imagine.

If both parties are on the same page as far as internet time/gaming go, there is no problem.

Before I met W, I dated a guy who spent pretty much every spare moment he wasn't at work or asleep playing WoW and a few other games. I have zero interest in gaming, personally, and prefer being outdoors. So, I'd go backpacking with my ex-boyfriend, and he'd stay at home and play games . Worked out great, until I realized what a loser he was (for reasons unrelated to his gaming), and moved on.

But, back in the mid-'90's, when I was living in SF, I dated a younger guy who was really into playing Quake (anyone here remember that? ). He was/is a computer guy, so he hooked up our computers so we could play together, and we did. It was really fun, even though I totally sucked at the game. Later, I used to enjoy watching him play Half-Life (the first version) and Tomb Raider, but never tried to play those myself.

Sounds like the wives are the problem and a bit uptight, wanting the husband to bend to their needs and unwilling to meet half way. Kick em to the curb and do what makes ya happy IMO.

Agreed, and that's why I moved on ! Although, if it wasn't until after they got married that the internet or gaming obsession started, that's a different story. If he or she didn't sign up for that, it's not fair to force them to accept it down the road. Just MO.

[gnwatts]

They look like a couple of losers to me.

[Deathcricket]

@Sonya

As usual you make perfect sense.

The vibe I got from the article is a chick being ignored and she left, she blames the games, facebook, texting, etc, etc... Instead of the fact she is no longer interesting to the guy and able to hold his attention. There are a myriad of ways a guy can lose interest in his wife and pick something else up. Games aren't the source of the problem IMO. I think you agree because even though you have no interest in gaming, you still played Quake, Half Life, and Tomb Raider and had a good time. Good games BTW! There is nothing wrong with saying "hey I like hiking, I'll play games a couple hours with you, and you go hiking all day Sat with me, deal?". By being vocal in a relationship and both parties speaking plain simple words on what makes them happy, everyone wins.

But the whole point I was trying to make is the chicks complaining here probably didn't sit their husband down and say "hey I know you are into XXXX I want to share this experience with you and be part of your life, in addition I am interested in XXXx and would like you to spend time doing that with me". Who is not going to respond positively to that? Instead they play these stupid little "mind games" and expect the guy to immediately understand they aren't happy because he's off playing games, facebooking, or texting and should know she is having a miserable life and needs attention. It's the chicks fault for not clearly emphasizing their needs were not being met.

[Deathcricket]

I've tried WOW before but the graphics are the pits, guild warms is where its at imho when it comes to 'teamplay' and 'graphics'. Even forcing AAx32 and AFx 16 with my 8800 series gfx cards WOW still looked like gumbies play ground.

Well to be fair, guild wars is an instanced game and not an MMO. SO not a valid comparison. But yeah the graphics are a bit dated, just play any other game made in the last 4 years and the graphics will be much more impressive. I just mention it because it's the most popular MMO ever with around 12 million paying customers. Come play Age of Conan, we need a Rogue in our group. :P

[Iceaxe]

The day I'd rather play a game or on the interwebs over playing with the hot young stripper you can drop me in a box and bury me 6' deep.... cause I'm dead....