Heaps - Truth in Advertising

[xxnitsuaxx]

Any true Led Zeppelin fan will never say that Stairway to Heaven is his favorite song. Even if it's true, you're required to show your knowledge of their lesser-known work and claim that Kashmir or the Gallows Pole is your favorite. I feel like Heaps is that way. I want to say it's my favorite canyon to date but it seems like such an obvious choice I fear I'll be mocked for saying it.

I know I know - my write-up is fairly boring without pictures. I'm trying to get them off my camera and I'll post them up as soon as I do.

Heaps started out well, threatened to turn into an epic, got a lot better, then turned back into an epic. All-in-all it was exactly what I expected\hoped for. We planned on leaving Lava Point at 10 PM Thursday night, hiking to Camp 4, sleeping for 5 hours, then knocking the canyon out. We left at 1:45 Friday morning, hiked just past Potato Hollow, and then tried to get a little sleep. I was perfectly comfortable sleeping on my wetsuit and covering myself with an emergency blanket and I got a good 2 hours of sleep in. My 3 friends didn't fare so well and so they woke me up after 2 hours and wanted to keep going. We braved the fin of death, worked our way up the wash, suited up at the first narrows, and then promptly went into full-on amateur mode.

Seriously - we could have made a video called "Canyoneering - Don't Ever Do It This Way. Ever." At the first rappel my friend started to throw our second rope (still coiled) into the pothole. We had the following exchange. Adam - (starts to throw the rope). Me - "NOOO!!" Adam - "It's dry-treated, it'll float". Me - "Not while it's coileddddd......(rope goes into water, floats for 1 second and then sinks like Congress' approval ratings). Adam - "dangit!". Jason - "son of a b!" My other friend Adam - "crap!". Me - "shit shit sonofabitch!" (I've really been trying to work on my language, to no avail.) Luckily 10 minutes of diving yielded the rope and a massive brain freeze. We moved on, determined to make up for lost time through the next couple of rappels. At the very next rappel, Adam E. came down last but left the pull cord up top. A cold, wet, prusik up the rope didn't help my language much. I sat everyone down and explained to them how crucial it was that we appear in several dozen vacationing Europeans' Facebook albums and that that wouldn't happen unless we stepped up our game and made it to the last rap during the daylight.

It worked. We made great time through the rest of that section, had a quick lunch of canned chili (light and fast, that's our motto) and then started the next section. It was this point that Jason discovered he had gotten food poisoning from Cafe Rio the night before. In case y'all are wondering how long it takes to do a canyon with someone who has to constantly take his wetsuit off, experience the effects of food poisoning, and then put it back on - the correct answer is a long time. Needless to say, the next set of narrows took significantly longer.

We made it to the last rap with about 20 mins of daylight left. Between being tired, being nervous about the sequence, having our walkie talkies die as soon as I hit the bird perch, having a rope get stuck on the pull after the first rappel, and needing to keep an eye on our food-poisoned friend, I didn't hit the bottom until 11:45 and our last guy didn't hit the bottom until 1:15. Don't worry - the story doesn't end there. We wandered in circles around upper Emerald and then in circles on the trail until we finally got back to our car at the Lodge at 3. After an aborted attempt to drive to Provo we pulled into a cabin in New Harmony at 6 in the morning (3 hours for what's normally a 40 minute drive).

In conclusion - I don't care that it's tantamount to claiming Stairway as my favorite song - Heaps has been my favorite canyon to date. Next time I fully intend to break the 20 hour mark too

[Don]

Dude, nice TR. Funny stuff. Glad it worked out though. I haven't done Heaps yet so I can't comment on that, but Gallows Pole really is my favorite...

[jman]

Glad to hear that you made it out safely - even if it was a very long day. My group was thinking about ya our entire trip and how awesome it would be at these conditions.

My friend and I were the ones at the backcountry desk at 12:15am (on Friday) or so, when you were asking "I like to see what canyons everyone is in line for at midnight". lol

[ratagonia]

Ha ha. Too funny. Thanks for sharing.

Two words: Rope Bag.

Tom

[CarpeyBiggs]

hope y'all were carrying wag bags... not sure i want to do heaps anytime soon with THAT floating around in it...

[Scott Card]

Nice report. Glad you are all safe.

[spinesnaper]

Yikes, I was wondering about the Cafe Rio...guess I am going to pass on that.

Ken

[Iceaxe]

[Jaxx]

Awesome report. I didn't realize there are other people that canyoneer just to get in strangers photo albums. Sucks you didn't make it this time.

[Scott Card]

I didn't realize there are other people that canyoneer just to get in strangers photo albums. Sucks you didn't make it this time.

That is what the Mystery Falls rap (last rap in Mystery Canyon) is for. In order to draw the appropriate attention to the coolness above, me or someone in my party always yells down to the multi cultural group, "HEY! HOW DO WE GET DOWN FROM HERE?" After just the right amount of freakout time, we then send the unseen rope bag flying down. Works every time. I did lose style points one time when I slipped and feel on my can while on rope when a bunch of Narrows walker were watching. Now I just kinda backwards ski that rappel.

[xxnitsuaxx]

Jman! Hope Subway was worth it man - 7 hours is a long freaking wait for permits. It was good to put a face to the ankle pictures I've seen so many of :)

Carpey - don't worry man. That's what the chili can was for...

[jman]

Jman! Hope Subway was worth it man - 7 hours is a long freaking wait for permits. It was good to put a face to the ankle pictures I've seen so many of :)

Carpey - don't worry man. That's what the chili can was for...

Haha...indeed. One I first saw you you looked familiar...

Well, when you are taking up 1/2 of the walk-in permits for the next day...kinda have to go early. About 2 o clock' is when all walk-in permits were taken for the Subway on Saturday.