Wedding luncheon?

[Shan]

Hi all, long time no see!

So I've been invited to a wedding luncheon for my 19 year old LDS neighbor girl (yes 19!). They've also invited me to view her exit the temple at 10am, the luncheon at 1pm and the reception at 5pm.

I've lived next to the family for 8 years. While they have always been very nice and helpful neighbors, I've always kind of thought they thought I was a heathen for staying at my boyfriends!

Anyway, I also have a fun get together with old friends at Bear Lake that same day. I knew of both, but never got final dates until recently and now they collide.

Is it a really big deal to invite the neighbor lady to the wedding luncheon? I understand this is a smaller more intimate deal, and only a few are selected?

Would it be sufficient to just see her exit the temple, then I could also have my Bear Lake lunch BBQ too? Or as an 8 year long neighbor that's watched their kids grow up I'm expected to do more?

Also, is the custom here in Utah do to bridal shower gifts and wedding gifts?

I just don't want to be a complete flake

[DiscGo]

In my experience Mormon weddings aren't as big of an event usually as a traditional wedding. So if you can't make it to any or all of the event, I don't think they will be offended. Them inviting you to the temple, luncheon, & reception is actually a sign of them liking you a lot (if not loving you). At the very least they must feel like they are close to you because you usually only invite really good friends and families to the Temple and luncheon.

So to answer your question, yes it is kind of a big deal that they invited you because there is an indication that they must REALLY like you a lot.

They people do Bridal and wedding gifts here.

Yes, it would be sufficient to attend any part of the day and explain that you had plans for the rest of it.

Good luck!

[Shan]

Thanks for the reply! I guess they do love me! They have come over to sing happy birthday (the entire family), and say we love you and give hugs. But then I think I get the shame-shame look for going to my boyfriend's. The mom's sisters certainly are "vocal" of choices (we're all in Bunko).

So if I give her a card on the day of, do I hand it to her as she exits the temple? Give money or another registry gift? My boyfriend of 2 years wasn't on the invite, but I haven't asked him to join me. He doesn't know them. I will do the temple exit regardless because it doesn't interfere with the Bear Lake timing.

[uintahiker]

Also, just doing a bridal gift or wedding gift is fine with most people... but doing a bridal gift and a wedding gift is way amazing.

Most people understand when you have plans and would be flattered that you could spend part of your day with them on their special day.

Congrats on being invited!

[DiscGo]

Shan-
Mormons don't usually do dinner, so the invitation isn't mean to exclude your boyfriend or anything. You can totally bring him (in fact they'd probably love it). I wouldn't give them the card at the temple. Gifts are about the furthest thing from their minds at that point (in my experience). Instead I would either bring it by before or after the wedding to the parents house. Usually they just have a table at the reception.

But trust me if they invited you to the Temple, the luncheon, & the reception they definitely love you and aren't judging you or taking large issue with your lifestyle. There are some people that I like a lot that I only invited to the reception when I got married because those are usually more intimate settings.

[Shan]

The wedding is early so I'll either slip the money card to a relative to bring or see if the parents show up at home afterwards.
It's nice they don't think I'm a heathen.

What can I expect at the Temple exit? The mom just said the couple comes out at 10am. If I ask my boyfriend to come along, I want to tell him what to expect, how long, etc.

Thanks for all your help.

[Shan]

Aw! My boyfriend said he'd go to the Temple part if it was important to me that we make an appearance as a couple. He's the best!

[Scott Card]

What DiscGo said. At the temple you can expect a bunch of photos. Women will be dressed up, men will be in a suit and tie. I only mention that for photo purposes in case you are prone to feel uncomfortable over or under dressed. You can expect an hour or so if you stay the whole time.

I think it is great that you were invited and as DiscGo said, they must think a lot of you. Have fun with this!

[Cirrus2000]

Cool - I love weddings! (Don't tell Ice, he'll take away my Man Card - again!)

Thanks for the reply! I guess they do love me! They have come over to sing happy birthday (the entire family), and say we love you and give hugs. But then I think I get the shame-shame look for going to my boyfriend's. The mom's sisters certainly are "vocal" of choices (we're all in Bunko).

I'm going to guess that they really do care for you, and that the shame-shame looks are because they really do care for you (in their own way).

What is "Bunko"?

Look at that - you're MIA for over a year (whazzup!!!) and now look at you posting like mad!

[Shan]

Bunko is a ladies dice game with dinner, prizes and cackling. I was in the club with all her sisters (all 5 of them) and her mom, so I do know the entire family very well. They knew me before the divorce, and have met my own parents too when they've visited.

Wow, it's been over a year!!! Well, I am almost done with my Master's (one more semester), been having a great summer with tons of trips and traveling with boyfriend. All in all, everything is very well and I'm very happy. Going climbing this weekend too. Green River Lakes canoe trip in August.

[DiscGo]

Cool - I love weddings! (Don't tell Ice, he'll take away my Man Card - again!)

Awesome!

[Iceaxe]

Cool - I love weddings! (Don't tell Ice, he'll take away my Man Card - again!)

Nothing wrong with weddings...

It's the perfect time for a single guy to hook up with an inebriated brides maid, older sister, or cousin who suddenly feels her biological clock is ticking...

You can thank me later for that important bit of info.....

[Sombeech]

Shan!!!

Good to hear from you! How've you been anyways? The last we heard is you were headed to Green River to meet somebody?

Anyways, the usual place for gifts is at the wedding reception, which will be somewhere else than the temple exit. But gifts are definitely welcome there too, they just won't notice if you don't bring anything.

A lot of the cutesie pictures will be taken around the temple after they come out, stuff like that, and then it will be a few hours until the reception usually.

I'd say hit the Temple Exit then head to Bear Lake if it fits your schedule.

[Cirrus2000]

Bunko is a ladies dice game with dinner, prizes and cackling. I was in the club with all her sisters (all 5 of them) and her mom, so I do know the entire family very well.

Huh - I googled "bunko" and got a dice game, but having never heard of it, I had no idea how big it was, or where it was played. That's cool. Except the cackling part.

(And I had a feeling that you might be secretly monitoring this thread, Shane... )

[Shan]

Beech!

Ha! Not meet someone, I was looking for a taxi for just 5 miles. Boyfriend and I did the Labyrinth Trip last spring 2009 which was wonderful. I plan to do Stillwater as a graduation trip next summer and invite friends out. So many trips, so little time!

I visited 11 states in 7 weeks this spring - some work trips, some fun trips. I keep busy, I guess you could say.

Started CrossFit about 9 months ago to keep up with my hobbies. Haven't been mountain biking enough though!

[Don]

I agree that they likely think highly of you to extend a temple invite. And I'm glad someone mentioned how to dress 'cause it might feel awkward in jeans and a tee. A gift could be dropped the evening (or even during the week) before or soon after but isn't really expected or wanted at the temple.
Not required that you know or do anything there but it might be worth it to read up about the significance of the temple to mormon families before going. A basic understanding goes a long way, especially when something someone might say in passing seems odd and you get that WTF look for you're boyfriend.
Could even turn out to be a fun time.


Also, 19 yrs is WAY too young for marriage.

[Pelon1]

Nothing wrong with weddings...

It's the perfect time for a single guy to hook up with an inebriated brides maid, older sister, or cousin who suddenly feels her biological clock is ticking...

You can thank me later for that important bit of info.....

Sounds like Ice likes the Wedding Crashers!!

[accadacca]

Welcome back Shan. Don't be a stranger and certainly don't hide those trip details and photos from your Bogley family.
Bear Lake or a wedding reception? That's a no brainer! I just got back from 7 days at Bear Lake and was pleased to see that when I clicked on my Bogley bookmark the site loaded. All you hoodlums are still here...

[Iceaxe]

Please Note..... This is NOT how you want your new Husband to look at the wedding luncheon after you force him to marry you...

[uintahiker]

Please Note..... This is NOT how you want your new Husband to look at the wedding luncheon after you force him to marry you...

He looks that way because he's thinking about how much money he spent on the ring. Look at the size of it- not cheap!