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Thread: Tiger Woods

  1. #1

    Tiger Woods

    * Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has
    a hole in one.

    * What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a
    ball 400 yards.

    * Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still
    below par.

    * What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning?
    They went clubbing

    * Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide
    between a wood and an iron.

    * Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract pushing her own
    set of drivers. They were said to be named Elin Woods..."clubs you can
    beat Tiger with."

    * Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat
    family‑his new name?: Cheetah

    * Since Tiger drives an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his
    caddy?

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  3. #2
    Thanks Beech. I have gotten a lot of mileage with the Cheetah joke.
    Life is Good

  4. #3

  5. #4

  6. #5
    What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?!


    Santa quits after 3 Ho's!!!

    .

  7. #6
    Zions the "s" is silent trackrunner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by conan o'brien
    Apparently Tiger's wife is trying to renegotiate her prenup. It's rumored she'll get up to 80 million dollars. The only other person to make that much money for swinging a golf club is Tiger Woods

  8. #7
    Mountain Misanthrope ScoutColorado's Avatar
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    Poor Tiger.......Ok, not really. He deserved it.
    Great ones guys.
    Everyone at work loved all of these.
    RR

  9. #8
    It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

    Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

    Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

    Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
    Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

    Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
    Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

    Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
    Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

    Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
    Johnny is even madder than before.

    Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
    Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

    Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
    Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer any of the questions.

    When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bimbos would keep their mouths shut!"

    The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
    Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
    .

  10. #9
    Tiger Woods has a new sponser!
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    If the shoe fits ~ pretend it doesn

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