Things that make a great Canyoneer.....

[Iceaxe]

10 things that make a great Canyoneer

1. Boasting.

2. Exaggerating wildly.

3. Imaginatively reinventing your own minor technical screw ups and portraying them as balls-out epic self-rescues.

4. Bashing "guidebook authors", "guides" and "websites".

5. Boring everyone half to death with how "hard" and "dangerous" the 3B canyon you were led down last weekend was.

6. Refusing to take any "gumbies" canyoneering with you unless they kiss your ass, buy the beer, haul the rope, do all the cooking and carry you when you get tired.

7. Proving how good a canyoneer you are by shouting "advice" at every minor drop and swim.

8. Seeing no irony at all in the fact that you talk about technique and gear constantly but almost never talk about actual canyoneering.

9. Making slings out of weather beaten webbing and then criticizing everyone else for being "unsafe".

10. Getting on your high horse and criticizing everyone incessantly, but being incredibly sensistive about anyone making jokes about you or about canyoneering.

Good stuff, eh fellow tards?

[Jaxx]

Care to share what brought this on. I have a feeling there is a funny/dramatic story to go with this list.

Good list either way. I will try to get all 10 checked off this year!

[cookiecutter]

uh oh, I'm having relapse visions of me after my first 4 canyons of my life (all 3Bs) giving out prophetic advice as to what gear this mom needed for her son to make it through Subway the correct way.

hmm...looks like I'm an official great canyoneer!

sweet

[Cirrus2000]

cookiecutter:

Bonus points: you're also officially a Great Internet Canyoneer, too, with the double post!

j/k!

[cookiecutter]

What are you talking about?? I'm a great canyoneer, my ego is just too big for one post!

but between you and me...crap I double posted again! I'll learn, I'll learn

[Iceaxe]

Care to share what brought this on. I have a feeling there is a funny/dramatic story to go with this list.

Nothing funny or dramatic.... I was just bored....

and figurded if I made a list you could be a totally awesome canyoneer like me.

[Jaxx]

Care to share what brought this on. I have a feeling there is a funny/dramatic story to go with this list.

Nothing funny or dramatic.... I was just bored....

and figurded if I made a list you could be a totally awesome canyoneer like me.

Thanks for helping me move up in the ranks of real canyoneer

[chabidiah]

i got about half of the list down... im still working on myself..baby steps...