Funny Obituary

[RugerShooter]

This obituary was in the Standard Examiner on Sunday.

[James_B_Wads2000]

They read this yesterday morning on X96. Pretty funny.

I think writing your own obit is a great idea.



James

[Don]

They read this yesterday morning on X96. Pretty funny.

I think writing your own obit is a great idea.

James

Who better to speak for you than you?

It seems like a good idea to not only write your own obit, but include instructions about what you want written on your grave marker, said or sang at your funeral, et cetera.

I actually thought about writing instructions to keep religion out of my funeral, but by that point I doubt I'll give a shit and the funeral is really about helping my family feel better about letting go so why not let them have their crutch?

[Rev. Coyote]

Too bad he's gone -- seems like a good feller.

[JP]

My heart stopped

[Deathcricket]

To all you virgins, thanks for nuttin

[Mtnman1830]

It is a good thing to have everything laid out and ready when that time comes. Just less that the family has to deal with...

As for writing your own Obit.... We ought to post our own up here

[erial]

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[TD="colspan: 2"]Val Patterson



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Obituary
Guest Book

• "Damn, Val, I never knew you until reading this. Great obit,..."- john banks
• "Mr. Patterson, your obituary was not only hilarious, but I..."- Natalie McDonald
• "This story struck home with me!!! After my first heart..."
• "Dear Mary Jane, Ona, and Donny: Val remains on my Nice..."- Santa Claus
• "This was amazing!!! I wish I had known Val. His letter..."- Sherry

ViewSign






1953 - 2012
I was Born in Salt Lake City, March 27th 1953. I died of Throat Cancer on July 10th 2012. I went to six different grade schools, then to Churchill, Skyline and the U of U. I loved school, Salt Lake City, the mountains, Utah. I was a true Scientist. Electronics, chemistry, physics, auto mechanic, wood worker, artist, inventor, business man, ribald comedian, husband, brother, son, cat lover, cynic. I had a lot of fun. It was an honor for me to be friends with some truly great people. I thank you. I've had great joy living and playing with my dog, my cats and my parrot. But, the one special thing that made my spirit whole, is my long love and friendship with my remarkable wife, my beloved Mary Jane. I loved her more than I have words to express. Every moment spent with my Mary Jane was time spent wisely. Over time, I became one with her, inseparable, happy, fulfilled. I enjoyed one good life. Traveled to every place on earth that I ever wanted to go. Had every job that I wanted to have. Learned all that I wanted to learn. Fixed everything I wanted to fix. Eaten everything I wanted to eat. My life motto was: "Anything for a Laugh". Other mottos were "If you can break it, I can fix it", "Don't apply for a job, create one". I had three requirements for seeking a great job; 1 - All glory, 2 - Top pay, 3 - No work.
Now that I have gone to my reward, I have confessions and things I should now say. As it turns out, I AM the guy who stole the safe from the Motor View Drive Inn back in June, 1971. I could have left that unsaid, but I wanted to get it off my chest. Also, I really am NOT a PhD. What happened was that the day I went to pay off my college student loan at the U of U, the girl working there put my receipt into the wrong stack, and two weeks later, a PhD diploma came in the mail. I didn't even graduate, I only had about 3 years of college credit. In fact, I never did even learn what the letters "PhD" even stood for. For all of the Electronic Engineers I have worked with, I'm sorry, but you have to admit my designs always worked very well, and were well engineered, and I always made you laugh at work. Now to that really mean Park Ranger; after all, it was me that rolled those rocks into your geyser and ruined it. I did notice a few years later that you did get Old Faithful working again. To Disneyland - you can now throw away that "Banned for Life" file you have on me, I'm not a problem anymore - and SeaWorld San Diego, too, if you read this.
To the gang: We grew up in the very best time to grow up in the history of America. The best music, muscle cars, cheap gas, fun kegs, buying a car for "a buck a year" - before Salt Lake got ruined by over population and Lake Powell was brand new. TV was boring back then, so we went outside and actually had lives. We always tried to have as much fun as possible without doing harm to anybody - we did a good job at that.
If you are trying to decide if you knew me, this might help