A bunch of good ones (WARNING: Mostly dirty)

[bbennett]

1. Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded

2. Q: What's blue and ****s old people?
A: Hypothermia

3. Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the Battered wives' shelter?
A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her

4. Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time?
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

5. Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is ****ing her.

6. Q: What do 54,000 abused women every year
have in common?
A: They don't ****ing listen.

7. Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhea

8. Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms?
A. Better traction in the mud.

9. Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old

10. Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.

11. Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

12. Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.

13. Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise &semen?
A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour.

14. Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

15. Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

16. Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A. The cake jumps out of the girl.

17. Q. What's the difference between oral sex &anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your whole day; anal sex makes your hole weak.

18. Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq?
A. They don't want to wear out the camel.

19. Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.

20. Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.

21. Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it