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Thread: Jokes to offend everyone

  1. #1

    Jokes to offend everyone

    What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
    The position of the dirt bag

    What is a Yankee?
    The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

    Why is divorce so expensive?
    Because it's worth it.

    Why is air a lot like sex?
    Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

    What do you call a smart blonde?
    A golden retriever.

    What do attorneys use for birth control?
    Their personalities.

    What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
    10 years and 45 lbs

    What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
    45 minutes

    What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
    Through his chest with a sharp knife

    Why do men want to marry virgins?
    They can't stand criticism.

    Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
    Because those men already have boyfriends.

    What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
    After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

    Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
    The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

    What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
    A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

    What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
    'Are you sure it's mine?'

    Why does SomBeech cry during sex?
    Mace will do that to you.

    Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
    Everyone has the same DNA.

    Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
    Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

    Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
    A different bar.

    What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
    A speech impediment

    What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
    A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... 'a recipe'.

    How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
    Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

    What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
    A northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time ..' -
    A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit....


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  3. #2
    That's some good stuff!

    I was wondering why Somebeech comes in to work with his eyes all red all the time....

  4. #3
    Bogley BigShot
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    Re: Jokes to offend everyone

    Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
    Because those men already have boyfriends.




    Why does SomBeech cry during sex?
    Mace will do that to you.




    What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
    A northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time ..' -
    A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit....

    I like the Northern one.

  5. #4

    Re: Jokes to offend everyone

    Quote Originally Posted by tanya
    Why does SomBeech cry during sex?
    Mace will do that to you.
    OHHHH! Harsh!
    "All roads, all codes!"

  6. #5

    Re: Jokes to offend everyone

    Quote Originally Posted by Iceaxe

    Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
    Everyone has the same DNA.
    Why do blonds drink milk?
    They're afraid OJ will kill them.

  7. #6
    I liked the OJ joke.

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