Favorite Quotes from The Office

[tallsteve]

O.K., a friend of mine is PTA President of her elementary school and needs to put up some funny quotes around the school's office so she wants to put quotes from "The Office". She asked me for help. Here's some of my faves:

"Would I rather be feared or loved? Um... Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." Michael Scott

"Studies show that more information is passed through watercooler gossip than through official memos, which puts me at a disadvantage because
[picks up water bottle] I bring my own water to work." Dwight Schrute

"I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the 60's, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors... in the mud and the rain. And it's possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing." Creed

"I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me, it's the perfect way to start the day." Michael Scott

[Deathcricket]

Jim Halpert: [dressed as Dwight Schrute] Question: What kind of bear is best?
Dwight Schrute: That's a ridiculous question.
Jim Halpert: False. Black bear.
Dwight Schrute: That's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought...
Jim Halpert: Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
Dwight Schrute: Bears do not...what is going on? What are you doing? Well, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so I thank you.
(Jim pulls a bobblehead on his desk)
Dwight Schrute: Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Thousands of families suffer every year!
Jim Halpert: Michael!
Dwight Schrute: Oh, that's funny. Michael!

Oh oh! one more!! One of my favorite shows.

Michael Scott: Mrs. Allen is our most important client. Because every client is our most important client. Even though she

[trackrunner]

That's what she said.

[DiscGo]

If it is for a school they have to be super clean. Here are some of my favorites:

"Abraham Lincoln once said, "If you are a racist, I will attack you with the North"..."


"How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammer

[Redwing]

From "Conflict Resolution"

"That poster is so much more offensive to me than hard core porn."-Oscar

"Let's make the poster into a shirt. That way Oscar can't see it and Angela can look at it all she wants. Win, win,... win."-Michael (and Pam with the last "win")

"What do you know about conflict resolution Toby? Your answer to everything is divorce"-Michael

[DiscGo]

"If that is flashing, then lock me up!"

[Kent K25]

That's what she said.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agD1i9jIp4A