V-Day! Oh the Expectations!

[tanya]

The news is filled with it right now... sex, love, romance.... and all because it's almost Valentines Day.

On February 14, the most romantic day of the year, normally level-headed women hope for knights on white chargers, red roses and Champagne, while men, weighed down by impossible expectations, flail about generating disaster.

How can men live up to expectations? How can women not be disappointed? Is it possible?

I have no idea. You tell me.

What do you have planned for Valentines Day?

An article....


Valentine's Day: My phoney valentine

On February 14, when I was 12, my first ever boyfriend - Garry - didn't send me a Valentine card. It arrived the next day, without a stamp, and I had to pay the postage. This, if only I had known it, was the shape of things to come.


A box of chocolates? Valentine's Day is a present-buying minefield
Oh, the fluttering heart of she who waits for a token of love. Oh, the misery when it all goes horribly wrong. When Valentine's Day still has the twinkly aura of secrecy and surprise, most women are relatively optimistic.

As a student, Louisa Young, author of The Book of the Heart (Flamingo), woke on a snow-covered Valentine's Day to see the outline of a heart trodden into the lawn outside her window, complete with a footprint arrow, and two initials, L and J. "James!" she thought, amazed that the man she loved had come up with something so utterly beautiful.

Filled with joy, she raced off to the university library, where she bumped into Jack, an old friend, who was grinning from ear to ear. "Did you like the heart?" he asked.

As we get older, we become cynical, dismissing the day as "a naff retail occasion filled with dodgy cards and horrid bits of red underwear" (as one happily married mother-of-two puts it).

advertisementObviously, underneath, we're still misty-eyed about all the old clich

[R]

I know this is going to sound like one of those "If every day were Christmas" speeches, but...

I have no idea why our goodwill toward men should be confined to Christmas, or our thanks for a good harvest should be confined to Thanksgiving, or our red, white, and blue patriotism should wait for July 4, except for...

COMMERCE!

If every day was regarded as romantic and we did away with Valentines Day, imagine the economic tragedy. The flower shops would lapse into bankruptcy, the greeting card business would wither, the entire aisle at Wal Mart dedicated to red hearts full of candy would be decimated, etc.

Days like V-Day may have been elegant traditions at one time, but any more I just see them as another obligatory reason to spend money we don't really have, and could certainly spend on better things than candy and balloons. As romantic as I am, I believe in being romantic every day, and because I feel it in my heart, not because the calendar tells me so.

Here is my diatribe about Christmas...

http://giantmuh.blogspot.com/2007/12...s-is-just.html

[tanya]

As it really should be, but how do you get women to not expect something really special on days like this and for them to not feel unloved or unwanted if they don't get something special? This holiday puts a lot on men. I imagine that most just bring candy or flowers and the woman is sort of happy that she was remembered at least. It is like Christmas. We have to do something on this one day or else those we care about get hurt.

My husband is a stubborn man and he rarely waivers from what he believes. He hates holidays and never gives anything, but our kids have worn him down some. He has actually given in and bought gifts on Christmas the last couple of years and enjoyed giving them. It's a rough call --- what can you do?

[sparker1]

Fortunately, my wife thinks V Day is just commercial, so we ignore it.

[accadacca]

Yep, just another day for them to roll out the pink section at your local grocery store 3 WEEKS EARLY. So if you don't bring something home you feel like an ass. My work has some options worked out with a local floral shop. 5 or 6 options are listed on our intranet. I think I'll go for the chocolate covered strawberries, delivered right to my desk and taken out of my paycheck. How lazy is that!

[greyhair biker]

Simple...show the love...so what if you show it everyday. Show it again. what's it gonna hurt you. Just do it, and if it's not enough, show it again.

[Windwalker]

I'll agree with grayhair, show it regularly, show it often. Want to give a vase of flowers more kick, send it to your girl while she's at work. All the other girls get jealous (or so I'm told) and she gets the "where you find this guy?"... Little do they know that I'm banking up browny points for the next time I screw up.

But I still feel obligated at V-day...

[tanya]

I bet your wife adores you!!!!

[sparker1]

The girls in my old office (many moons ago) hated to get flowers from their husband at work. All the other girls then speculated what he must have done, or who he was screwing, or whatever.

[tanya]

They were just jealous!!!

[Windwalker]

I bet your wife adores you!!!!

Thanks Tanya, Alway depend on you to say something cool that keeps me smiling...

[Jaxx]

I asked my wifey a couple weeks ago what she wanted to do for valentines gifts. "Nothing lets just save the money". I reverified that she wasn't expecting any gifts. Last week I reaffirmed that there would be no gift exchanges. Emphasizing no flowers, chocolates, etc. for me or her. She mentioned that she had gotten me something small a few months back that she was going to give so all the no gifts got shot to crap and I ordered her some flowers from Proflowers (because I'm to lazy to go to the store) and got her some new hiking shoes from columbia (pink trim of course). Now when she gets me something I won't feel guilty.
I am also going to buy my little girls some necklaces, a single rose each, and candy.

Valentines and diamonds are both a sham, I hate them both but my wife loves them and I'm whipped so she gets spoiled.

[Iceaxe]

"Nothing lets just save the money".

Don't fall for that one!!!!!

Or...... yooooouuuuu'lllll beeee soooorrrryyyyy......



I always buy my wife something sexy.... because that means she has to try it on..... which means we are just moments away from beginning the real celebration.



Touchdown!!!!

[greyhair biker]

I've already started with Valentines Day....and no, I'll keep the details to myself thankyouverymuch

[Teleken]

There is a cure for Valentines Day, it's called breaking up.

Seriously though others have posted the correct answer show your love as much and as often as possible. Valentines day was created by the greeting card industry.

[R]

There is a cure for Valentines Day, it's called breaking up.

Seriously though others have posted the correct answer show your love as much and as often as possible. Valentines day was created by the greeting card industry.

Maybe you should read this before you declare that V-Day was "created" by the greeting card moguls...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentines_day

[Teleken]

Good link Richard, Learning something new every day. I'll change my position and now know it's more than the day those mobsters were shot.

[Iceaxe]

Hey.... when I was a kid everyone used to write little love notes on cards to the members of the opposite sex that they liked. Then at night you would leave the cards on the doorstep, ring the door bell and run like hell. Sometimes you would sign the cards and sometimes not, depending on how brave/shy/dumb/smart you were.....

Did anyone else do this? I notice it's not done anymore among my kids and their friends.....

[savanna3313]

Hey.... when I was a kid everyone used to write little love notes on cards to the members of the opposite sex that they liked. Then at night you would leave the cards on the doorstep, ring the door bell and run like hell. Sometimes you would sign the cards and sometimes not, depending on how brave/shy/dumb/smart you were.....

Did anyone else do this? I notice it's not done anymore among my kids and their friends.....

This just got brought up today in a conversation. When I was in elementary school, we always made a Valentine's box and decorated it with our own designs (sort of like a small letter box with an opening at the top to put the Valentine) and everyone brought a Valentine for each class member. Girls and boys each gave to everyone. I remember in the 4rth grade that one boy handed me his Valentine separately and wouldn't put it in the Valentine box because he wanted me to know it was from him. I told him it was really pretty and thanked him and he smiled and told me his Mom had picked it out for him.

[tanya]

Hey.... when I was a kid everyone used to write little love notes on cards to the members of the opposite sex that they liked. Then at night you would leave the cards on the doorstep, ring the door bell and run like hell. Sometimes you would sign the cards and sometimes not, depending on how brave/shy/dumb/smart you were.....

Did anyone else do this? I notice it's not done anymore among my kids and their friends.....

So Sweet!!!!

Sounds like you were a romantic at one time. What happened?