10 Excuses Imus Could Have Made to the Team

[HEADHUNTER]

Posted Apr 13th 2007 11:25AM by Dinesh D'Souza
Filed under: Don Imus


1. I meant it as a compliment.

2. I've been listening to too much hip-hop. What groups would you hos, I mean folks, recommend from here on out? Maybe I should switch to country music for a while.

3. I'm an equal-opportunity offender. I hate everybody! You should see the things I say about Jews, Christians, white people. You guys actually came off lightly by my standards.

4. My words were misconstrued. I was talking to my producer, and what I meant to say is that I needed a snappy-headed hose. You won't believe the garden work I'm doing these days.

5. I missed the target. The real whores are Sharpton and Jackson, and they come at a high price too. (As for Sharpton's hair, c'mon! Nappy is an understatement.) Lots of people are paying the big bucks to these pros, and after this I guess I will be joining the list of patrons.

6. We've got serious national issues to deal with like health care and terrorism and global warming and you want to talk about this nonsense?

7. So you don't like my sense of humor! Okay, let me tell you the one about the Englishman, the Irishman and the Polack...

8. How come Coulter gets away with "******" and I can't get away with "ho"?

9. Even Jesse Jackson uses some of the same terms that I'm being criticized for. Remember, "Hey hey, ho ho, Western Civilization has got to go?" Just for the record, that wasn't me, it was Jesse.

10. Well, I don't have to do radio any more. I can go where my linguistic talents are more appreciated. I wonder if there's room in the music business for one more white rapper?

[denaliguide]

i like # 3. i call that the don rickles defense.