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Thread: University of Michigan (jokes)

  1. #1

    University of Michigan (jokes)

    Q: What's the difference between a University of Michigan fan and a carp?
    A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

    Q: How many University of Michigan fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

    Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
    A: On the University of Michigan campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

    Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at University of Michigan weddings?
    A: To keep the flies off the bride.

    Q: Why don't University of Michigan fans let their kids play in sand boxes?
    A: Because cats keep covering them up.

    Q: Did you hear about the University of Michigan fan who locked his keys in his car?
    A: He couldn't get his family out.

    Q: Why do University of Michigan fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
    A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

    Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Michigan campus?
    A: A visitor.

    Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Michigan library?
    A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

    Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Michigan's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
    A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

    Q: Do you know why the University of Michigan football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?
    A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

    Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the University of Michigan campus?
    A: The officials had to check ID's before letting anyone back on board.

    Q: What does the average University of Michigan student get on his SAT?
    A: Drool.

    Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and a University of Michigan?
    A: Six more weeks of bad football.

    Q: What should you do if you find three University of Michigan fans buried up to their neck in cement?
    A: Get more cement.

    General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie. The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish." The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war." The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish." "Well," the General responds, "then can you have University of Michigan win a bowl game this year?" After a moment, the genie says, "Let me see that map again."

    Q: How do you make University of Michigan cookies?
    A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

    Q: What do you get when you cross a University of Michigan fan and a pig?
    A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

    Q: How many University of Michigan freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None, it's a sophomore course.
    "My heart shall cry out for Moab..." Isaiah 15:5

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  3. #2
    I know there aren't too many UofM fans or Ohio State fans on this site, but I'm working on that.
    "My heart shall cry out for Moab..." Isaiah 15:5

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