French Jokes

[DiscGo]

Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 so wildly?
A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the U.S.

Q: What's the difference between 1943 and 2003?
A. This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German puppets what to do.

Q: What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training?
A: How to surrender in at least 10 languages.

Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army?
A: A rear view mirror, so they can see the war.

Q: Why does Nike like the French Army?
A: Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes.

Q: How do you stop a French tank?
A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it!

Q: How many gears does a French tank have?
A: 4 reverse and 1 forward, in case the enemy attacks from the rear.

Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
A. The Army.

Q: How can you identify a French Infantryman?
A: Sunburned armpits.

Q. Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?
A. So the Germans could march in the shade.

Q. Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama?
A. So the French can show them how to surrender.

Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
A: Nobody knows, it's never been tried.

Q. Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
A. Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.