Funny Stories Thread -- from the office

[Sombeech]

Got a funny story or prank from your office? Post it here.

I came in last week, and the office stunk from somebody dropping a "bomb" in the toilet nearby.

We've got cameras around the office, so we decided to run the tape and see who was going in and out of the bathroom around 7:00 a.m. A customer came and asked us what we were doing, and I blatantly stated "Somebody came in this morning and dropped a BOMB in the toilet, and we're going to see who it was!!"

Well, I was expecting it to be one of our delivery drivers, whom are infamous for this. They were not in the office. Right after I said that statement, we saw our salesman on camera RUNNING to the bathroom on camera.

He's a quiet guy. He also happens to be in the office, 10ft away when I said that. He hurried and snuck out of the room right when we saw him on camera.

[tanya]

It's the pits getting caught!

[DiscGo]

That 's funny. I feel bad for that guy, but at least it wasn't your customer. You'd never see him again .

[R]

One Saturday about five years ago, I came in from shooting a ball game or some such assignment to find our sports editor (at the time) lying on the floor, surrounded by med techs, telling them he had tightness in the chest and trouble breathing. They took him away. When he returned from the hospital later in the day, with nothing wrong, I asked him what happened. Apparently he had been startled by a ferret.

It turns out that one of our ad reps had come up to do some weekend work, and brought her ferret, which had gotten loose and come into the newsroom just in time to scare the breath out of our sports editor.

[greyhair biker]

I cant resist! there are SO many things that go on underground that cant be repeated but here's one - ..I had a guy on our crew come to the lunch niche conplaining of chest pains...we of course cant take that stuff lightly so we proceeded to follow proceedure and arrange for the mine ambulance to meet us at the shaft on surface. He was in increasing pain and we, thinking he was having a heart attack, treated him as we should and did a nice job too. When the emergency room got hold of him and put him through the tests it was determind that he had severe CONSTIPATION and had to him him several enemas before they would release him...he has not lived it down since.

[Sombeech]

This one salesman will call into our office and ask for Tammy.

We'll put him on hold, and one of us will pick it up and say "This is Danny". He'll say "I'm holding for Tammy"
"Oh, sorry, one moment"
Then we'll take turns, and each name will get further from sounding like Tammy. "This is Gary"
"I'm holding for TAMMY"
"Oh, sorry, one moment"
Then we'll go WAY off and I'll answer in a professional voice "This is Justin"
"Oh my hell, I'M HOLDING FOR TAMMY!!!"

"Oh, sorry man. She's not here."

"Shit" -- click

[tanya]

You are cruel

[Sombeech]

Bump:

OK, just 2 minutes ago, we hear some exciting news from one of our Salesman.

He's not computer literate -- AT ALL. In fact, some of us have to open his email for him.

So anyways, as he's walking to the printer, he tells us he's just won a laptop. We're wondering what contest he's won. He printed up the details, just to be sure. He also says, all he has to do is choose between a Mac or Windows.

He clicked on a pop-up that said "Win a free Laptop", and he took it hook, line, and sinker. He filled out the details, and he printed the page off.

[tanya]

Bump:

OK, just 2 minutes ago, we hear some exciting news from one of our Salesman.

He's not computer literate -- AT ALL. In fact, some of us have to open his email for him.

So anyways, as he's walking to the printer, he tells us he's just won a laptop. We're wondering what contest he's won. He printed up the details, just to be sure. He also says, all he has to do is choose between a Mac or Windows.

He clicked on a pop-up that said "Win a free Laptop", and he took it hook, line, and sinker. He filled out the details, and he printed the page off.

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That is so sad

[Sombeech]

...and here it is. I snagged the paper that he printed off and scanned it.

[Iceaxe]

Tell him that is nothing...... there are hundred's of women in my area who want to have sex with me... all I have to do is click the link

[Sombeech]

He was even getting ready to put his credit card number in. He was asking me all kinds of questions about printing the pop ups.

[accadacca]

[Sombeech]

...and later today:

Our new secretary locked her keys in her car. So, my boss decided to help her out by taking our "home made" slim jim out to her car, trying to pop the lock open.

Our parking lot is shared by a few businesses that we don't know that well.

About 10 minutes into it, he decides to look inside to see where the keys are. He'd been "Jacking" the wrong car for 10 minutes.

After finding the right car, I came out and pulled up on the hatchback door. Open Sesame.

[accadacca]

Man Sombeech, you have some real geniuses working at yer place.

[accadacca]

Ok I got one...

Title: Grand Theft Pony

We were working at our annual convention downtown over a month ago now at the Salt Palace. This is were 8,000+ distributors show up to drink the orange koolaid. Anyway, some of our IT help desk had brought some razor scooters with them to ride around. I guess to help them travel to different areas...thats what they claim. We have about 50 of these scooters around the office and they are all decked out with a different theme. There are ponies, choppers, cows, etc, etc, etc...its all covered. One of the scooters they brought was a pony, it had a white stuffed head on the neck over the steering column and fur all over it. This IT guy was just riding it around the whole time and it was driving us crazy. So, Operation Pony commenced!!!!

Our plan was to rip the sucker off when we got the chance. We would take it to one of our cars and bring it back to the office after the weekend. Then hide it up in marketing somewhere. So I was taking a leak and I saw him come in to do the same. I hurried out and noticed that he parked the scooter outside the door. I called my peeps and the heist was on. We jacked the scooter and took some rather funny photos with it out on the street. When the dude came out of the b-room he was looking around and was very confused. Now remember he had been riding this around for a couple days. He totally suspected us but had no proof and didn't say anything.

We heard word around the final day and IT saying that the scooter had been stolen. Their prized pony. They were bummed, big time, moping around. They finally found it in marketing the next week and rode it back to help desk with smiles from ear to ear. It was a fine day for the web team and a well planed operation.

[tanya]

[Cirrus2000]

Man, IT intimidates me. Those guys always seem to wield all the power...

Two weeks ago, one of the guys at work found the cell phone of a co-worker lying on the couch. This guy, the finder - who we refer to as "Jackass" - is quite the text messaging pro. In no time, he changed the banner on the phone to say "I like boys", and sent a text message off to the phone owner's wife, saying "Looking forward to getting home and snatching a kiss - or vice versa".

Owner gets a reply saying "WHAT?" (maybe she wasn't sure what it meant...) With a little brainstorming, he figured out who had done it. There were threats made, and lots of tension. It's still there 2 weeks later...

The funniest thing is, the phone owner seriously thought that Jackass (married, with a brand new baby at home) was hitting on his wife. Uh, hello?!?

[Sombeech]

Man, IT intimidates me. Those guys always seem to wield all the power...

Exactly. "Just how much of my email are they reading?"