Need some Suggestions....

[Iceaxe]

OK.... I spent Sunday at Wyoming Downs knocking back a few adult beverages and betting on the ponies...... next thing I know I hit the Trifecta.... BIG MONEY....

Anyhoo.... before I left Wyoming for the return trip to the promised land I loaded up the truck with really good beer and bought the kids a huge bag of illegal fireworks. Now I need some suggestions on how to blow the remainder of the cash........

[derstuka]

OK.... I spent Sunday at Wyoming Downs knocking back a few adult beverages and betting on the ponies...... next thing I know I hit the Trifecta.... BIG MONEY....

Anyhoo.... before I left Wyoming for the return trip to the promised land I loaded up the truck with really good beer and bought the kids a huge bag of illegal fireworks. Now I need some suggestions on how to blow the remainder of the cash........

Hookers and/or strip joints definitely...wait, do they have strip joints in Utah???

[icthys]

Depends on how much you've got left.

[Iceaxe]

Enough for the strip club...

I don't have enough left that I could buy a new car or anything.... but I could easily buy two hookers (the cute ones) and still have enough left over to hire a couple midget wrestlers.

Nothin' beats found money..... nothin' is as fun as spreadin' the wealth...

[rockgremlin]

Well, you did right by buyin the kiddies some illegal fireworks. For a kid, nothin says I love you louder than illegal fireworks.

Congrats on your winnings! Way to stick it to the man!

[accadacca]

I would go heavy on the midgets....

[DaveOU812]

I would give it to a worthy cause. I have a few of my favorites here just in case.

The Daveou812 needs a new car fund.
The Daveou812 needs a new guitar fund.
The Daveou812 wants to see a few midgit wrestlers fund.

[Iceaxe]

Yeah.... last night was awesome around the Ice house..... Mom and dad sittin' on the front porch pounding' beers and the kids launching massive amounts of fireworks into the night sky. The entire neighborhood came over to watch and drink beer....

We only bought mortars, artillery shells and the BIG rockets...... none of that sissy stuff.....

Have you ever seen an 8 y/o lighting the fuse on a mortar that is taller then she is?

I tired to find a pony keg for the first Utah football game but no luck....

[rockgremlin]

Yeah.... last night was awesome around the Ice house..... Mom and dad sittin' on the front porch pounding' beers and the kids launching massive amounts of fireworks into the night sky. The entire neighborhood came over to watch and drink beer....

We only bought mortars, artillery shells and the BIG rockets...... none of that sissy stuff.....

Have you ever seen an 8 y/o lighting the fuse on a mortar that is taller then she is?

I tired to find a pony keg for the first Utah football game but no luck....

Ummmmmm....you're gonna have to tell me where you bought your artillery shells. The last time I went to Evanston looking for artillery shells (last year), I was informed that they have been vigorously banned in all parts of the state.

Just to clarify...my definition of artillery shells are like fiesta balls (mortars), only instead of delivering a wide spray of sparks, it just makes a deafeningly loud BOOM!!!

[Iceaxe]

Porters has Artillery shells. I seen the big boom ones you are talking about in an assortment pack. They came in a six pack with two loud booms, two cracklers, and two something else.

We bought all our fireworks at Porters.... they also have a descent liqueur store complete with a drive up window.

First place I stopped at was Phantom Fireworks cause that is where the kids wanted to stop. I asked to use the restroom and the guy said "we don't have one" .... screw that, I'm not going to dump a wad of cash in his pocket if he wont let me use his restroom. As much money as I was going to spend he should have offered to hold the frickin' bucket while I practiced my 8' arch shot.

The guys at Porters are always nice and are happy to tell you what is the biggest bang for the buck. They always spend time helping me make a good selection. I'll never stop and see the assholes at Phantom again.

[DickHead]

Got any money left? Whatever you do:
Live fast, die young, leave a fat, bloated, toxic corpse....
Start with the midget stripper-hookers, a couple lines of blow...and go from there...

[Iceaxe]

Lifes journey is not to arrive safely at the Grave, in a well preserved body; but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, ...Holy Shit... What A Ride!

[icthys]

I can get some killer audio/video stuff? I'd cut ya a deal.

[savanna3313]

Lifes journey is not to arrive safely at the Grave, in a well preserved body; but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, ...Holy Shit... What A Ride!

wow....I like that. I'll have to remember it....

[shlingdawg]

I'm SO glad you're not my neighbor.

[nelsonccc]

[/quote]

Hookers and/or strip joints definitely...wait, do they have strip joints in Utah???[/quote]

They definately got them here in Vegas. Come down here and i'll take you to all of the best ones. Nothing draws a crowd like $60 and three seperate bimbos witing in line to give lap dances. yeehaw.

[DirkHammergate]

I would go heavy on the midgets....

Make some midgets **** some gords... charge an admission fee, double or triple your cash. That's what i'd do.

[Iceaxe]

I'm SO glad you're not my neighbor.

Yeah.... if you don't like wild parties, beer cans on the lawn, barking dogs, noisey kids, fireworks and free stripper shows you would hate living next to me. My hot 30-something stripper wife gets the cops called on her parties a least a couple of times each year. I always tease her that she's the only mom in the hood still tossing a bash wild enough to have the cops show up.

Funny thing is the cops always mention who called so we know which mailbox to load with fireworks.

I admit it.... I'm a reallllly baaad neighbor.

[Rev. Coyote]

Crack.

[asdf]

I admit it.... I'm a reallllly baaad neighbor.

You sound like a great neighbor! I always get stuck with molly mo mo's on either side of me.