the gap

[goofball]

i have noticed recently that a lot of couples are older men, younger women, w/ a gap of 10-15+ years (man older). was talking to my roomie and her take was - younger guys (her age, mid 20's) suck. most of the guys she knows are living w/ parents and unemployed or slackers. i know research shows a gap of 5 years to be ideal for lifelong relationship success, and myself think even 10 years can still be stable lifelong, but that is the max. i think beyond that you have too great a gap in outlook, experience, priority, etc. and will eventually have difficulties. i guess i should be thankful, being 36. maybe i should cruise the universities wearing a shirt saying "36 & available" . when i was married at 26 my wife was 36, so i am not averse. i just think for a serious relationship to have the very best chance at success, meaning one is going to be there to bury the other waaaaay down the road, then look at all the factors. and personally, younger women are going to want babies. i am content there. no more babies please. i love my son more than anything, but no more.

[nitmik]

My girlfriend who I love more than everything was married to a guy who was 16 years older than she was, it only lasted a year. The age difference was just too much.

Now my sister also dated a guy for about two years and he was 15 years older and that turned out to be way too much. He just could not keep up with her.

So I don't think it's a good idea. I can see the attraction for women to older men though. There are so many losers out there who amount to nothing and then they see an older man who has a good job, nice house, list just goes on.

[canyonphile]

I'd have to agree here. I've dated a couple of men that were much older than me, but the relationships never were going to go anywhere. Once you get to 10+ years age difference, there starts to become a "generation gap" of sorts, for the reasons Goofball mentions.

Plus, like Nitmik's sister, I found they simply couldn't keep up with me and they didn't have the same interests or sense of humor. Those are the small things - glue - that help maintain a sense of intimacy in a relationship over the long haul. And, they were simply at a different place in their lives than I was due to the "generation gap" thing.

An interesting thing I've found when I was doing the yahoo personals last year is that men typically aren't interested in women that are older than they are - most want someone maybe up to their age or a few years below. So, I'm 39 and some 36 y.o. isn't interested in me because I'm 3 years older? Hell, we would have been in high school together!

Admittedly, I'm not terribly interested in men younger than mid 30's. Older men (my boyfriend is 46 - probably the upper age limit for me) are usually more emotionally mature and stable and have gotten all the game playing and other baggage out of their systems. Most of them either have kids and they are hopefully old enough to be out of the picture, living with the ex, or they know they don't want kids, which is even better.

My roommate (38) says that most of the women in our area are single moms looking for a meal ticket and daddy. Like me, he doesn't have any interest in having kids or being a stepparent, so that leaves serious slim pickins'.

For me, it is still a challenge to find a guy that can keep up with me, regardless of his age. I am really into backpacking, hiking and trail running and I intend to keep doing it until my body falls apart , and most men 10+ years older than me are more interested in sitting around in front of the TV while their guts expand. I was lucky to find Wayne - he was already an avid hiker and backpacker and now that I've worked my charms on him, he's turned onto trail running.

SJ

[Iceaxe]

I'm 9 years older then my hot young stripper wife.... and I'm loving every minute of it

[DirkHammergate]

I'm 9 years older then my hot young stripper wife.... and I'm loving every minute of it

Where does she work? I probably know her.

[LJ]

When I was 25 or so I dated a guy who was 21 and I swore I would never date another younger man. He drove me nuts. A year later I dated a guy 12 years old and same thing - drove me buts. Couldn't find much in common with either so decided to stick to guys my own age. Now that I am in my late 30's I've opened it up a bit to 5 years either way and it seems to work out well. Maybe as I get older a larger age gap won't seem as extreme but then I'll be way old and any guy in his 50's would never be able to keep up! Guess I'll have to look for the younger guys!

btw - hitting 40 is freaking me out. Is it that bad? It just sounds bad, right. 40 is the new 30?

[savanna3313]

When I was 25 or so I dated a guy who was 21 and I swore I would never date another younger man. He drove me nuts. A year later I dated a guy 12 years old and same thing - drove me buts. Couldn't find much in common with either so decided to stick to guys my own age. Now that I am in my late 30's I've opened it up a bit to 5 years either way and it seems to work out well. Maybe as I get older a larger age gap won't seem as extreme but then I'll be way old and any guy in his 50's would never be able to keep up! Guess I'll have to look for the younger guys!

btw - hitting 40 is freaking me out. Is it that bad? It just sounds bad, right. 40 is the new 30?

Yes - that is correct. 40 is the new 30......50 is the new 40 etc....etc.......

My ex husband was almost 13 yrs older than me when we got married (I was 19 and naive and dumb dumb dumb) I've decided that if I should ever remarry, the next one will be younger. That way he can bury me instead of the other way around.

[canyonphile]

won't seem as extreme but then I'll be way old and any guy in his 50's would never be able to keep up! Guess I'll have to look for the younger guys!

I dunno....here's a picture of the guy I did my Thanksgiving backpacking trip with - Ed. He's 50 - he doesn't look it, and heaven knows he doesn't act it (e.g. - the rabbit ears). He had no problem keeping up with me on this trip (photo taken at Hermit rapids the Saturday of TG weekend). He can't find any women his own age that can keep up with him! He also has just about the best body I have ever seen on a man - you can't see that in this pic....trust me on this He ages very well.

btw - hitting 40 is freaking me out. Is it that bad? It just sounds bad, right. 40 is the new 30?

I turn 40 in June, and I am actually not bothered by it. I will be more bothered when my body really starts going to shit, which, thankfully, it hasn't yet.

When do you turn 40, LJ? I may actually be in Zion on or near my birthday (the bf and I are trying to figure out our summer travel plans), so we may end up ringing in my passing into the 5th decade of my life at one of the local establishments in Springdale.


SJ

[Udink]

Yes - that is correct. 40 is the new 30......50 is the new 40 etc....etc.......

Excellent! When I turn 30 this year, I'll party like it's the new 21!

[canyonphile]

Excellent! When I turn 30 this year, I'll party like it's the new 21!

Awww....you're just a baby!

SJ

[Sombeech]

When I turn 30 this year, I'll party like it's the new 21!

When I turn 30 in two weeks, I'm making sure I'm on a bike. I kinda scheduled our St George bike trip over my birthday on purpose, but it was also the only weekend that would work.

I just want to bring in my next decade with a youthful outdoors trip.

[Udink]

When I turn 30 in two weeks, I'm making sure I'm on a bike. I kinda scheduled our St George bike trip over my birthday on purpose, but it was also the only weekend that would work.

I just want to bring in my next decade with a youthful outdoors trip.

I'll probably do something similar. Thinkin' about trying to find 30 geocaches on my 30th, and on the 30th of August, no less. I'll save the partying for the weekend.

[donny h]

A year later I dated a guy 12 years old and same thing - drove me buts.

You're some sort of pervert.

[BrainDamage]

I didn't know how old every one around here is, I feel like just some young punk kid at 23, wait a minute,, I am.

[tatwood]

Hey I'm with you G.G., I'm only 24. For you older guys, I guess you're only as old as you think you are.

[DirkHammergate]

A year later I dated a guy 12 years old and same thing - drove me buts.

You're some sort of pervert.

I think I'll give her the benefit of the doubt by saying she dated a guy 12 years older. Funny though.

[LJ]

A year later I dated a guy 12 years old and same thing - drove me buts.

You're some sort of pervert.

I think I'll give her the benefit of the doubt by saying she dated a guy 12 years older. Funny though.

Yeah that's what I meant "OLDER"> jeesh I need to quit drinking when I post on this board.

[donny h]

Yeah that's what I meant "OLDER"> jeesh I need to quit drinking when I post on this board.

Just yanking your chain, classic typo though.

Quit drinking? Sounds pretty drastic.

[LJ]

Yeah that's what I meant "OLDER"> jeesh I need to quit drinking when I post on this board.

Just yanking your chain, classic typo though.

Quit drinking? Sounds pretty drastic.

Desperate times take desperate measures! Actually wasn't drinking just can't type and hate proofreading. I like the "drove me buts" part too.

Going to try your shrimp recipe tonight while watching "Grizzly Man". Seafood sounds really good right now.

[Iceaxe]

drove me buts.

It was the Freudian slip that had me laughing.....

Newlywed Host: "Where is the strangest place you have ever made whoopie?"

Female Contestant: "Bob, That would be in the butt."

Classic bloopers clip...