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Thread: College Football Smack!!!

  1. #1

    College Football Smack!!!

    College football rules..... lets hear some of your best smack.

    And to start it off.....

    A woman was walking through her new house with the contractor. As they walked through rooms, she told him what color she wanted him to paint each room. In the bedroom she said, "I think this would be nice in a cream." The contractor stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "GREEN SIDE UP!" This perplexed the woman. They moved to the living room and she said, " I would love rose in this area." Again the contractor strolled over to the window and yelled, "GREEN SIDE UP!" Again the woman was confused but did not say anything. As they walked into the kitchen she proudly announced that she wanted this room to be, " a glorious shade of mauve." Once again the contractor went to the window and yelled,"GREEN SIDE UP!" Finally she could not stand this anymore. "What are you shouting GREEN SIDE UP out every window of this house?" He replied,"I'm sorry. I have a crew of BYU students laying sod across the street."

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  3. #2
    Yeah I have heard them all. How does everyone think the U will do this week against TCU? I think is should be a good match up. What IS a crock of SH*T is that OU is in the top 25. They played TCU at home and lost. Then they played Tulsa at home and barley got by. WTF.... Why are they even ranked? The Utes finished #4 last year and they cant get in. Not that they deserve to be in. But OU should definitely not be in. They SUCK!!!!

    Oh yeah and who was that team that the kitties played last week? Illinois high school. They should have at least hung a 60 on those clowns.

  4. #3
    I'm pretty sure I have some you have never heard before

    Q: Why is it that the BYU football team doesn't have a web site?
    A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

    Q: What happens when you drive slowly through Provo?
    A: You get a degree.

    Q: Why do BYU grads hang their diplomas on their rear view mirrors?
    A: They have to show some proof that they deserve to park in that handicap parking space.

    Q: Why don't the Cougers have ice on the sidelines during their games?
    A: The guy with the recipe graduated.

    Q: What's the difference between the BYU Cougers and Frosted Flakes?
    A: Frosted Flakes eventually make it into a bowl.

    Todays Salt lake Trib said the Cougers played Cottonwood Highs JV team last weekend

  5. #4
    Q: Do you know why the BYU football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?
    A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

    Q: What's the difference between a litter of puppies and BYU fans?
    A: Eventually the puppies grow up and quit whining.

    Q: Why do BYU football players cry after sex?
    A: Mace.

    Q: How do you get a BYU fan to stop whacking off?
    A: Paint it crimson and they can't beat it for five years.

    A group of BYU Cougars strut into the ice cream parlor chanting "51 days! 51 Days!" They're high-fiving and slapping each other on the back. The soda jerk says, "What'll it be?" to the head Cougar. Head Cougar yells, "Banana Splits! We're celebrating! 51 days! 51 days!" soda jerk asks, "What exactly is with this '51 days?' " Head Cougar answers, "We bought a puzzle marked from '3 to 5 years' and we finished it in 51 days!!! Whoo-hoo!!! 51 days! 51 days!"

    A BYU football player was almost killed in a tragic horseback riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Thank God the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged it.

  6. #5
    Damn! Those are harsh! I wonder what Benny will say when/if he ever shows his face around here again?

    I agree about who they played last week though. Why don't the Utes ever get to play high school teams?

    TCU vs. Utah is gonna be a dogfight. Any predictions?

    I think the Utes will lose by 3.

    • Toilet paper won't save you from Covid-19.

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