The corporate lifestyle

**Sombeech** · 08-30-2005, 10:18 PM

Well, it's official. I've got another job. I'm doing the same line of work, but I don't have to listen to corporate jacka$$es kiss each others' butts. I'm working for a privately owned company now that doesn't pay someone to look up stats all day.

For some reason, I can't get the movie "Office Space" out of my head. Great flick by the way, it'll convince you to quit your current job.

Below are some funny sound bites from Office Space, phrases which I've actually heard working for this company.
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**Sponsored Link** · 08-30-2005 10:18 PM

**accadacca** · 08-30-2005, 10:23 PM

Now you need to give the low down. How this all went down and what the video is all about.

Good stuff!

Congrats on your new gig.

**Sombeech** · 08-30-2005, 10:41 PM

Good point. I'll let you guys in on it.

See the video above? 3 weeks ago, the CEO's came out with this ridiculous, boring video showing how the company is so great, rambling on about the mission statement,

A 16 minute waste of every employee's time.

Time is money, right? Well anyways, to liven it up a bit, I made my own version of it, and added clips from Tommy Boy, Austin Powers, Office Space, and Seinfeld.

I sent it out to 7 people, that's right, 7 people, and two days later I get a call from the red head guy in the video.

He's the head CEO, or whatever title they make up for themselves now. We've got 900 stores, and 13,000 employees. Somehow, my video went nation wide, from Portland OR, to back east, to Florida, to California. It was hot baby!!!

Anyways, he called me and was disappointed in how I was "tainting" the mission statement, and all this crap.

I swear, they've got that mission statement embroidered on their pillows.

Why does an email spread that quick? One answer...It's freakin' funny!

Well, long story short, I'm with another company now. They've made me a martyr, and I can now put this sucker on the world wide web.

I don't support CEO worship.

More versions to come, stay tuned.

**Shan** · 08-31-2005, 08:37 AM

Congratulations on your new job! What do you do?

**rockgremlin** · 08-31-2005, 09:10 AM

Dude! You're my new HERO!!!

That's awesome! Did you publicly announce your martyrdom? You should. It would make the video that much funnier.

Way to stick it to the man...and just in time for labor day!

**accadacca** · 08-31-2005, 09:15 AM

CLASSIC!!!!

**Sombeech** · 08-31-2005, 09:28 AM

Originally Posted by rockgremlin

Dude! You're my new HERO!!!

That's awesome! Did you publicly announce your martyrdom? You should. It would make the video that much funnier.

Way to stick it to the man...and just in time for labor day!

Thanks. You know, the funny thing is, this video only got more popular when they found out I was in hot water with the CEO. I originally sent it out just once, and didn't expect much from it but a quick laugh. Now every one of the 13,000 employees wants to see the infamous video.

Now all of our customers know about it, and all of the competition. It's just making my old employers look like idiots.

I'm still in the same line of work, so I'll have many of the same customers. I'll just bring them with me.

Originally Posted by Shan

Congratulations on your new job! What do you do?

I sell Toilets!

**accadacca** · 09-01-2005, 02:23 PM

What are you doing until you start the new job. Your wife got you cleaning the house and doing the laundry?

Did you have to take some sort of toilet quiz to get the gig. Blind fold test or by hearing the flush?

**Sombeech** · 09-01-2005, 02:36 PM

I've got my class 4 toilet certification already, so no further testing was needed.

I've actually been pretty busy. I just finalized registration for my last semester in school, also been busy getting my clearance for graduation.

I had an EGD done (stomach scope), and today my wife had an operation also. I haven't even had time to mow the lawn yet this week.

But, it's been a great little vacation away from work. I start tuesday, right after Labor Day vacation. This gave me a chance to really catch up on things, help my bro build his home, and hit a bike ride.

**rabiddog** · 09-05-2005, 09:30 AM

way to stick it to the man bro!

Superriffic S* · 09-07-2005, 08:29 AM

Hey, is there a place where we can watch this illusive video in full?

**Sombeech** · 09-07-2005, 09:18 PM

Originally Posted by Superriffic S*

Hey, is there a place where we can watch this illusive video in full?

Do you mean the original, before I did my special additives?

It's 32MB, and VERY BORING

All I did was take a few seconds of this lllllloooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggg 16 minute video, and crop it up like so.

I do have the original 32MB video though, but it's stupid. The only reason anybody would want to watch it would be to see what it was originally.

Maybe I'll cut up a few clips from the original, and post it, but there's a large BORING label of warning on the front cover.

**Sombeech** · 10-26-2005, 05:15 PM

Just an update on the job situation.

Making that video was the best career move I've ever made. I've been working for a competitor now for 2 months. They just told me that in four weeks, I will be Operations Manager for THE WHOLE COMPANY. That's right, not just one store, but 3.

I will be managing the data files, system stats, inventory management, and the other bits and pieces that make up Op's management.

Plus, the job is in Ogden, instead of driving down to SLC everyday.

I'm gonna watch Office Space tonight and laugh my butt off.

**rockgremlin** · 10-26-2005, 08:24 PM

Moral of the story: Never be afraid to stick it to the man!

DickHead · 10-26-2005, 08:25 PM

Dude, I work for the gubmn't. I feel your pain.

Speaking of management, anyone notice my new avatar?

**Sombeech** · 10-26-2005, 08:35 PM

Originally Posted by JamisJockey

Speaking of management, anyone notice my new avatar?

Yes, not only are you a piece of crap, but a pile!

**accadacca** · 10-26-2005, 08:41 PM

Originally Posted by Sombeech

Originally Posted by JamisJockey

Speaking of management, anyone notice my new avatar?

Yes, not only are you a piece of crap, but a pile!

Nice!!

**accadacca** · 10-26-2005, 08:46 PM

Congrats on you promotion BTW.

**Sombeech** · 10-26-2005, 08:50 PM

Thank ya.

You know what I've been thinking of doing? You know those formal "thank you" cards, the ones with roses and stuff on the cover, nice writing in silver font...

I've been thinking of filling one of those out and sending it to my ex-boss, thanking him for letting me get a better job, better location, and better pay. I just don't know how else to thank him for what he's done for me!

Would chocolates be too much?

**accadacca** · 10-27-2005, 12:12 PM

Originally Posted by Sombeech

Thank ya.

You know what I've been thinking of doing? You know those formal "thank you" cards, the ones with roses and stuff on the cover, nice writing in silver font...

I've been thinking of filling one of those out and sending it to my ex-boss, thanking him for letting me get a better job, better location, and better pay. I just don't know how else to thank him for what he's done for me!

Would chocolates be too much?

That would be AWSOME!!!! Draft it up and show it on here.......

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