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OMG that's pathetic. This is the apex of human evolution...we can't cure cancer, we can't guarantee that you'll live past 75, but we can make sure you croak with a raging hard on.

We deserve to go...

Speaking from experience, this is true. Just be really nice to them and everything is fine...but, toss in a couple cats and some health issues and all bets are off.

This is probably the toughest...

Hah! If it were my kid, she'd say "Wake up, Jerkoff!".

Whoa!...you put considerably more effort into it than I did. Pretty clever.

No wonder I ended up painting houses for a living.

Sometimes you could really make out what was goin’ on. I became pretty good adjusting the vertical and horizontal knobs.

FAIL...it's mounted on a Dodge.

No problem, dude. I'm gonna talk my way out of it, though.

A long know client of mine is a freelance cameraman. He's really good...gone half the year all over the world.

He's been to a lot of Trump rallies. He's pretty liberal and describes them as freak...

Hey man...that actually looks nice. I live in a condo and am surrounded by bitter old cat lady hags.

Saw this at the paint store today...


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I'd say the bad news is that they'll miss the experience of having your face mollywholloped with bodacious ta-tas.

Oh man, that's gnarly. Reminds me of a book I thumbed thru written by Chelsea Handler...she described a whole bunch of one night stands she had before becoming famous, each chapter was a different...

"The Ant and the Grasshopper"...look that one up if you're not familiar with it. Somebody dreamed that up like, 4000 years ago?

To me, Bernie is like the lawyer for the grasshopper.

A move like that should be called a "Smollett".

I've always described it as "One mans trash is another mans treasure".

That's why it's easy for me to get along with my liberal, whacky friends...with their fantasy ideas and the absolute stupid...

That might actually work...with a fresh shave.

My grandfather was a house painter and when I first started working with him as a young teenager, he told me to run to the van and get the “paint stretcher”. I didn’t fall for it, but apparently my...

This was in a house I worked on the other day. I said "Hey, that looks like Bernie taking up a collection" and my client busted up laughing. Sorry Kurt, but kept the credit for that one to myself!
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I love it that there's three monkeys in the friggin' truck. My face hurts I just laughed so much!

Well that there is the closest thing to porn that I've ever seen on this site. Please don't put stuff like that up anymore...it's makes me sad.

"What a drag it is getting old".

Oh God! How can I forget Joe Walsh? It's too bad they can't convince Don Felder to play with them. He's living in Las Vegas doing Eagles hits in lounges. I saw that recently on Sammy Hagar's Road...

The Eagles played here the other night. You know what's left of them? Don Henley and that dude who played bass on The Long Run.

That space between the balls and butthole is called "The Gooch".

I learned that from Jackass...when they were hitting themselves there with a 120V shock.

Funny thing about this...the women who accused Bill Clinton were called sluts, trailer trash, etc, yet a woman who comes comes out against Trump who makes a living smiling for the camera as she's...