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Fred is in trouble.

He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told
him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes
from 0 to 200 in less then 6...

:roflol: :five: good one!

One night, after the couple had retired for the night,

The women became aware that her husband was

Touching her in a most unusual manner. He started

By running his hand across her...

You might be a "Utahn" if.......

You keep your clothes in "ChesterDrawers"

You don't pronounce T's in the middle of words. (Moun'n, Lay'n)

If there is a G at the end of a word you treat...

Cowboy Whisperer:

A Cowboy meets an Indian herding sheep in the Black Hills.

Cowboy: "Nice dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"

Indian: "Dog no talk."

Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's...

A blonde and a brunette are skydiving.

The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens.

She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.

The blonde finally jumps out of...

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a...

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no water in sight.

The blonde angrily pulled her...

:roflol: :roflol: :haha: good one!

:lol8: :five: good one!

:toofunny: :naughty: :five:

:roflol:

:roflol: :roflol: :2thumbs:

Old Cowboy


An old cowboy sat down at Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you...

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains at the same university.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made...

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at...

THE LOVE DRESS........
A mother stopped by unannounced at her son, Justin's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law laying on the...

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly...

If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas , you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook Off...

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.
...

Hillary Clinton was out jogging one morning along the Parkway when she tripped, fell over the bridge railing and Landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could Get to her, 3 kids who...

An airplane is about to crash; there are 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes.

The first passenger says, "I am Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player. I can't afford to die." So he...

TICK WARNING!

I hate it when people forward bogus warnings, and I have even done
it myself a couple times unintentionally... but this one is real, and
it's important. So please send this...

The guys were all at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole...

Don't Fart in Bed

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.

The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he...