A man in a California Supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young assistant tells him they only sell whole heads. The man persists and asks to see the manager.
The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.
Walking into the back room the boy says to the manager, "Some ass*&^% wants to buy half a head of lettuce", as he finishes his sentence, he turns to see the man standing right behind him, so he adds "and THIS gentleman offered to buy the other half".
The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.
Later, the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed by the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who can think on their feet. Where are you from son?"
"Canada, Sir" replied the boy.
"Well why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked.
"Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there", said the boy.
"Really" said the manager, "My wife is from Canada".
"No *hit" said the boy, "who'd she play for?"