Walking into a Bar jokes. I'll start, you add...

I'll start, you add.

Polar bear walks into a bar. "I'll have a gin and ......................... tonic please".
"Sure" says the barman "But why the big pause?"

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"


Corny, yes, but that I never tire of that one.

Mushroom walks into a bar. Bar keep says "get lost, we don't serve your kind here."

Mushroom says "why not? I'm a fungi".

Three canyoneers walk into a bar. Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

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A rope walked into a bar and the bar keep says we don't serve your kind so the rope leaves. He then ties himself into a knot and frays his ends. He returns to the bar and the bar keeps says. Aren't you a rope. The rope says, no I'm a frayed knot.

Jesus walks into a bar and says "I'll just have a glass of water".

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What do you call a Bohemian that got thrown out of the bar?

A bounced Czech.

(Ok.....technically he didn't walk into the bar, he was already there....)

An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his
mobile phone. He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his wife
has just produced a typical Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at25 pounds, but the man just shrugs, "That's about averageup our way, folks...likeI said - my boy's a typical Tipperrary baby boy."

Two weeks later the man returns to the bar. Thebartender says, "Say,
you're the father of that typical Irish baby that weighed 25 pounds at
birth, aren't you? Everybody's been makin' bets about how big he'd be in two weeks ... so how much does he weigh now?" The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds".
The bartender is puzzled and concerned. "What happened? He was 25 pounds the day
he was born." The father takes a slow swig of his Jameson Irish Whisky, wipes his
lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says.... "We had him circumcised!"