Truth...
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Parenting done right....
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Climb-Utah.com
Uncle Rico is a vegetarian in real life. MOST people don't know this since he's chomping steak in several scenes in Napoleon Dynamite. But he gets around this by discreetly spitting out the meat.Quote:
Originally Posted by accadacca
Check this scene out at 0:31 seconds he spits out that wad of steak he was chewing on, and quickly palms it backwards onto the plate sitting beside him. It happens so fast you almost don't even realize he did it.
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Climb-Utah.com
55 years ago...
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Climb-Utah.com
Hahaha https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...82350f5df0.jpg
Climb-Utah.com
I'm a stripper...
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Climb-Utah.com
:-)
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Climb-Utah.com
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Eggs...yum. That’s fits me pretty well.
As a trucker stops at a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde's car. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's Winter in Utah and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"
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Climb-Utah.com
They're just so much damn fun. Suitable for any man, really.
Too bad they have to wade thru so many sloppy weirdos.
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Lol. They are running them before Thanksgiving, on the other side of Christmas in my hood.Quote:
Originally Posted by caverdan
I run them Thanksgiving to the New Year. Then they go off.
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Climb-Utah.com
Women are like cars.... you pick the best looking one with the lowest mileage.
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Climb-Utah.com
Have you been everywhere?
"I've Been Everywhere"
I was totin' my pack along the dusty Winnemucca road,
When along came a semi with a high and canvas-covered load.
"If you're goin' to Winnemucca, Mack, with me you can ride."
And so I climbed into the cab and then I settled down inside.
He asked me if I'd seen a road with so much dust and sand.
And I said, "Listen, I've traveled every road in this here land!"
I've been everywhere, man.
I've been everywhere, man.
Crossed the desert's bare, man.
I've breathed the mountain air, man.
Of travel I've a-had my share, man.
I've been everywhere.
I've been to
Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota,
Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota,
Wichita, Tulsa, Ottawa, Oklahoma,
Tampa, Panama, Mattawa, La Paloma,
Bangor, Baltimore, Salvador, Amarillo,
Tocopilla, Barranquilla, and Padilla, I'm a killer.
I've been everywhere, man.
I've been everywhere, man.
Crossed the desert's bare, man.
I've breathed the mountain air, man.
Of travel I've a-had my share, man.
I've been everywhere.
I've been to
Boston, Charleston, Dayton, Louisiana,
Washington, Houston, Kingston, Texarkana,
Monterey, Faraday, Santa Fe, Tallapoosa,
Glen Rock, Black Rock, Little Rock, Oskaloosa,
Tennessee to Hennessey, Chicopee, Spirit Lake,
Grand Lake, Devil's Lake, Crater Lake, for Pete's sake.
I've been everywhere, man.
I've been everywhere, man.
Crossed the desert's bare, man.
I've breathed the mountain air, man.
Of travel I've a-had my share, man.
I've been everywhere.
I've been to
Louisville, Nashville, Knoxville, Ombabika,
Schefferville, Jacksonville, Waterville, Costa Rica,
Pittsfield, Springfield, Bakersfield, Shreveport,
Hackensack, Cadillac, Fond du Lac, Davenport,
Idaho, Jellico, Argentina, Diamantina,
Pasadena, Catalina, see what I mean-a.
I've been everywhere, man.
I've been everywhere, man.
Crossed the desert's bare, man.
I've breathed the mountain air, man.
Of travel I've a-had my share, man.
I've been everywhere.
I've been to
Pittsburgh, Parkersburg, Gravelbourg, Colorado,
Ellensburg, Rexburg, Vicksburg, El Dorado,
Larimore, Admore, Haverstraw, Chatanika,
Chaska, Nebraska, Alaska, Opelika,
Baraboo, Waterloo, Kalamazoo, Kansas City,
Sioux City, Cedar City, Dodge City, what a pity.
I've been everywhere, man.
I've been everywhere, man.
Crossed the desert's bare, man.
I've breathed the mountain air, man.
Of travel I've a-had my share, man.
I've been everywhere.
I've been everywhere.
^^^^beats me--I went to Cedar City once, though....
That post is why bogley should have to post a breathalyzer before you are allowed to post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iceaxe
Hell, you'd never post again if that were the case. :haha:
Yeah man...talk about the kettle calling the pot black.
Considering the fact that I'm currently sitting in a Mexican bar after drinking all day I'll second that...
April 15, 1998
New York
I passed the Black Israelites on 7th Ave and 50th Street this afternoon. These are the people who wear outlandish robes and talk about how much Jesus hated white people. I was walking along, minding my own business, when the guy with the microphone called me a cracker ******.
David Sedaris, Theft by Finding Diaries (1977-2002)
Black people that think they're Jews and hate whites? Have these people absolutely nothing better to do with themselves? What a miserable way to go thru life!Quote:
Originally Posted by erial
Count your lucky stars that you're not one of these folks that's all torqued over one thing or another.
helter skelter
^^^ You still in Mexico or did they deport you?
We had to leave Mexico after the hot young stripper wife got us tossed out of a Mexican bar... and that's a true story... only thing I really haven't figured out is how in the hell do you get tossed out of a Mexican bar?Quote:
Originally Posted by rockgremlin
They told her $20 for all she could drink and then when they tried to cut her off because she was drinking all their profits she went all "Stripper Wife" on them... among my friends "going Stripper Wife" is now the term they use when the little blonde gringo chick kicks the bouncers ass... hahaha... I tried to tell the bouncer he didn't want the mess with her but he either didn't believe me... or my Spanish just sucks and I ask him if his sister was the star of the donkey show... who knows.... Mexico is a strange place...
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