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I found a severed ear in my mailbox this morning.
It was wrapped in a paper towel that had '9AM' written in blood on it.
Does anyone know who this ear belongs to??
Sounds like junk mail
It's mine. The wife took it literally when I said I'd give my left ear in order to do West Canyon on Mother's Day.Quote:
I found a severed ear in my mailbox this morning.
It was wrapped in a paper towel that had '9AM' written in blood on it.
Does anyone know who this ear belongs to??
Still waiting on this beta
Attachment 86897Quote:
Originally Posted by badwobot
That's ear mail, not to be confused with air mail and never confused with junk mail. Junk mail would only sorta look like ear mail if you were expanding the definition of packages to include boxes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sombeech
:roflol:Quote:
Originally Posted by diesel
Where has our little troll gone? I'm anxiously awaiting another sassy accusation.
Sometimes it's best to fade away, rather than risk further embarrassment
Sorry to leave ya’ll hangin, I was out exploring in Zion. I found a wicked slot right at the top of the tunnel. You won’t even believe it, like 2 minutes down the hill from the parking lot. Apparently I’m not the first one through as there were already bolts but I’m just psyched because I get NAMING RIGHTS!!! I did a quick search around to see if it’s been named but I’m mostly illiterate and refuse to acknowledge the website that questionably posted the info, so I’m going to have a big unveiling party of the name, right here on this thread.
I was going to release a dramatic video with wicked sweet background music and interviews of all the participants at the end to copy what some other dudes did when they did Poe but then I realized that’s already been done. Plus I severely injured my clavicle on the hike out. Brutal! I had so much exploration gear in my pack, I’m just going to try putting some gorilla tape on and toughing through for the other explorations I’ve got planned. Rest assured though, I was having a wicked good time and no one can ever take that away from me. Not ever, ever, ever.
Sorry, that was a little tangent, let me get back to the point of my post, to show you guys how awesome I am. I know, some of you have never been in a canyon with me, but I need you to know that I am a great canyoneer and explorer. You’ll be seeing a lot more of me around here as I plan on posting trip reports of every canyon I do because I’m obsessive compulsive and the only real satisfaction I get in life is building up my internet persona. Most importantly, I’m posting this for the betterment of not only the canyon community but for society in general. I mean, by posting this info I am potentially saving lives. Dang I’m important.
Alright, I’ve built the suspense enough. I was going to just write 1 word per day over multiple posts, but even I can’t wait to read my own post over and over again. I love the naming theme that’s been established and when I think of Zion I think of Sesame Street. So, I am naming this exquisite canyon- Big Bird Canyon.
I’ll throw out an invite to all those who want to live on the edge and explore with me, my next target is a super-secret slot below Mount Spry that I’m calling Mr Snuffleupagus. I got a map of Zion and named all the places that look like slot canyons way back in ’79 and now I’m out to conquer them. I’ve got some great names- Elmo, Cookie Monster, Bert & Ernie, Grover, and of course Oscar the Grouch. If any of you have done any canyons in Zion before, just wait for my trip reports and adjust the names of your photo albums accordingly.
The First Amendment is the coolest, isn’t it?Quote:
Originally Posted by StalkingMan
You know, I’ve given that some serious thought. There IS a time-honored tradition of…Quote:
Originally Posted by StalkingMan
*scratches my nose*
Hold on… I've gotta sneeze…
http://img.pandawhale.com/57080-Show...aah-A-y3NC.gif
Whoa! Pardon me! Sorry to get that all over you and the way that you do things.
Now I've gone and lost my train of thought. What was I saying?
Maybe I’m remembering wrong, but I’m pretty sure Kevin said, “If you build it, they will come.”Quote:
Originally Posted by StalkingMan
Hey, by the way, how is your ear hole healing up? If a breeze blows across it just right, does it make a ‘whoo whoo’ sound, like when you blow across the top of a beer bottle?
Yeah, you’re God damn right kid! Good for you! Fun is what canyoneering is all about! :five:Quote:
Originally Posted by StalkingMan
Apparently not in this case. I like his avatar, though.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sombeech
Hmmm, I'd have to give a slight edge to WalkingMan on this latest exchange. Machine lacked the creativity that he's normally famous for, and I'm awarding bonus points to WalkingMan for his hilarious Sesame Street naming convention. And I really hope he publishes beta for Big Bird...it sounds like a really cool slot!
:popcorn::popcorn::popcorn:
X2. Yeah! His post was actually quite funny in spite of the ad hominem.Quote:
Originally Posted by rockgremlin
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Can somebody clue me in as to who it was that "originally" named these canyons? I know Kelsey assigned the Upper West Slot...I'm talking about the other ones. Were they published?
In other words, who's toes are getting stepped on?
So if somebody descends a canyon first, gives it a name, but doesn't publish the name outside his group of friends, what happens when somebody else descends it, gives it another name, and then publishes the name?
What would happen if we decided to name a canyon "WeberStateWildcatsCanyon" for 10 years, and then somebody stumbles upon an old journal from 200 years ago, naming it "CougarTown"?
Just curious.
No matter how much crying and whining some do there are really no rules for naming canyons. In my experience the canyon often becomes known by the name it was popularized under, provided it is a reasonable and fitting name.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sombeech
A couple items of interest is I've noticed that crude, vulgar or stupid names seldom stick and are often quickly replaced by more palettable names by the general public.
Some try to use the name given to the canyon by the first to descend it but that often turns into a quagmire as first descents are really seldom first descents as there was always someone before you.
Some try to use the name of first published descent, which works a little better but still is not guaranteed.
As someone who has named several dozen of the popular canyoneering routes I can give the following advise if you want your name excepted. Come up with a name that fits the route or has a great back story to go with the route. Popularize the route itself by publishing beta and pictures. If it's a canyon complex themes work well and often stick.
There is some prestige and a modest amount of satisfaction that goes with a route becoming known under a name you hung on it, which is basically what this little pissing match is all about.
The two sides have now both presented their case and in 10 years we will all know how the canyoneering public voted :-).
One other item of interest is it's not unknown for canyoneering routes to change names over time for various reason. Keyhole in Zion is the best example I can think of as it was well known under the name Star Fish for a long time before morphing into Keyhole. I've always assume the reason for that was Keyhole was just a better and more exciting name.
This is about me being too lazy to use other people's names. Since I'm going to write about them, then I'll call them by the names I've been using for the past 18 months. I could not care less about what other people call them. I wish there was a way that I could quantify my apathy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Iceaxe
How about Utah-Jazz-offense-in-game-six-of-the-western-conference-playoffs apathetic?Quote:
Originally Posted by Slot Machine
Not sure if you could define a higher level of apathy than that.
28-3AtlantaFalcons.... for the win.
That seems to be true with "Klaidescope" which is now Choprock Canyon and "Edge of the Earth" which is now Neon canyon.Quote:
Originally Posted by Iceaxe
I went to the "Gorging" premiere a few years back and remember Turville wanting Neon Canyon to be reverted back to "Edge of the Earth"...which hasn't happened.
Ironically, he's the same guy who refused to get involved with the Internet forums and the like.
The same will be with these Powell canyons.
ParapalegicMan says that these have been published before (which they really haven't...) and now with Bob publishing the beta (in the upcoming weeks), the worldwide web will now be referring them to his cat names and not "Amnesia" and the like.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Great post. Indeed, as I was out today I considered the same thing...let the chips fall where they may. Especially since I couldn't find anything on these canyons besides the trip reports over at CC.Quote:
Originally Posted by Iceaxe
Now if Kelsy had recently done and named these in an updated slot book, he'd get the nod. He takes precedence because he impressed me nearly 30 years ago. But that's not the case here. It's a free for all, but ya gotta admit Bob has done a damn fine job. Serious detail rules in my book. I look forward to him filling in the beta on the rest of them.
I figure Mr. Walkingman is one of the crew that banged those out a year or two ago. My gut feeling tells me he's not a greenhorn. I wonder if any of the others have shit the shorts because of this? Hey Bob...post those up over at CC...just to see what happens, eh?
Speaking of assigning names, one of Steve Allen's books details the in and outs of the canyons on the east side of the lower Escalante, between Moody and Stevens.
Prima Donna, Fold, Shofar, Hydra, Ichabod and Beryl. He named them himself and explained the reasons for each name. I have no doubt the cowboys and the Navajo had names for them back in the day, as their sheep ladders, walls and campsites can be found in some of them. Allen either didn't consult the locals about them or he didn't care. That was 20 years ago.
Have the names stuck? Hell if I know...I can't recall a single trip report in regards to them. Backpacking and straight up Canyoneering seem to be two different animals. It seems to me that Canyoneering has a bit of a snob factor to it...at least in regards to those with smoke billowing out their ears.
The name Choprock is much older than Kaleidoscope, though perhaps it could be argued that Choprock refers to the main fork.Quote:
That seems to be true with "Klaidescope" which is now Choprock Canyon
I don't know which name is older, but Turville was wrong that Neon is a new name. Neon Canyon was first published in 1988, but it was already a well-used name by then. It is certainly possible that the name Neon is older than Edge of the Earth as neon lighting had its hay day well before that.Quote:
and "Edge of the Earth" which is now Neon canyon.
Much older than either name is Caverns Hollow, but there seems to be some confusion as to if Caverns Hollow refers to Neon or Ringtail.
Does that mean that Sandthrax should revert to Kelsey's name of Mile 28.5 Mile Canyon.:wink:Quote:
Now if Kelsy had recently done and named these in an updated slot book, he'd get the nod. He takes precedence because he impressed me nearly 30 years ago.
Leps are Mile 28.1, Sandthrax is 28.5Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott P
True. I'll edit.Quote:
Originally Posted by TommyBoy
Ah-ha!!! Well exceptions can be made, especially when (like Iceaxe said) the name fits.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott P
I wonder why he didn't put names to those...did you ever talk to him about that? I kinda remember him telling me he would go to lengths to ask around about those things.
Inquiring with locals.
Yes; he says that he doesn't like silly names. That's why his books contain names such as Little North Middle Fork of ___ Canyon.Quote:
I wonder why he didn't put names to those...did you ever talk to him about that?
He actually likes to use local names only and very seldom names from canyoneers.Quote:
I kinda remember him telling me he would go to lengths to ask around about those things.
Yeah, you're right. He'd probably name those other slots in West "Northeast Fork", ect...Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott P
If I were with him on those, I'd suggest "Shingles" or maybe "Palestine" or "63 MPG". How about "Mosquito Death".:lol8:
No I don't. :moses:Quote:
Originally Posted by twotimer
In the name of compromise I think everyone should agree on at least one canyon name...
The Hall of Horrible Porcupines
.....
Why not??? They're detailed with what you'll need with nifty pics. Personally, I'll be happy to run thru one of them knowing what gear I specifically DON'T have to carry. It's better than "These canyons are tough, better bring the full arsenal"...and that's it.Quote:
Originally Posted by ratagonia
To me, assuming that Mr. Walkingman was part of the crew...it's like he's trying to lay claim on the girl because she granted him a dance when some other dude ended up boinking her in the back of his car.
I reckon you think first dibs gets the prize, eh? Especially if you were there? Well, we'll see what sticks. Perhaps put them up on your website?
^^^THIS^^^Quote:
Originally Posted by twotimer
ROFLMAO
please just tell me the car was a jacked up Nova in primer with Creger mags and big ol' meats on the back.
Nope...those were for the rich kids. More like a 1972 Datsun pickup with a topper on the back.Quote:
Originally Posted by Iceaxe
Police officer tapping the window with his flashlight..."You OK in there, Miss?":haha: Ah, the good ole' days...
Would you give him beta knowing how he treats others on the forum and how he treats canyons and other wild areas? Knowing his lack of respect for those who have passed before and his endangerment of access for those who will come later?Quote:
Originally Posted by jman
Prediction: In 10 years no one will be using the cat names. Why not? Because they're dumb names.Quote:
Originally Posted by jman
Yours are being stepped on. And mine. And everyone else who will canyoneer in the years to come who will no longer have the opportunity to do an exploration of these canyons without knowing if or how they've been done before. That's what is being lost here.Quote:
Originally Posted by twotimer
Absolutely not. While many think the names are kind of dumb and that it is very disrespectful to not use the names the first explorers gave them as per convention in climbing and canyoneering for decades once you've been told what they are, that's really not what this is about. This is about prematurely ending the exploration era in an area of Southern Utah that has, up until very recently, been considered to be an area reserved for an exploration ethic. Just like some climbing areas have a "no bolting" ethic, only one of the dozen canyoneering areas in the state had, until very recently, been reserved as an exploration area.Quote:
Originally Posted by Iceaxe
Today, if someone has done many of the hard-core published canyons, they can go to Glen Canyon and explore. Sometimes they'll find signs of previous passage, but most of the time they won't because these explorers adopted a ghosting ethic- no sling, no rope grooves, and certainly no bolts. For the most part these explorers can have the same experience as the first explorers, and it is an awesome experience. I'm sad to think that in 30 years (or maybe 5 if Slot Machine has his way) that this experience will no longer be available. Instead, you'll be able to download an 8 page beta sheet from BlueGnome, complete with GPS points and a description of every turn, drop, and anchor, and it'll be no different than the experience you have in Pine Creek Canyon.
Kind of sad really. Not quite sad enough to start mailing ears, but certainly sad enough to point out to the canyoneering community what is being lost here.
I don't need it. Thanks for finally stopping by to lick my balls.Quote:
Originally Posted by Canyonero
Anyone that wants to go in completely clueless can do one simple thing...don't read anything about it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Canyonero