The Americans With No Abilities Act

[oldno7]

The Americans With No Abilities Act


President Barack Obama and the Democrat-controlled Senate are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates for the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.


"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing."


In a Capitol Hill press conference, Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons With No Ability.


Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the inept include retail sales (72 percent), the airline industry (68 percent), and home-improvement warehouse stores (65 percent). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent).


Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.


Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability (POI) into middle-management positions, and give a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.


Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, "Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?"


[COLOR=#000000][FONT=tahoma]"As a non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to her inability to remember righty tighty, lefty loosey. "This new law should be real good for people like me. I

[rockgremlin]

LOL. Where's your sources? Besides perhaps The Onion...

[Byron]

Funny stuff, man. I recently painted a condo up in the hipster redevelopment of the old Stapleton Airport, it's smack in the middle of the high minority end of town, a place where you hear sirens going off all day and night. For some reason, these "cultural" urban hipster types buy these row townhouses and condos when they downsize away from the suburbs when their kids take off for college. They think it's neat to live "in town"...personally, I don't understand the appeal of living somewhere where divide between rich and poor is so profound...having a nice upscale condo in a ghetto.

Anyway, you can always get the gist of a neighborhood by stopping at the supermarket and paying attention to the people there. I hit the Safeway every morning for a week to buy fruit and a cup of coffee and the place had the feel of a third world country, or shall I say, a majority of minorities. Not that there's anything wrong with that, mind you...

What was remarkable was that when you enter the store (and this is one of those big fancy ones, too) there is the service counter off to the left with a dedicated section for "check services"...the line, everyday, is at least 15 deep. So many that you have to make your way through or around them to get into the store. I was sitting there, each morning, waiting for my Starbucks and looking at all these folks, realizing that they are all net tax receivers. Most of them seemed quite healthy and spry enough to work? The problem it seems, is their race.

This condo that I painted is brand new, and there is heavy construction going on all around it. The one next door, for example, won't be ready for sale for at least another month. There's construction workers everywhere....landscaping, electricians, siding installers, carpet, laborers, cement guys, drywall and other painters, etc...they're almost all Mexicans, or Latin Americans.

Lots of them, all working away. What you don't see are black people...NONE. I've been painting houses for 30 plus years, and I can't recall ever seeing a black guy with a tool belt around his waist. Sometimes one will show up with the appliance delivery, but that's it.

Not trying to be racist here, it's just an observation. Although I wouldn't doubt that some knucklehead is reading this with flames shooting out of their ears. I think it's just a cultural thing....a culture of dependency. Of course, there are exceptions.

I think I'm begging to understand why those of Mexican heritage want a little more respect. They do work, after all.

[rockgremlin]

Oh dear...the race card has been played. I can already foresee this ending up in the Rubbish Bin.

At my last job our best driller was Spanish (from Spain). He was hands down the best worker on site. Never seen someone so dedicated and motivated. He worked alongside another driller with a separate drill rig. The second driller was a white guy -- and he was a lazy, unmotivated sloth. The Spanish dude was well compensated for his dedication and hard work -- in the form of six figures.

[Byron]

It's not a racist thing, dude. I've been working up there more and more in the last few years and I'm the kind of guy that looks around, pays attention. It's just weird seeing all these folks lined up, everyday, engaging in the welfare system when there are all these workers and activity going on all around them. That's all...I see plenty of ability, but a serious lack of motivation. Those standing in the handout line were of one race, those working the busy construction site just a few hundred yards away were another....couldn't help but notice.

And right on for that Spanish dude, it's amazing what just getting up in the morning and getting after it can accomplish. I know, I am, and have been, living it. And I grew up dirt poor and never went back to school after the 8th grade. You don't need to have a college education to get wealthy...you need an attitude, a belief in yourself. Money doesn't grow on trees, you want nice this and nice that, you have to get out there and exchange your labor for it, unless you're content to live on the bottom level of society.

[rockgremlin]

It's not a racist thing, dude.


Well, you and I know that but I'm sure others might misinterpret your meaning. You know those types that just aren't content unless they're out there trying to save the Earth and everything in it.

[Byron]

Yeah, hence my "flames shooting out their ears"...trying to head off the outrage. :angryfire::angryfire::angryfire: But, you know how it goes...maybe everyone will understand, eh? :roll: Good thing Phillip isn't around, he'd be pooping bricks.

[nelsonccc]

I'm an architect and our Company does design and fabrication of themed elements (think pirate ships in vegas, broadway show sets, etc..). Anyways we have a shop work force of about 50-100 people on any given day. By far our smartest and hardest working guys are latino. They're all legal (we diligently check cause it bit us in the ass once) and most of them were born here. The foremen and department heads are making anywhere from 60K to 80K. They generally lean towards hiring latino workers. We try to get them to be diverse and we;ve had some black guys in there. Guess what, every time they get fired for not working hard. It's not a racist thing and I'm sure there are plenty of hard working black people out there. But here is a job that pays $16-19 an hour, with TONS of overtime and we can't get anyone but latinos to apply.

We have what we call the homeless army, we get a benefit break when advertising and hiring people that are receiving state benefits, kind of like people on unemployment have to show that they've been trying to find a job and in some cases they have to take the job they are sent too. So these people come in and simply will not work, they do everything they can to get laid off again. Now granted most of these jobs are standing at the same place all day assembling beads, tightening molds, etc. But we're paying $15 an hour with practically unlimited overtime and we cant keep the positions filled for the 4-6 weeks during the job when we need the massive addition of 30-40 people. The ones that do stay and work hard, usually end up with full time positions, guess what, almost always latino. The white guys do well too but they are not usually in the homeless army since they usually have a defined skill set like welding or painting.

Our last homeless army group was about 20 people deep, 5 black guys, 7 or so white guys, and the rest latinos. Not one of the black guys came back for the second day. This is a job that was 12 hours, 8 hours at $12 and 4 at $18 and they can literally work as many hours a day as they want at time and a half. Double time on weekends. It's only work for a few weeks but we're talking about $800-1000 a bucks a week and they don't do it. Guess why......because it pays too much! If they record income of over $500 a week they lose their state benefits and welfare. This was a few months ago and we kept on the 8 or so latinos that worked every day. Now they are full time employess with benefits and including their overtime usually make more money than me.

Blows my mind.

[rockgremlin]

Not surprised Nelson....it's just human nature to be lazy. Go visit my human nature thread in the rubbish bin to see more proof that human nature will eventually be our downfall.

[Byron]

Hey Nelson, that was an outstanding post. What really chaps my hide is when these politicians ask (take) more and more from the workers to prop these people up, with virtually no checks and balances. I'm all for helping the "poor", but the entitlement system is so completely jacked it's ridiculous. Laziness shouldn't be considered a disability...kinda funny to think of it that way, huh? We're subsidizing laziness....great!

[Bootboy]

We need to realize that the people in charge of all this are most certainly aware of these types situations, and that they have no intention of fixing the problem. The more people on the guh'ment teat, the bigger the voting constituency. I'm afraid we've reached the tipping point, they've got us where they want us. The people who are aware of the bigger picture are now the minority.

At my main job, I make about $25,000 per year. Our lying sack-o-shit president said my taxes wouldn't go up. Well, guess what, after I looked at all the adjustments made to the way my paychecks are taxed, I can count on taking home about $800 less this year, despite my raise. The obvious things like Medicare, FIT, and SS, saw no change for me, it's the obscure little things that ad up, payroll tax, health insurance HSA plan contributions, etc. did they just hope I wouldn't notice? I guess the plan is to make it tough enough for me that I will just throw my hands up, eat shit and die, and go on the dole, then bam! They've won a voter. Maybe I'll stop my quest to further my abilities and join the ranks of the "ANA" crowd.

Fu** me!