Mom punishes kid with hot sauce and cold shower.

[Deathcricket]

This is really hard to watch but I'm going to toss it in the general forum. This is probably the most disturbing thing I have ever seen on the internet and I have seen some messed up stuff. I feel so bad for this kid. But I think as parents we all need to evaluate our discipline procedures. I know I made a mental checklist and thought carefully after watching this. I'm hoping you will do the same. The verbal abuse is really what gets me, look at how much she is in his face and berates him. Look at the emotional damage being done here.

I'm sure if you go back in your mind, you can think of an instance where your parents crossed the line because they were so mad at you. Perhaps you think you deserved it looking back. Don't be that type of parent, now that you are one, break the chain.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIjQ2Num_9w

Also, if we can leave the Mormon factor out of it. The person who sent it to me was really amped up on religion and how it makes people do this. He wanted to vent I guess. I think that is not a factor in the equation and hope you can see that too. We need to focus on the issue of children having a happy childhood regardless of the parents religious orientation. That is all that matters right? An atheist is just as capable of these behaviors.

[Alex]

Holy cow, my blood is boiling now. I feel so bad for the kid. The nazis used this cold shower methods on jews. But your own kid.... wow! Some people should have been aborted.

[Scott Card]

Wow..... :nono: How old was that kid?? 5-6? Sad... Part of me wonders which parent had that happen to them. I honestly have never heard of hot sauce and cold showers as punishments. This is certainly not the most disturbing thing I have heard parents do to kids but there are clearly better ways to get a point across and teach and discipline. I know that I have always taught my kids that home is a safe zone, safe from physical, verbal and mental harm. This included my behavior as a father and how I discipline. My wife and I are even very careful about what kind of teasing goes on. Oh I have a lot to say on this subject but a client is waiting for me......

[accadacca]

That's horrible! :eek2:

[Jaxx]

Poor kid. He is adopted to. I feel so bad for him. No child should be treated that way. Hopefully she got some better tips for disciplining. If you want to see the episode you can buy it for $30!

[DiscGo]

This literally makes me sick. I couldn't even watch all of it.


Before I had kids, I decided that my kids were going to walk a fine line and be disciplined. Since having kids I have decided to instead just make sure my kids know how loved they are. My son has spent about a third of his life in time out :), but I have never yelled at him or caused him physical pain or discomfort for disobeying me.

I would like to have the best behaved kids in the world, but if you are doing something like this it seems like at some point you would ask yourself "At what cost?"

[ilanimaka]

I made it through a minute of it. I'm the first to admit that I've been this upset with my kids from time to time, but upon seeing their faces and how truly upset they are, my heart crumbles & I just wanna hold em and cry. It's truly amazing that people can take thier most valued treasures and treat them like this. :eek2:

[Sombeech]

Poor kid. He is adopted to. I feel so bad for him.

heart breaking. Most parents are able to bond the same with adopted children, but some may not appreciate that connection.

[Reedus]

Guess I am the odd one out here. Don't think it was THAT bad. I was raised old school and witnessed the belt, homemade paddle and good ole out back of the woodshed ass whooping when I misbehaved. It always was followed by a sincere discussion afterwards on why it happened. Todays society would have had both my parents behind bars for child abuse. A cold shower and hot sauce in my opinion didn't inflict physical harm on the child. After 5 minutes, the discomfort would have been gone. Don't get me wrong, I don't condone what she did, I choose different methods that seem to work with my own kids. A little over the edge? Ya, but I wouldn't call it child abuse.

[accadacca]

I just think this kinda thing could make your child really hate you. It could scar your relationship for life and might turn your kid to serious rebellion.

Not for me.. No thanks.

[BruteForce]

The punishment seemed excessive. I was more concerned about the duration of the punishment. She just kept going and going and going. Terrible parenting and if the child is adopted, it makes her behavior even less acceptable. :roll:

[Reedus]

The punishment seemed excessive. I was more concerned about the duration of the punishment. She just kept going and going and going. Terrible parenting and if the child is adopted, it makes her behavior even less acceptable. :roll:

Ya, but he drew not one, not two, but THREE cards!!!:lol8:

[canyonphile]

There was another clip of that same woman in one of the video thumbnails below, and she said that all other disciplinary techniques she's tried (time outs, washing mouth out with soap, etc.) haven't worked. She said that the cold showers/hot sauce were a last resort, I guess, and that when she resorts to them, she is "...at the end of her rope." She said her son is the biggest source of stress in her life. Not that I'm on board with her behavior or anything, but maybe her kid is a little monster and she just doesn't know what else to do. Sounds like she maybe isn't cut out to be a parent.

I was subject to various disciplinary actions as a kid, and y'know what: I figured out really fast that I didn't like being punished, so I avoided behaviors that resulted in spankings, etc. As a result, I was well-behaved [until I hit puberty, that is :twisted: :lol8:]. So, maybe this kid has ADHD or something, and has been incapable of understanding less extreme forms of discipline :ne_nau:?

I'm not a parent, having recognized early on that I lack many qualities it would take to be a decent one, so, I'm not really qualified to comment on whether this is off-the-charts horrible or just over the top (which is what it seems to me). Then again, I was subjected to verbal abuse in my early childhood due to an alcoholic father and later from my mother, so the concept of a cozy, nurtured childhood is foreign to me...and probably a big reason I never wanted kids of my own :wink:.

I bet this kid will grow up to hate his mother, though, and made easier since she's not his birth mother.

BTW, what does "drawing 3 cards at school" mean?

[bbennett]

BTW, what does "drawing 3 cards at school" mean?

If it's anything like my kids school, they have three cards that get pulled for bad behavior during class: Yellow, Red, and Black. Pull a yellow one, no big deal. Pull a red one and you know that you've screwed up and you need to get your act together. Pulling a black card is pretty much the equivalent of getting sent to the principal’s office. Two of my three boys have pulled black more than once.

You have to take a lot of these things with a grain of salt these days. It's not like it was when we were growing up. In my opinion, political correctness is crippling our children’s ability to deal with the real world when they become adults. A school yard fight in elementary school now results in the cops being called. In my day, it was "who threw the first punch?" and "shake hands and get to class". As a society in general, when do we say enough is enough?

I got a call from the principal’s office a few weeks ago telling me that my ten-year-old boy had been brought to the office for sexual harassment. I was absolutely shocked that my ten-year-old was even capable of sexual harassment. I asked them what he did and they told me that he was overheard saying to one of his friends "Remember when so and so got pantsed (spelling?), well you looked and you liked it." To me, this doesn't seem like sexual harassment or even poor behavior for that matter. Am I just so insensitive that I fail to grasp the true meaning of sexual harassment?

I came down to the school, picked my boy up and took him out to lunch since they decided that his comment warranted a suspension for the rest of the day. I certainly didn't discipline him because I didn't think he did anything wrong. I did however discuss with him the importance of thinking before he speaks and to always consider how sensitive other people may be.

I guess that's my long-winded way of saying that you should consider what it was that the kid did to pull cards in class before jumping to conclusions.

As for the video, how can you be so mean to such a small child? That woman keeps a bottle of hot sauce in the bathroom for God's sake! Props to that kid because if I was him, I don't think I could swish hot sauce around in my mouth without spitting into the face of that ugly bitch that was abusing me. A belt to the ass is a lot more humane than what she was doing. I usually have my boys hold the push-up position for about three to five minutes or hold their arms outstretched to the side for about five to eight minutes while we discuss whatever it was that they did. We call it drilling. I got it from my days in the military and I know how uncomfortable it is. Negative reinforcement is an absolute necessity but hot sauce and a cold shower is going way too far.

[tanya]

Of course he acts up. He is so full of negative emotions that he has to vent them somewhere. This is the sort of thing that makes very bad people. He will not just hate his mom when he is older.

I did not have the best childhood. She is an angel next to my mom and my dad I never could decide if he was better or worse than her. People can get over it more or less, but they fight with issues all their lives and are different. Most never see or know those differences because often they can be controlled and hid, but they are there. Some kids that have been abused never even realize they are different and go though life with issues, but they think everyone is like that or its okay.

One reason why I did so well in the Olympic Sport of Judo - it was where I vented.

This is no way to ever treat a child - not for a moment.

The mother is simply sick and the boy needs a new home. Even once he has a new home he now has issues he will have to deal with the rest of his life. He can ignore them, but they are hidden and they control who he will be.



A good book to read to learn about what some kids go through: A child called "It" or something like that. There was a book 2 as well.

[canyonphile]

Of course he acts up. He is so full of negative emotions that he has to vent them somewhere. This is the sort of thing that makes very bad people. He will not just hate his mom when he is older.

I did not have the best childhood. She is an angel next to my mom and my dad I never could decide if he was better or worse than her. People can get over it more or less, but they fight with issues all their lives and are different. Most never see or know those differences because often they can be controlled and hid, but they are there. Some kids that have been abused never even realize they are different and go though life with issues, but they think everyone is like that or its okay.

This is so true, Tanya....sad, but true. And, you're right: many of us were lucky and did manage to get over the unsavory aspects of our childhood, sometimes through therapy and sometimes through lots of introspection. I hope for this kid's sake he's able to do that and not turn all that negative treatment towards others later in life.


One reason why I did so well in the Olympic Sport of Judo - it was where I vented.
I ran track and x-country, lifted weights, and basically became the opposite of my parents. :nod:

[tanya]

Me too in all the ways that matter. :five:




I have 5 kids and have never yelled, or abused them in any way. In fact, I avoid punishment of all kinds and leave that up to their father who is excellent at that sort of thing. Their fathers feeling is give kids freedom until they mess up. I can't remember my girls ever messing up once. I know that sounds hard to believe, but its true. The youngest boy does at times, but punishment is quick, painless and never degrading. The kids have always respected us and never talk back or act up except for the youngest boy who use to really harass his sisters. That has come to an end finally!!! :clap: I really did hate when he would harass them and then they would retaliate, but I think all parents hate when siblings fight with each other.
My oldest boy lives with his wife and kids.