More powerful than sex?

[Thomas]

I don

[Deathcricket]

My 2 cents....

I don't consider love and sex even remotely similar in importance. For me sex is just sex. I have had sex with lots of partners and found some times much more enjoyable than others.

Love however is definitely the most powerful thing on the planet. I hesitate to go into detail about my personal life on the internet, since I actually hang out with people on here and can not remain anonomous but what the hell. I'm going through a very nasty divorce right now and it's one of the toughest things I've ever gone through. there wasn't sexual cheating in our relationship, but I found out my wife has developed a compulsive spending problem and was stealing money from me out of our joint bank account, cashing out stocks, getting credit cards in my name, stuff like that. So in a way, I completely understand what someone having an affair on you would feel like, the betrayal aspect is still there. You trusted them and they betrayed that trust. It hurts like nothing I can describe.

And the emotions are extremely powerful. I'm not an emotional person and self proclaim myself to the epitimey of logic. However, even in this case I've been having to see a counselor 2x a month to evaluate these powerful emotions and keep my actions in check. Usually my actions are never controlled by my emotions. I've never felt anyhting remotely close to what I'm going through at this time. Not deaths in the family, not... Gosh I can't even think of anything that even remotely compares so will refrain from using examples.

So yes, I would say that love is the most powerful thing there is. Think about the love a parent has for their child. I know without a thought I would die for my child if the situation called for it. Wouldn't even pause for a fraction of a second to consider otherwise. Any parent would do the same, that's love.

But sex is just an expression of love to me. Like kissing but more intense. Completely different though. I wouldn't die for someone because I had sex with them, I would die for them because I love them.

[Sombeech]

whoa.

So... I'm always interested in what actually happened. Your wife walked in... did the dude pant up and dive out the window?

And what was the conversation between she and your mother in law like? :eek2:

[hank moon]

Especially "love" of money (aka greed)

[DiscGo]

Is there anything more powerful than sex/love?

Yes, hatred.

It is much easier to hate someone you once loved than it is to love someone you once hated. Not to sound to negative here but in many ways someone can take your love from you. Case in point you love a woman, she cheats on you or does something else to break your trust or deeply hurt you and you feel completely different the next day. If you hate someone, it takes a LOT more to change the way you feel about them.

[savanna3313]

Is there anything more powerful than sex/love?

Yes, hatred.

It is much easier to hate someone you once loved than it is to love someone you once hated. Not to sound to negative here but in many ways someone can take your love from you. Case in point you love a woman, she cheats on you or does something else to break your trust or deeply hurt you and you feel completely different the next day. If you hate someone, it takes a LOT more to change the way you feel about them.

I think love and hate run parallel....each being a very strong emotion. When love goes wrong, hate usually follows close behind. You have to hopefully maintain an even keel and get to the point where you basically just don't give a damn anymore. :nod: Indifference - That's when you know you are truly over someone.

[Deathcricket]

Yes, hatred.

It is much easier to hate someone you once loved than it is to love someone you once hated. Not to sound to negative here but in many ways someone can take your love from you. Case in point you love a woman, she cheats on you or does something else to break your trust or deeply hurt you and you feel completely different the next day. If you hate someone, it takes a LOT more to change the way you feel about them.

Hmm very interesting. I don't think I agree with that. At least in my case, I can say I really don't hate my (soon to be) ex wife. I feel extremely hurt and betrayed yes. BUt I kinda feel more sorry for her than anything else. Sadness maybe? Yeah sad that she is going down this dark path on a spending spree for which there will be no happiness for her, only misery.

Although I could be wrong. I was in love with her for 11 years. And in less than 2 months that love was whiped out and completely erased. I was really angry when I first found out, but in less than a month I can safely say there is no hate. But it was probably hate or anger that erased the love built up over the years or negated it.

I can safely say that if she were to apologize and go to an addiction therapy class I would probably get back together with her. I would probably have trouble ever trusting her again, but I would expecially do it out of love for my son and not wanting to see him grow up in a broken home. So I think that is probably proof that love is stronger than hatred as well??? Man that is a tough one now that I think about it. Perhaps it's truly up the individual? If you let hate fester and gather in your heart, it controls you. So hate is powerful only if you let it be. And love could be the same way. To love someone you have to let yourself trust them and put yourself out there where you can get hurt. So depending on the indiviual, either one could be more powerful?

[DiscGo]

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you will automatically hate an ex-lover or spouse. My Mom and her ex-husband get along great. My ex-girlfriend (my "first love") married my best friends and us three still get along great and there are no bad feelings there at all.

I totally agree with Savanna that indifference is the key to being over someone.


I have just experienced in my own life that it is easier to quickly stop loving someone than it is to quickly stop hating someone.

[savanna3313]

I can safely say that if she were to apologize and go to an addiction therapy class I would probably get back together with her.

Have you told her this? Maybe it's not truly the end.....

:popcorn:


What can I say.....I just think happy endings are pretty cool. :2thumbs:

[Deathcricket]

Yes I told her that in writing via email. Like most addicts, she is going to have to hit rock bottom first, realize her life isn't working, and want to make a change though. My suspicion is that she will look for a rich old guy to support her spending habits and continue the life she wants. She is still quite beautful so that should be a simple process out here in St George. Just visit a couple of the golf club lounges.

[Redpb]

Through watching my bro-inlaws experience with fostering children and then adopting these children, I would say yes there is something stronger.
Drugs.
The parents of these beautiful kids chose drugs over their children, which is just beyond me.
These parents had multiple chances to quit the drugs and get their kids back out of the foster program. To the bitter end, they chose drugs.

[Jaxx]

I'm sorry to hear that DC. You are the coolest guy. She doesn't realize yet what she is losing out on.

Mabey my wife will let you move into my basement. is there a Bromance in the making??!?!?!? We could go canyoneering every weekend! No, Im sorry for joking in such a serious situation.

I think love is more powerful. The act of giving your life for someone you love can't be matched by any act for someone you hate IMO. The worst you could do to someone is murder them. Atleast that is the worst I could think of. But even that isn't hard compared to giving your life. Does any of this rambling mean anything to anyone else but me?

[Thomas]

My wife didn

[James_B_Wads2000]

I'm going through a very nasty divorce right now and it's one of the toughest things I've ever gone through. there wasn't sexual cheating in our relationship, but I found out my wife has developed a compulsive spending problem and was stealing money from me out of our joint bank account, cashing out stocks, getting credit cards in my name, stuff like that. So in a way, I completely understand what someone having an affair on you would feel like, the betrayal aspect is still there. You trusted them and they betrayed that trust. It hurts like nothing I can describe.

Man Jake I am sorry to hear this. I went through a similar thing when I first got married. You are a cool dude and I won

[KapitanSparrow]

[quote=Thomas]I don

[KapitanSparrow]

[quote=Deathcricket] I'm going through a very nasty divorce right now and it's one of the toughest things I've ever gone through. there wasn't sexual cheating in our relationship, but I found out my wife has developed a compulsive spending problem and was stealing money from me out of our joint bank account, cashing out stocks, getting credit cards in my name, stuff like that. So in a way, I completely understand what someone having an affair on you would feel like, the betrayal aspect is still there. You trusted them and they betrayed that trust. It hurts like nothing I can describe.

Man Jake I am sorry to hear this. I went through a similar thing when I first got married. You are a cool dude and I won

[Don]

[quote=James_B_Wads2000][quote=Deathcricket] I'm going through a very nasty divorce right now and it's one of the toughest things I've ever gone through. there wasn't sexual cheating in our relationship, but I found out my wife has developed a compulsive spending problem and was stealing money from me out of our joint bank account, cashing out stocks, getting credit cards in my name, stuff like that. So in a way, I completely understand what someone having an affair on you would feel like, the betrayal aspect is still there. You trusted them and they betrayed that trust. It hurts like nothing I can describe.

Man Jake I am sorry to hear this. I went through a similar thing when I first got married. You are a cool dude and I won

[Deathcricket]

I would say yes there is something stronger.
Drugs.


Hit the nail on the head. I would just change it from "drugs" to "addiction" is stronger than love. That's why my marriage ended. It could be achohol, drugs, sex, or even buying $200 pairs of shoes. But the addiction becomes the most important thing in your life and nothing else matters.

Also, thanks for the well wishes guys. I'm actually doing ok now considering the circumstances. The only thing that still really hurts now is that she has tossed my 3 year old son into the mix. And when he comes over and asks "why does momma hate you so much dada" it breaks my heart into 1000 pieces. If it was up to me he would not even know there was a problem. But we're going to make it through this, we're a team. Back on topic eh?

:2thumbs:

[KapitanSparrow]

I would say yes there is something stronger.
Drugs.


Hit the nail on the head. I would just change it from "drugs" to "addiction" is stronger than love. That's why my marriage ended. It could be achohol, drugs, sex, or even buying $200 pairs of shoes. But the addiction becomes the most important thing in your life and nothing else matters.

Also, thanks for the well wishes guys. I'm actually doing ok now considering the circumstances. The only thing that still really hurts now is that she has tossed my 3 year old son into the mix. And when he comes over and asks "why does momma hate you so much dada" it breaks my heart into 1000 pieces. If it was up to me he would not even know there was a problem. But we're going to make it through this, we're a team. Back on topic eh?

:2thumbs:

I don't see it. I quit smoking at least 3 times in my life already :roflol: But seriously, I did quit smoking and is not as bad and they say it is the hardest of all addictions. But I can see how it sucks with drugs. I can have a ciggie once in a while at a party or on a camping trip and it doesn't change a thing. But getting stoned or shooting up once in a while is probably not as "scott free".

[rockgremlin]

I agree drugs are stronger than love. MUCH stronger.

I think religion is a close second. Most of our current social norms have been influenced by Christianity...including the popular views on love and marriage.

[savanna3313]

I agree drugs are stronger than love. MUCH stronger.


Sadly, I will have to agree with this statement. I lost my youngest sister 6 yrs ago this month due to a drug addiction. She went to rehab a dozen times and as soon as she would get out, it would be no time before she was back in the habit. She had everything going for her and could have been a model at one time. The lure of the drug was too much.

[Thomas]

Sounds like the most powerful influences/emotions in our lives are:

1: Drugs/Addiction
2: Religion
3: Hate
4: Love
5: Sex

Not sure what that says about humanity, but interesting none the less.

[jman]

Not sure what that says about humanity, but interesting none the less.

I think it means that humanity at its core puts themselves first before most everyone (not always of course, but generality here). Not that its a bad thing always, but I believe human nature is egocentric, ethnocentric (we judge others, the world, by our own lives/values/morals, etc.), and revengeful. That's why we need to put off this natural man, and better ourselves. It's hard. Especially, when emotions and a penis gets in the way - we need to bridle our passions.

People say live free and do whatever you want - but in reality, it doesn't work that way. the reason why it doesn't work is because you can't choose the outcome or consequences and lives (seen and unseen) you will affect. You may aid it or manipulate it slighty, but you can't 100% control it.

sorry if it seems preachy but that's why I believe.

[Cirrus2000]

Not sure what that says about humanity, but interesting none the less.

I think it means that humanity at its core puts themselves first before most everyone (not always of course, but generality here). Not that its a bad thing always, but I believe human nature is egocentric, ethnocentric (we judge others, the world, by our own lives/values/morals, etc.), and revengeful. That's why we need to put off this natural man, and better ourselves. It's hard. Especially, when emotions and a penis gets in the way - we need to bridle our passions.

People say live free and do whatever you want - but in reality, it doesn't work that way. the reason why it doesn't work is because you can't choose the outcome or consequences and lives (seen and unseen) you will affect. You may aid it or manipulate it slighty, but you can't 100% control it.

sorry if it seems preachy but that's why I believe.

That's so funny, I didn't know where you were going with that. Until you said "preachy", and "that's why I believe" I was 100% behind what you were saying - then I realized where you were going, without actually going there.

Actually, I still am 100% behind what you actually did say.

It's interesting, but I think the question of what is strongest is answered differently for everyone.

For most people, love (and the reverse side of that coin, hate) is the strongest thing. ( I think DiscGo has a very true insight about how strong hate can be, compared to love. A betrayal can reverse and double one's passion.) For some, drugs will break that chain, that bond (drug addicts that no longer give a damn about their kids, say). For others, religion will break it (look at people who are told by their sect to disown family members - and do.)

Maybe everyone has an Achilles heel, a weakness that can be exploited to make them turn on everything important to them. For some people, it's something that they do stumble across at some point; perhaps even those who claim a certain moral high ground for never doing so, just haven't because the right enticement was never encountered. I don't know.

It is incredible, though, how so often people will either risk or give up that which means so much to them, for so little. A little high, a little titillation, a little acquisition.

People sure are complicated.

[jman]

Not sure what that says about humanity, but interesting none the less.


sorry if it seems preachy but that's why I believe.

That's so funny, I didn't know where you were going with that. Until you said "preachy", and "that's why I believe" I was 100% behind what you were saying - then I realized where you were going, without actually going there.

Actually, I still am 100% behind what you actually did say.

It's interesting, but I think the question of what is strongest is answered differently for everyone.

For most people, love (and the reverse side of that coin, hate) is the strongest thing. ( I think DiscGo has a very true insight about how strong hate can be, compared to love. A betrayal can reverse and double one's passion.) For some, drugs will break that chain, that bond (drug addicts that no longer give a damn about their kids, say). For others, religion will break it (look at people who are told by their sect to disown family members - and do.)

Maybe everyone has an Achilles heel, a weakness that can be exploited to make them turn on everything important to them. For some people, it's something that they do stumble across at some point; perhaps even those who claim a certain moral high ground for never doing so, just haven't because the right enticement was never encountered. I don't know.

It is incredible, though, how so often people will either risk or give up that which means so much to them, for so little. A little high, a little titillation, a little acquisition.

People sure are complicated.

Well its always nice to know someone can relate to what I said. But you should of clarified your last statement, "People sure are complicated." Let me fix it for you, "WOMEN sure are complicated." There...much better. men are easy to figure.