Agree or not?

[abirken]

Is it important for you and your partner/spouse to agree on the same political views?
Just wondering what everyone thinks about this because my hubby is polar opposite of me and it's unraveling a whole bunch of not-so-fun moments. I want a divorce. (not really) But somewhere in my big plan, I always thought my life partner would parallel me with the same political views. It's just not turning out that way and I wonder.

Fill me on on why you chose your answer. Thanks! :2thumbs:

[JP]

Is it important for you and your partner/spouse to agree on the same political views?
Nope. Most females seem to lean Liberal than Conservative. It's just something that makes things more interesting :haha:

[Sombeech]

no, because i'll force it on her anyways

[JP]

no, because i'll force it on her anyways
:roflol: :roflol: :roflol: :roflol:

[abirken]

no, because i'll force it on her anyways

asswipe. then you meet a woman like me who isn't forced into ANYTHING! Remember, this girls been to jail for fighting in public and I'd throw the smack down on ya before ever voting for McCain. :lol8: Just answer the damn question/poll NOW!! :frustrated:

[Sombeech]

then you meet a woman like me who isn't forced into ANYTHING!

That's what you think

[RugerShooter]

No, it don't matter much to me but my wife does agree on most of my political views, and if she don't agree with me I set her straight.

[oldno7]

--if you two don't agree your vetting process must have only been sexual. :lol8: Men are much deeper than that! :popcorn:

[Last Child]

Only for the shallow/weak minded would this matter. :roll:

Edit: "This" being that your spouse must have the same views.

Just in case my answer came across the wrong way. As is often the case. :mrgreen:

[BruteForce]

While it doesn't really matter to me, I am fortunate that my wife generally mirrors my perspective.

[Don]

I would prefer a woman with an opinion about things. It would be pretty near the top of a list of requirements if I were to actually make such a list. And if she doesnt agree with me she'd better be ready to debate and defend her position because a good argument can be fun too.

[R]

I respect Abby's thoughts even when I don't agree with her. I am much more of an idealogue than she is, so I tend to know ahead of time how I am voting and how I would like the political system to operate. She is, honestly, more open minded than I am about politics. In fact, she is still on the fence about the presidential election.

On the other hand, when we talk about politics, our ideas make sense to each other.

There, are the waters muddy enough now?

[greyhair biker]

I agree with you Richard. Agree to disagree....(in alot of things) My wife and I are 'not of the same party' I vote for who I want, she does the same. We don't agree on various arguable points but then who really does? I dont argue politics...with anyone, mainly because I don't like to argue - she does and it good at it. So what (sorry dear :haha: )
Alison...I'm a lover not a fighter( doesn't mean I don't like 'em feisty!) :lol8:

[sportsman]

I said no, because if i was married to her I would have found out her political views and decided if i could live with them before I married her (thats what dating is for) . If i couldnt, then I wouldnt have married her in the first place.

[Last Child]

I said no, because if i was married to her I would have found out her political views and decided if i could live with them before I married her (thats what dating is for) . If i couldnt, then I wouldnt have married her in the first place.

Are you serious? If so then....all I can say is...WOW and how shallow.

I love being married to a strong woman with her own mind and ideals. That is one of the things that I find most attractive about her. And DAMN, how she can intelligently argue her point. :naughty:

[sportsman]

I said no, because if i was married to her I would have found out her political views and decided if i could live with them before I married her (thats what dating is for) . If i couldnt, then I wouldnt have married her in the first place.

Are you serious? If so then....all I can say is...WOW and how shallow.

I love being married to a strong woman with her own mind and ideals. That is one of the things that I find most attractive about her. And DAMN, how she can intelligently argue her point. :naughty:

Not shallow at all! Boy you must have missed the whole gist of what i was saying. What I was getting at is political views, religion, etc, and a few other things people are pretty passionate about and don't usually change their views. Therefore you should know them ahead of time and be ok with the difference before you get married. Once again that is what dating is for. I can't imagine you just married the first girl that came along so you wouldn't be "shallow"

[abirken]

WOW! I'm really loving all of your responses as I am struggling to maintain a balance in my household during this election time. I think what's happened for me is that I now look at this man that I've had kids with and care about and I now feel so DIVIDED because we are complete opposites. And that's what I don't like, feeling this division. I guess I prefer to not argue and it's been almost impossible to NOT argue over our political views. I am DEFINITELY spunky and sassy, but will do anything to not argue. Lover here and not a fighter as well. Thanks for all your input. :2thumbs:

[Udink]

I'm an atheist married to a Mormon, so no, it's not terribly important that my wife and I share the same political views. :lol8: We do, however, agree on most things political. :nod:

[Deathcricket]

I voted "depends" because I would NEVER marry a liberal. Although they do tend to be very kinky in bed. Just too polar opposite for me to understand and be around all the time. That being said, my wife and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of issues. She's a hardcore Republican into McCain (because of Palin) and I'm a hardcore Ron Paul libertarian. But we are at least 65% similar so have a nice base to work off of.

I think religion is more important though. I can't imagine being married to a hardcore religous person like the guy above me. Most important, who would watch porn with me? I'm sure they would think I'm going to hell and preach to me all the time. And I would want to drink beer and wine and get the disapproving looks. Then the whole "what do we teach the kids" argument. Not saying it's impossible just saying marriage is hard enough without the extra complications.
:popcorn:

[Last Child]

I said no, because if i was married to her I would have found out her political views and decided if i could live with them before I married her (thats what dating is for) . If i couldnt, then I wouldnt have married her in the first place.

Are you serious? If so then....all I can say is...WOW and how shallow.

I love being married to a strong woman with her own mind and ideals. That is one of the things that I find most attractive about her. And DAMN, how she can intelligently argue her point. :naughty:

Not shallow at all! Boy you must have missed the whole gist of what i was saying. What I was getting at is political views, religion, etc, and a few other things people are pretty passionate about and don't usually change their views. Therefore you should know them ahead of time and be ok with the difference before you get married. Once again that is what dating is for. I can't imagine you just married the first girl that came along so you wouldn't be "shallow"

My apologies then. What I read was that if you had dated someone that had a different political view than yours then you wouldn't have let yourself fall in love with and/or considered marrying that person. Which I personally feel is shallow.

Also it is good for people to be passionate about things and have opinions. And why should they or you or anyone have to "change". What I am guessing is...that you are saying that you can't handle a woman with her own mind and opinions arguing with you. And that she would have to be the one who does the changing? Or are you worried that by having a strong idealistic woman arguing her points she might actually shed some light on the topics of politics and\or religion or whatever and then you might end up be the one doing the changing?

I find it ironic that you also brought up religion here. For I have found that it is usually the "religious" type of people that have this type attitude. Religions usually do not support the process of free thought. They usually support the "everybody must conform and be the same" way of life.

And no I did not marry the first girl/woman I dated. But if I did that would not make me shallow or not shallow. It would have just meant that I fell in love with the first person I dated. But refusing to fall in love with someone just because she might have an opinion of her own? Well that would be ankle deep.

But to each his own and "whatever floats your boat". Or I should more appropriately say..."Whatever doesn't create any waves under your boat".

[Last Child]

WOW! I'm really loving all of your responses as I am struggling to maintain a balance in my household during this election time. I think what's happened for me is that I now look at this man that I've had kids with and care about and I now feel so DIVIDED because we are complete opposites. And that's what I don't like, feeling this division. I guess I prefer to not argue and it's been almost impossible to NOT argue over our political views. I am DEFINITELY spunky and sassy, but will do anything to not argue. Lover here and not a fighter as well. Thanks for all your input. :2thumbs:

This is a tough one. It takes two people to "divide". Arguing can be a good thing. Depending on how it is done. If it can be done without personal insults and such and without any preconceived goals then it can be very constructive. The problem I have found is that most people don't argue to "just" argue and to share opinions. They argue to try to "change" the other persons outlook. When done with that attitude it's a lost cause.

Maybe you two can talk about that first. If two people can go at it with the understanding that it is OK to have a different opinion and it is OK to agree to disagree then that takes off a ton of pressure and I think that you will find the discussions to be much more enjoyable and productive. I have also found that it makes it easier for both parties to be "open" to the other opinion and be willing to "change" if they find the other opinion a fit.

I will be sending out some positive "Arguing Ju Ju" your way! :nod: :2thumbs:

[TreeHugger]

My husband leans republican and I democrat. We have great conversations, or on certain things, just leave it be. :-)

[shlingdawg]

I can't stand to talk politics with my wife. If I wanted to hear a crappy opinion; I'd fart. :ne_nau:

[Sombeech]

If I wanted to hear a crappy opinion; I'd fart. :ne_nau:

You are missing a signature, and I believe you should use this line.

[blueeyes]

i voted it depends

i could not be married to someone who at the very least did not respect my right to form and express my own opinion. i would intern do the same for them. respect in marriage is #1 on my list.

if you are extremely strong willed and very passionate about politics then i would think it best that you were married to someone who held similar values

if you are someone who pays attention to politics, had your opnion, but didnt let your feathers get ruffled over a different view point... then you most likely could live with that person and their views.

and i dont think it is shallow if you do have religious beliefs or political views that are strong and choose not to marry or date some one with a differing view point..... if your feelings are truly that strong and you do marry the opposite and do not have the ability to respect that persons right to have their own mind then it will only cause massive issues.

[Last Child]

i voted it depends

i could not be married to someone who at the very least did not respect my right to form and express my own opinion. i would intern do the same for them. respect in marriage is #1 on my list.

if you are extremely strong willed and very passionate about politics then i would think it best that you were married to someone who held similar values

if you are someone who pays attention to politics, had your opinion, but didnt let your feathers get ruffled over a different view point... then you most likely could live with that person and their views.

and i dont think it is shallow if you do have religious beliefs or political views that are strong and choose not to marry or date some one with a differing view point..... if your feelings are truly that strong and you do marry the opposite and do not have the ability to respect that persons right to have their own mind then it will only cause massive issues.

Good post!

Also I must apologize here to sportsman! I had just got home from having my sinuses drained yesterday and the drugs had yet to kick in so I was in a bit of pain and was ornery as hell and being quite an ass.

So please accept my apology mr sportsman. I was out of line. :chairshot:

Edit: I think that maybe I should add an apology to abirken. After rereading my post I feel as though I may have been or appeared to have been insensitive to your situation at hand. So definitely not my intent. I am oh so sorry!

I hope that you are finding some happy middle ground here.

[abirken]

i voted it depends

i could not be married to someone who at the very least did not respect my right to form and express my own opinion. i would intern do the same for them. respect in marriage is #1 on my list.

if you are extremely strong willed and very passionate about politics then i would think it best that you were married to someone who held similar values

if you are someone who pays attention to politics, had your opnion, but didnt let your feathers get ruffled over a different view point... then you most likely could live with that person and their views.

and i dont think it is shallow if you do have religious beliefs or political views that are strong and choose not to marry or date some one with a differing view point..... if your feelings are truly that strong and you do marry the opposite and do not have the ability to respect that persons right to have their own mind then it will only cause massive issues.


I agree with Last Child in that I think your post made the most sense to me. You really do see all sides to the situation. THANKS chica!! :five:

[abirken]

Edit: I think that maybe I should add an apology to abirken. After rereading my post I feel as though I may have been or appeared to have been insensitive to your situation at hand. So definitely not my intent. I am oh so sorry!

I hope that you are finding some happy middle ground here.


You have no reason to apologize darling. I love reading your responses and appreciate your input. Get to feeling better!!!!! TAKE THE DRUGS. HAHA!! In the meantime, we just don't discuss it anymore b/c we have to respect one anothers differences. I'M TRYING. :2thumbs:

[denaliguide]

if your disagree totally on your respective political opinions then as long as you both either vote or don't vote the results are the same. you cancel each other out. which is what happens in our house.

to me it's all about the hoo haw, not politics.

[Last Child]

It should be all about love and respect for your spouse. There is no way two people will always agree on every topic. If you truly love someone you have to learn to respect their view. You don't have to agree with that view but you do have to respect your loved one.

Also there is no guarantee that one of you won't have a change of mind or attitude about some sort of topic over the years. Right now is a very good example of that. There are some die hard republicans that have had a change of heart after the fiasco of the Bush years and seeing that Mcain may not be much different/better. So is true with democrats and having to vote for Obama. Same goes with religion. Many decide to leave a religion or change a religion or get a religion. So what are you going to do? Leave the one you love?

A marriage is all about love, understanding, and respect.