Should I Tell My Wife??

[proads26]

I recently got a bonus check from an old job. I want everyone's opinion on this. We are dinc's. That means dual income no children. and we only have like 5 bills, a car payment, satillite, power, gas, and rent. We make more than enough to pay these and still have a good time. She has no idea that I have this check, so should i share it, or just KEEP IT?? Answer the poll. I'm not sure how much it will be, but I know it will be upwards of $300.

[Sombeech]

MOUNTAIN BIKE!!!!!!!!!!! Just tell her I gave it to you.

[proads26]

yeah, or the ol' "fell off a truck"

[fourtycal]

stash that cash. someday you will need money for something your spouse doesn't need to know about.

[proads26]

if i'm gonna get anything of value i'd have to be spending it pretty quick. Otherwise i'll end up with upwards of $300 dollars of rock star and slim jim's

[Alex]

Depends on your relationship, I can't keep anything from my wife....but she lets me buy whatever I want if it's reasonable and we can afford it.

[proads26]

what's her definition of "reasonable?"

[Alex]

heh, depends each month. If we can afford it and our bills paid for, dunno man, it varies for each family I guess.

[proads26]

We'll be cool on bills, on of my friends here at work mentioned doing a surprise for her, so maybe i'd split it, half on me and half on the surprise... But still I wanna spend it

[Alex]

That is a very cool idea! You will get the brownie points, which will in return should get you some nice lovin' :naughty: and then you can spend some on yourself.

I personally would still tell her about the money. But it's just me, I personally don't like to keep secrets from my wife. But to each their own and you need to figure out how your family works.

Surprise idea is awesome though!

[DiscGo]

Although the idea of the slush fund is nice, I think you should tell her and plan something fun together. Use it to go on a trip, buy something fun for the fam, etc. but definitely let her be a part of the planning.

[proads26]

man i'm disappointed, I thought you guys were more hardcore than this. Where is captain reckless with the good old "buy a big screen!!" or somethin?

[Ih8grvty]

man i'm disappointed, I thought you guys were more hardcore than this. Where is captain reckless with the good old "buy a big screen!!" or somethin?
You cant get a big screen for 300!
Besides, if you have a good relationship with your wife, no reason to shit on her and not tell her.
I tell mine everything, I dont keep secrets from her and she doesnt keep any from me.
a good relationship is started on trust, if you cant trust each other then what the hell is the point of being together?
You can think Im whipped if ya like, I prefer to think I have a good relationship with my wife.

[greyhair biker]

After years of not stashing the cash and then regretting it when it got spent of something completely NON BENEFICIAL to me, I have to agree with fourtycal on this one...make it dissapear until you need it. You wont regret it...and you can live with the guilt of not telling your wife every little detail :haha:

[proads26]

Ha Ha I guess before I get too many people riding up on their high horse I should say that most of my comments are said with tongue planted firmly in cheek. My wife is as hott as they come and I love her more than anything, I just want a little extra cash. Maybe i'll go make it rain ha ha

[proads26]

yeaha this guy is feelin me!! thanks for the support

[Sombeech]

I think I like the Rockstar and Jerky idea better.

[Ih8grvty]

After years of not stashing the cash and then regretting it when it got spent of something completely NON BENEFICIAL to me, I have to agree with fourtycal on this one...make it dissapear until you need it. You wont regret it...and you can live with the guilt of not telling your wife every little detail :haha:

If its going to be stashed for later, pulled out like a miracle to save asses or get the car fixed or what ever, Im all for that, but if its going to be tossed out on crap, then Id tell my wife.

[Gutpiler_Utahn]

To quote my fiance, this is "momma don't know money." Of course, she and I have an agreement. Her money, after bills, is hers to do with as she sees fit and my money is mine after bills. Don't matter what I do with it so long as it's legal. :naughty:

[Alex]

yeaha this guy is feelin me!! thanks for the support

I think this dude is either Beech/Ice or he is pulling our leg. :roll:

Dude, it's your family, your life, your wife and your money, go do what you want with it. Why ask for support from the outdoor forums? Honestly....

300 green ones ain't that much anyways. :blahblah:

[Sombeech]

I think this dude is either Beech/Ice or he is pulling our leg. :roll:

I guess I've done this too many times. :lol8: But no, it's neither of us.

[proads26]

Yes we usually split the rest after bills and saving some too, and 300 bucks is alot when you're 23.

[Alex]

t when you're 23.

Alright that explains it, then take an advice of fortycal and stash the cash for the rainy day.

[proads26]

Why else son? its a slow day at work, plus other people's input, no matter what it is broadens your perspective

[BruteForce]

A few marriage tips (going on 20 for my wife and I):

- Never lie/cheat/steal/ to/from your partner (integrity always)
- The wife is always right
- The wife is always better than "new cow"

Let her know about your check, but suggest how YOU'D like to spend it.

[proads26]

Yeah maybe instead of mulling this over so much I should start writing my proposal ha ha

[JP]

Take her out someplace nice and then tell her what you bought :haha:

[Alex]

It's always easier to ask for a permission than beg for forgiveness.

[TreeHugger]

If you were my husband I'd tell ya to go buy something fun - a bonus is a bonus after all - you earned it.

What your wife might say, who knows, only you know. Trust your instincts, if you think she'll be ticked off if you dont tell her or dont spend it on her, or dont share it with her, ask yourself, is it worth it?

I dont advocate hiding it or sneaking around with stuff, generally bad practice in a relationship/marriage. You're young, figure out your financial relationship with each other so things like this dont have to be an issue.

OR... you could always go get what you want: come home all excited about the BONUS that YOU earned, and be all happy and show her what you got and go on and on about how cool it is, and she'll naturally share in your excitement and be happy for YOU, right?? That's as it should be. :nod:

[fourtycal]

Besides, if you have a good relationship with your wife, no reason to shit on her and not tell her.
I tell mine everything, I dont keep secrets from her and she doesnt keep any from me.
a good relationship is started on trust, if you cant trust each other then what the hell is the point of being together?
You can think Im whipped if ya like, I prefer to think I have a good relationship with my wife.

You don't have to share every little detail to trust each other. I don't even know where my wife works (some grade school?) let alone what she does every minute or how much she makes and I don't need to know because I trust her. She don't know how much money I make or have in the bank and I don't know how much she has. I do know that we dont/cant argue about money (the number one cause of divorce!) and do not have to ask to borrow from the pot to buy each other gifts or go to dinner. We did it wrong for the first 5 years and almost didn't make it, then some sound advise from a friend and I fixed it. No money disputes for the last 14 years :cool2:

Maybe others can handle the stress of "shared" money but not me, doesn't mean I dont love her because I keep a money stash :ne_nau:

[Iceaxe]

My feelings on found money.........

It's hard to go wrong with strippers and Tequila!

:2thumbs:

[JP]

My feelings on found money.........

It's hard to go wrong with strippers and Tequila!

:2thumbs:
:roflol: :roflol: :roflol:

[denaliguide]

tell the wife? what, are you NUTS?

i'm in agreement with ice. strippers and tequila. :2thumbs:

[RugerShooter]

I vote for telling the wife, unless you put it in the rainy day fund.

[kris]

Why not keep an honest relationship, not a shady one. Just tell her whats up, and you would like to stash it.

[Sombeech]

When I stink, sometimes I blame it on my little boy. Some secrets are best kept secret.

[DiscGo]

'Secret secrets are no fun. Secret secrets hurt someone."

[JP]

'Secret secrets are no fun. Secret secrets hurt someone."
Right, that's why those secrets are secret :twisted: :lol8: :lol8: :lol8:

[Cirrus2000]

Tell her about it, and if all is as it should be, she'll support you getting what you want. If things are paid up, and the relationship is good, then why not? If things aren't good, then hiding a $300 bonus check probably isn't the first sign of trouble, and it definitely won't be the last. So unless you actually do want to spend it on strippers and tequila (should provide a couple hours of good entertainment...), then share the news with your wife. (Coming up on 22 years for us, and honesty really is - almost invariably - the best policy.)

[sparker1]

Forty-five years of experience has taught me one thing: Don't try to advise others on matters of love and marriage. You're on your own.

[DiscGo]

'Secret secrets are no fun. Secret secrets hurt someone."

JP- I don't know if you watch the office, but this is a quote from a stripper on the Office. I just thought I would clarify less people believe that I speak like that.

[TreeHugger]

Besides, if you have a good relationship with your wife, no reason to shit on her and not tell her.
I tell mine everything, I dont keep secrets from her and she doesnt keep any from me.
a good relationship is started on trust, if you cant trust each other then what the hell is the point of being together?
You can think Im whipped if ya like, I prefer to think I have a good relationship with my wife.

You don't have to share every little detail to trust each other. I don't even know where my wife works (some grade school?) let alone what she does every minute or how much she makes and I don't need to know because I trust her. She don't know how much money I make or have in the bank and I don't know how much she has. I do know that we dont/cant argue about money (the number one cause of divorce!) and do not have to ask to borrow from the pot to buy each other gifts or go to dinner. We did it wrong for the first 5 years and almost didn't make it, then some sound advise from a friend and I fixed it. No money disputes for the last 14 years :cool2:

Maybe others can handle the stress of "shared" money but not me, doesn't mean I dont love her because I keep a money stash :ne_nau:

I'm with you, we dont share money either. We have our own bank accounts, we divy up the bills in an agreeable way (he pays most of them, haha), and it's great. I can do what I want with my money and vise versa and dont have to ask "permission" to spend as long as our expenses are taken care of and money is put into savings and investments.

[Alex]

Forty-five years of experience has taught me one thing: Don't try to advise others on matters of love and marriage. You're on your own.

I think that is the best advice in this thread. To each their own :2thumbs:

[proads26]

Ok all you "everything that is said on the internet literally affects real life no matter how sarcastic it may be people out there who are rushing to your local gun emporium right now to buy a needler and a cerebral bore" it turned out to be a $45 dollar refund for a week's worth of health insurance. I couldn't stop laughing when I opened it, I told my old lady "she likes that name by the way" the whole story with the internet poll and everything, and she thought it was hilarious but she would have made me share/save it. Anyway feel free to have a laugh, I guess that's what I get for being selfish ha ha!

[Alex]

:lol8: nice one. Well welcome to the Bogley, where we explode any situation into life/death decisions :2thumbs: :five: :roflol:

[Ih8grvty]

Besides, if you have a good relationship with your wife, no reason to shit on her and not tell her.
I tell mine everything, I dont keep secrets from her and she doesnt keep any from me.
a good relationship is started on trust, if you cant trust each other then what the hell is the point of being together?
You can think Im whipped if ya like, I prefer to think I have a good relationship with my wife.

You don't have to share every little detail to trust each other. I don't even know where my wife works (some grade school?) let alone what she does every minute or how much she makes and I don't need to know because I trust her. She don't know how much money I make or have in the bank and I don't know how much she has. I do know that we dont/cant argue about money (the number one cause of divorce!) and do not have to ask to borrow from the pot to buy each other gifts or go to dinner. We did it wrong for the first 5 years and almost didn't make it, then some sound advise from a friend and I fixed it. No money disputes for the last 14 years :cool2:

Maybe others can handle the stress of "shared" money but not me, doesn't mean I dont love her because I keep a money stash :ne_nau:

Different shit works for different people I guess.
I did it wrong with somone I HATE for 10 years, shit I didnt like her when I married her and it wasnt too much longer before I hated her.
This time through I do shit different, and it works for us.
I know where she works and what she does and how her day went because she tells me, I know she is going to Minnesota in july for work, because she told me, I know she got a promotion and a raise last month because she told me.
I like being able to share in her excitement and accomplishments. I like that she got through college, and that I was who helped her get started and told her she could do it at over 30 years old. I like that we share a life.

WHy marry someone you despise? that whats going to come from this post so lets get it over and out now.
I was 18, young and stupid, made 40k a year and had a good life. She was supposed to be a 1 night stand, and 3 weeks later I had pissed off parents, and she was pregnant and 16.
stupid? you bet your ass! I was dumb, I should of had a rubber, I should of paid for the kid and not married her, I should of done alot of shit. I didnt, I married her and tried to change her and make her a decent person. You cant change people, they are what they are. 8 years later I packed my shit and walked out, 2 years in court and finally a divorce! A very happy day in my life. it was granted 2 days after the anniversary.
The one good thing I got out of it was my kids.
Im smarter now, I do shit 100% different than I did that first time.
What works for me may not work for you, but it works great for us.
The one Im with now I met just after valentines day 5 years ago. She had a 6 month old son that KNOWS Im his dad. His real dad? I am his real dad, his sperm donor disappeared the day she told him she was pregnant, not a word from him since. He owes thousands of dollars in back child support and I figure that after we get married this summer I can use that as a bargaining chip to get him to sign off on his rights, if he even sees or responds the ad that will be in the paper seeking him so I can legally adopt . so I can adopt the kid.
I call her my wife, she is for all practical purposes. Been with her for over 4 1/2 years and lived together for 3 of those.
That kid IS my son,and will be 5 on the fourth of July and asks me stuff like "Why are all of these people at my parade?" He still thinks the fireworks are for him, He can read, do simple math, and splay the piano, well OK keyboard, and taught himself all of the musical stuff as i am a talentless bastard when it comes to music. 47" and 64 lbs.
I am the proud parent of MY kid.

[Ih8grvty]

When I stink, sometimes I blame it on my little boy. Some secrets are best kept secret.

I do that in the car, but my son is key to it!
I let go of a silent but violent one, she bitches at me an I look innocent and offended and tell her it wasnt me. then turn to the back seat, "Kota, you fart?"
he proudly takes the blame every time! That or he blames his brother.

[Deathcricket]

Yes we usually split the rest after bills and saving some too, and 300 bucks is alot when you're 23.

Ok now the "situation" has been resolved we can get on to more serious matters. WTF you doing married at 23? Shouldn't you be trying to bang anything with a pulse? Take a queue from Ih8gravity I think, too young to know what you want out of woman in life IMO.

[proads26]

I'm just doin what i'm doin at 23. I knew what I wanted in a woman when I was like 12, then it was just a process of whittling it down, Of course noboody is perfect, and you can't always have everything you want all the time,but she's fantastic, she's as much of what I want as I can get at one time in one person. Plus I love her so that helps too. :haha:

[Alex]

Yes we usually split the rest after bills and saving some too, and 300 bucks is alot when you're 23.

Ok now the "situation" has been resolved we can get on to more serious matters. WTF you doing married at 23? Shouldn't you be trying to bang anything with a pulse? Take a queue from Ih8gravity I think, too young to know what you want out of woman in life IMO.

:roflol: deathcricket, that made me LOL here

[sparker1]

So, how did she spend the $45?

[Iceaxe]

So, how did she spend the $45?

:roflol: :roflol: :roflol:

[proads26]

HA HA this guy must be married. We're going to vegas here in a couple weeks, and she used her black magic to convince me it was a good idea to put it toward that. I found out today that I'm getting about 200 more in insurance refunds because apparently I was paying a month in advance, so that trip could end up being almost free. So I guess that wouldn't be all bad. Of course we're taking the trusty 92 accord which can cover about 1000 hectares on a teaspoon of gas so it shouldn't be that bad

[Iceaxe]

she used her black magic to convince me it was a good idea

http://media.westword.com/1597096.51.jpg

[RugerShooter]

We're going to vegas here in a couple weeks

Gamble it all :2thumbs: :2thumbs:

[proads26]

haha well played with the baseball sir

[Ih8grvty]

she used her black magic to convince me it was a good idea

http://media.westword.com/1597096.51.jpg

Oh god, that baseball nearly killed me! my kid came running to see what dad was laughing at on the computer.