Awkward Moments

[Iceaxe]

Saturday night the Hot Young Stripper Wife and I took off down to the Leprechaun (local tavern) to shot some pool.

So I run into this guy I used to race cars with who had this totally psycho girlfriend. The psycho bitch rammed his Corvette with her 4x4 Chevy truck.... repeatedly..... after she saw him autographing some chicks boob after a race.... which, is not an uncommon practice at a race track.

So being the smooth character I am, I shout across the tavern "Dude, how's the Vette!! What is that Psycho Bitch from hell up to these days?"

His reply, "Why don't you ask her, she's standing right behind you."

:doh:

[bbennett]

:hail2thechief: :roflol: :roflol: :roflol: :hail2thechief:

[rockgremlin]

open mouth, insert foot :roflol:

[shlingdawg]

:roflol: :roflol: I LOVE those moments.......


:roflol: :roflol: :roflol:


.....when it doesn't happen to me.

[accadacca]

:lol8: :roflol: :lol8: :roflol: :lol8:

[FROGGER]

LOL :nod:

[trackrunner]

My worst one. I was with my high school cross country camp. The leader was giving out trail running safety tips to the freshmen and I, listening in on the conversation, jokingly say to

[DiscGo]

:roflol:


Man, that sounds like something I would do, due to my lack of tact. That is just too funny.

[abirken]

Classic example of ASS COMMENT, FOOT IN MOUTH and I think we've all done it? At least I have.

"When are you going to have that baby? Seems like you've been pregnant forever!"

OOPS! :nono:

Never ask a women when or IF she's pregnant unless you've confirmed it with her OB/GYN.
:nod:

[Cirrus2000]

Does anyone else use the expression "fat, dumb and happy"? As in contented? We use it at work on occasion.

I was working with a trainee a few years ago. Very nice girl, quick on the uptake, but really quite overweight. I was explaining how using a certain procedure would be of benefit operationally, and concluded by saying if you do this, "you'll be fat, dumb, and happy." I then looked at her, and started to turn kind of red. I could have then just breezed on, and pretend I'd never said it. But no. First there was the awkward pause. Then I added "No offense." D'OH!

[JP]

"Why don't you ask her, she's standing right behind you."

:doh:
Nice :2thumbs:

[sparker1]

Many years ago, a new girl came to work. She was overweight, round-faced and had a few noticeable whiskers on her chin. Not very attractive. After a few weeks, she came to me with a question that could have been answered with a simple "No". Without realizing what I was doing, I blurted out "Not by the hair of your chinny-chin-chin". She turned bright red, and I might have, too.

Next time I saw her, she had shaved the chin hair.

[greyhair biker]

Many years ago, a new girl came to work. She was overweight, round-faced and had a few noticeable whiskers on her chin. Not very attractive. After a few weeks, she came to me with a question that could have been answered with a simple "No". Without realizing what I was doing, I blurted out "Not by the hair of your chinny-chin-chin". She turned bright red, and I might have, too.

Next time I saw her, she had shaved the chin hair.
:roflol: now thats funny stuff right there I teelyouwhut :popcorn:

[KapitanSparrow]

This is not really funny back awkward. A few years ago I called to chat with a friend at my old job and he transfered me to talk with a girl I knew. I remember hearing that she was pregnant few months earlier so I asked, "How are you feeling? When are you due?" Turns out she miscarried. She was cool about it, understanding that I didn't know, and we moved on with the conversation. But it sucked big time.

[Redpb]

Turns out she miscarried. She was cool about it, understanding that I didn't know, and we moved on with the conversation. But it sucked big time.

Yeah, that happened with my sister-in-law. You would have thought someone in the family would have warned me, especially my brother. jackass.

[tanya]

There was that one night when hubby woke me up and in my still sleepy state I blurted out someones name from Bogley. :eek2:

[bbennett]

This doesn't even begin to compete with some of yours but I'll try anyway.
A few years ago, I noticed a guy whom has since become a good friend of mine, limping up the stairs at school. By then I had known him for a couple of weeks and hadn't yet noticed him limping, so I said; "Hey Tanner, what happened to your leg?" to which he replied; "I got ran over by a train last year and lost it.". I instantly felt horrible and said; "well, aren't I the a%@hole". He told me not to worry about and said that it happens all the time, but I still felt like a jerk.
About a week or two later, I was present for pretty much the same conversation between him and another classmate of ours. When he heard the other guy ask him why he was limping, he just looked at me, smiled, and said; "See?"

[Iceaxe]

There was that one night when hubby woke me up and in my still sleepy state I blurted out someones name from Bogley. :eek2:

:eek2:

Creepin' everytime I got a minute to spare
I was tappin' that ass everynight like I didn't care
I call them all baby cuz I forget their names
You would do the same so dont call me insane!
I got lingerie on that is ready to tear
So I pushed him on the bed and started pullin' his hair
Then my phone started ringing it was my other man
We gotta finish up as fast as we can!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6v2PuK2f2Co

[tanya]

:five: :lol8:

[rockgremlin]

There was that one night when hubby woke me up and in my still sleepy state I blurted out someones name from Bogley. :eek2:


Alison?

[tanya]

There was that one night when hubby woke me up and in my still sleepy state I blurted out someones name from Bogley. :eek2:


Alison?


Uh.. no

Savanna! :naughty:


And.. like all men he asked if he could watch. :popcorn:

[trackrunner]

There was that one night when hubby woke me up and in my still sleepy state I blurted out someones name from Bogley. :eek2:


Alison?


Uh.. no

Savanna! :naughty:


And.. like all men he asked if he could watch. :popcorn:
:five: :popcorn: :popcorn: :lol8:

[rockgremlin]

Well then...PM me the date/time for the show!

:popcorn:

[tanya]

Well then...PM me the date/time for the show!

:popcorn:


Get the lady to come to the Bogleyfest!

Savanna is HOT! :hail2thechief:

[abirken]

There was that one night when hubby woke me up and in my still sleepy state I blurted out someones name from Bogley. :eek2:


Alison?


Goodness Rock! Trying to give me a heart attack here at work? I thought I logged into the wrong website. Swingers.com :lol8:

[DaveOU812]

Wait...This isn't Swingers.com :ne_nau:

[abirken]

Wait...This isn't Swingers.com :ne_nau:


Feeling disappointed there Dave? :lol8:

[VINIA]

awkward moments are the best... that's the one chance when you just get to shout out.. "AWKWARD!" really loud, makes the situation feel a little better. :phew:

[Jaxx]

Wait...This isn't Swingers.com :ne_nau:


Feeling disappointed there Dave? :lol8:

AWKWARD!!!

[savanna3313]

There was that one night when hubby woke me up and in my still sleepy state I blurted out someones name from Bogley. :eek2:


Alison?


Uh.. no

Savanna! :naughty:


And.. like all men he asked if he could watch. :popcorn:

Oh my!!! :oops:

Sorry to disappoint the guys, but I think Tanya knows me well enough to know that I only enjoy men (and as Shane likes to put it) Grade A prime beef at that! :2thumbs: The only ta-ta's I want in bed with me are my own. :lol8:

[Redpb]

There was that one night when hubby woke me up and in my still sleepy state I blurted out someones name from Bogley. :eek2:


Alison?


Uh.. no

Savanna! :naughty:


And.. like all men he asked if he could watch. :popcorn:

Oh my!!! :oops:

Sorry to disappoint the guys, but I think Tanya knows me well enough to know that I only enjoy men (and as Shane likes to put it) Grade A prime beef at that! :2thumbs: The only ta-ta's I want in bed with me are my own. :lol8:

BORING!!! :yousuck:

[tanya]

There was that one night when hubby woke me up and in my still sleepy state I blurted out someones name from Bogley. :eek2:


Alison?


Uh.. no

Savanna! :naughty:


And.. like all men he asked if he could watch. :popcorn:

Oh my!!! :oops:

Sorry to disappoint the guys, but I think Tanya knows me well enough to know that I only enjoy men (and as Shane likes to put it) Grade A prime beef at that! :2thumbs: The only ta-ta's I want in bed with me are my own. :lol8:

BORING!!! :yousuck:

There you go! Breaking my heart again. :ne_nau: ~sniffle~

[savanna3313]

There was that one night when hubby woke me up and in my still sleepy state I blurted out someones name from Bogley. :eek2:


Alison?


Uh.. no

Savanna! :naughty:


And.. like all men he asked if he could watch. :popcorn:

Oh my!!! :oops:

Sorry to disappoint the guys, but I think Tanya knows me well enough to know that I only enjoy men (and as Shane likes to put it) Grade A prime beef at that! :2thumbs: The only ta-ta's I want in bed with me are my own. :lol8:

BORING!!! :yousuck:

I'm boring because I suck???? :ne_nau: A first......... :haha:

[tanya]

There was that one night when hubby woke me up and in my still sleepy state I blurted out someones name from Bogley. :eek2:


Alison?


Uh.. no

Savanna! :naughty:


And.. like all men he asked if he could watch. :popcorn:

Oh my!!! :oops:

Sorry to disappoint the guys, but I think Tanya knows me well enough to know that I only enjoy men (and as Shane likes to put it) Grade A prime beef at that! :2thumbs: The only ta-ta's I want in bed with me are my own. :lol8:

BORING!!! :yousuck:

I'm boring because I suck???? :ne_nau: A first......... :haha:

See why I love her.... :five: :roflol: :lol8:

She is sooooo GOOD! or bad? Depending on your point of view. :haha:

[savanna3313]

See why I love her.... :five: :roflol: :lol8:

She is sooooo GOOD! or bad? Depending on your point of view. :haha:

It's easy when I've got such a good partner in crime.......meaning you, Tanya! :haha: :five:

[tanya]

See why I love her.... :five: :roflol: :lol8:

She is sooooo GOOD! or bad? Depending on your point of view. :haha:

It's easy when I've got such a good partner in crime.......meaning you, Tanya! :haha: :five:

We make a good team. See you do like to double team the men. :five:

[Redpb]

We make a good team. See you do like to double team the men. :five:

That's all we're asking for

[Iceaxe]

We make a good team. See you do like to double team the men. :five:

:slobber:

[tanya]

:nomystery: :killen: :ahh:

[sportsman]

Classic example of ASS COMMENT, FOOT IN MOUTH and I think we've all done it? At least I have.

"When are you going to have that baby? Seems like you've been pregnant forever!"

OOPS! :nono:

Never ask a women when or IF she's pregnant unless you've confirmed it with her OB/GYN.
:nod:

very true

[KapitanSparrow]

Yep, my best friend once told me that she was standing in a subway car and some poor sap got up and offered her a seat, heh. He thought she was pregnant. But she sat down. It's not like she was going to tell him that she's not pregnant, heh. Being polite is a tricky biz.

[greyhair biker]

:nomystery: :killen: :ahh:
...boys, we ain't got a chance with these two around :naughty:

[sportsman]

:nomystery: :killen: :ahh:
...boys, we ain't got a chance with these two around :naughty:

amen

[savanna3313]

:nomystery: :killen: :ahh:
...boys, we ain't got a chance with these two around :naughty:

You love it - you know you do. :haha:

:killen:

[tanya]

You love it - you know you do. :haha:

:killen:

:five:

[Don]

In Kuwait, waiting to go to Iraq a few years ago, I was at chow with the guys and one (now a good friend, then a new acquaintance) mentioned something about his ex-fianc

[savanna3313]

This happened to a really good friend of mine who unfortunately is no longer with us. He was a waiter at a really popular Italian restaurant in New Orleans and one night he was waiting on a rowdy group of patrons. One man in particular was being obnoxious to the point he was actually taking food from the trays meant for another table. My friend finally loses his cool and says to the man "You do that one more time and I'm going to cut your hand off!" With that the man raises his other "hand" which is a prosthetic hook and laughs "Please don't do that.....I've only got one hand left!" :haha: I do believe they left him a rather large tip. :2thumbs:

[Ih8grvty]

Ever make an awkward moment?
any new hire that came on the job we used to tell them to ask so and so about his sisters piano lessons if they wanted to hear a great story.
They always did, and so and so could be any of us, and we all knew the drill.
the new hire asked, the person blew up screaming threats and jumping around yelling about his sisters hands being mangled and her hands ruined in a fire or accident or whatever. the room emptied out so the new hire was left standing there alone with a pissed off mad man, great fun!
More than one person has cried. the mad man normally walks out slamming doors while screaming and the new guy stands there frozen in fear or pants to filled with poop to move and stammers on about he was told to ask and it wasnt his fault and hes sorry.
Mean while the rest of the crew was around back of the building listening trying not to laugh to loud and was soon joined by the person who was screaming to give details about looks on faces and what not.
mean? You bet your ass, Funny? YES, especially when you are not the new guy. I was the new guy once, I felt like shit, they left em standing there for 10 minutes before anyone clued me in that it was a joke. That whole time I was only thinking of kicking the guys ass that told me to ask Ed about his sisters piano lessons.

[Iceaxe]

mean? You bet your ass, Funny? YES, especially when you are not the new guy.

:2thumbs:

That's what men do best.... screw with each other and then laugh about it.

[sportsman]

See: http://www.bogley.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=115716#115716

:roflol:

[abirken]

See: http://www.bogley.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=115716#115716

:roflol:

HAHA.....real funny. :lol8:

[Ih8grvty]

See: http://www.bogley.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=115716#115716

:roflol:

HAHA.....real funny. :lol8:


Actually, it was pretty funny, but I think it would of been funnier had it been a link to the tattoo thread when we all found out it was his daughter in the picture!

This thread was in my head earlier this morning, I swap back and forth depending on when a commercial is on between KBER with bob and tom and X96 Radio from Hell, so when Im in the car this morning on Bob and Tom I heard a segment thats a regular feature now. Its a promotion for Keystone beer, the unsmooth moment...people writing in to share experiences like those in this thread.
First I thought the unsmooth was being related to that crap they call beer, I was disappointed to find out they sponsored it and it was "another unsmooth moment, UNLIKE keystone beer!"

[abirken]

See: http://www.bogley.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=115716#115716

:roflol:

HAHA.....real funny. :lol8:


Actually, it was pretty funny, but I think it would of been funnier had it been a link to the tattoo thread when we all found out it was his daughter in the picture!

This thread was in my head earlier this morning, I swap back and forth depending on when a commercial is on between KBER with bob and tom and X96 Radio from Hell, so when Im in the car this morning on Bob and Tom I heard a segment thats a regular feature now. Its a promotion for Keystone beer, the unsmooth moment...people writing in to share experiences like those in this thread.
First I thought the unsmooth was being related to that crap they call beer, I was disappointed to find out they sponsored it and it was "another unsmooth moment, UNLIKE keystone beer!"


Tell me about it! I am queen of foot in mouth. Obviously!!! NO MORE POSTING PICS OF FAMILY MEMBERS IF ALISON IS IN THE THREAD FOLKS!! HAHA!!!! :roflol:

[sportsman]

Actually, it was pretty funny, but I think it would of been funnier had it been a link to the tattoo thread when we all found out it was his daughter in the picture!

No, we all found out it was his daughter in the show yer mug thread

[Ih8grvty]

Actually, it was pretty funny, but I think it would of been funnier had it been a link to the tattoo thread when we all found out it was his daughter in the picture!

No, we all found out it was his daughter in the show yer mug thread

Eh. I normally have several tabs open, sometimes forget where I was or what I read when I close a few and try to carry it from one to another.
Thanks for the correction.

[sparker1]

I want to post photos of my family, but I'm afraid Alison will humiliate me.

[Ih8grvty]

I want to post photos of my family, but I'm afraid Alison will humiliate me.

I considered doing the same, however Alison does not scare me, The bride being pissed about me posting her picture on the net, that scares me very much!

[abirken]

I want to post photos of my family, but I'm afraid Alison will humiliate me.


Awwwwwwwwww that makes me feel sad. I wouldn't do that to ya. Instead I would just think your son is a daughter or something delusional. I get a little confused in my old age. HAHA!! :lol8:

[abirken]

I want to post photos of my family, but I'm afraid Alison will humiliate me.

I considered doing the same, however Alison does not scare me, The bride being pissed about me posting her picture on the net, that scares me very much!


I should scare you. :twisted:

[Ih8grvty]

I want to post photos of my family, but I'm afraid Alison will humiliate me.

I considered doing the same, however Alison does not scare me, The bride being pissed about me posting her picture on the net, that scares me very much!


I should scare you. :twisted:
I live with the bride, she knows how deep I sleep, and she has threatened to castrate me, tie me to the bed and feed me the missing parts.
That was just for farting in bed!
I also know she is capable of carrying out the threats. That is why I am such a good boy. I wont even go into details about what she said would happen to me if I cheated on her, far to horrid for public ears to ear, an i refuse to pay for all of your psychiatric care after Im sued for writing it down in a public forum.

[Gutpiler_Utahn]

Having served an LDS mission in Nevada, we had a random encounter with one John Wayne Bobbit. He was staying with his girlfriend in Fallon and we came by cause she's a member, though she doesn't attend. Anyways, I didn't recognize him but my partner did. He invited us in and we had a little chat. Before we left, John told us that his dog had just had puppies and would we like one. My buddy just said, "I don't know. Are they nuetered?" :roll: He didn't catch the joke (neither did I, not knowing who he was till later) and we went on our way.

[sportsman]

except he was not neutered...lol. I believe the correct term is he had a Penectomy. :roflol:

[double moo]

I was golfing early one Saturday morning with some friends. As we approached the T-box at the 15th a Marshall's cart came blasting up to the box. The man hurriedly jumped out noting that they were about to staart a tournament and that we would need to hurry through the remaining holes. He started grabbing signs and banners out of the back of the cart to set up. I kindly asked... "would you like a hand?" He turned revealing that his right arm had been amputated at the elbow... he winked and said he could handle it.

My friends told me I was the coldest bastard they knew for that one. I honestly didn't see the arm until after the statement...

[sparker1]

except he was not neutered...lol. I believe the correct term is he had a Penectomy. :roflol:

Silly, they don't remove the penis. They remove the testicles, so I'd call it "Cajone Be Gonee".

[sportsman]

i know on neutering they dont remove the penis. I was talking about what happened to john wayne bobbit