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ME!
31 years young today. :ahh:
Happy Birthday!!! :2thumbs:
Happy Birthday, you are still just a kid! :nod: :clap:
Scott Card
05-24-2007, 11:53 AM
31?? Life is just beginning. Congrats :2thumbs:
Sombeech
05-24-2007, 11:55 AM
YAY!!!
Well I am going to back to school for a graduate degree. I'm thinking about having a kid (though hubby isn't on board), so that's on hold and might as well go back to school. I think I'm having an "early life" crisis.
Scott Card
05-24-2007, 12:17 PM
Well I am going to back to school for a graduate degree. I'm thinking about having a kid (though hubby isn't on board), so that's on hold and might as well go back to school. I think I'm having an "early life" crisis.
Well, to totally butt in, smack your "hubby" upside the head. Kids are great. (I got 4) No amount of stuff, money, or job titles can make you feel as much love, happiness, satisfaction, pride...etc as do kids. Butting out now.......
Maybe you need some background first... Afer 30 years of never, ever wanting to have a kid (I wasn't born with the mother gene I concluded), I am reconsidering. If hubby is going to stay home, then I need to make enough money to support a family.
Early life crisis indeed!
DirkHammergate
05-24-2007, 12:27 PM
Well I am going to back to school for a graduate degree. I'm thinking about having a kid (though hubby isn't on board), so that's on hold and might as well go back to school. I think I'm having an "early life" crisis.
My Name is Dirk, Dirk HammerGate.
Well I am going to back to school for a graduate degree. I'm thinking about having a kid (though hubby isn't on board), so that's on hold and might as well go back to school. I think I'm having an "early life" crisis.
My Name is Dirk, Dirk HammerGate.
Hee. Is that an offer?
Maybe you need some background first... Afer 30 years of never, ever wanting to have a kid (I wasn't born with the mother gene), I know am thinking about what my future would be like. I don't see myself all alone honestly. I want people to visit me when I'm old. i want to have family to invite to my 60th birthday party. No, I'm not baby hungry, I'm not crazy about toddlers, I can't stand teenagers, I get faint at the idea of childbirth, I don't even want to be a stay at home mom, but I'm thinking more of the big picture (same with the graduate degree) - and it seems like something we will eventually do. If hubby is going to stay home, then I need to make enough money to support a family.
Early life crisis indeed!
Those are good reasons not to have kids. I am sorry to be an ass here :bootyshake: but to have a kid so you are getting an insurance for the future is not a good reason to have a kid in the first place.
To have a kid and just dump them off to a daycare after 4 months is a huge detriment to the kids. If you are not planning on raising your kid or being there for them to support them in every life experience, you are better off enjoying your own life. Don't have kids for wrong reasons, it just leads to neglect, unhealthy kids and divorce. Sadly, I have experienced that with a lot of my friends and family.
DirkHammergate
05-24-2007, 12:51 PM
Well I am going to back to school for a graduate degree. I'm thinking about having a kid (though hubby isn't on board), so that's on hold and might as well go back to school. I think I'm having an "early life" crisis.
My Name is Dirk, Dirk HammerGate.
Hee. Is that an offer?
Its whatever you want it to be.
One of us will plan to stay home. No one said "dropping off an infant at day care." But it makes sense for the person for the most supportive wage to support the family. Plus my H said he would love to stay home.
I have two years to think about it more (heck it took me this long to even have different thoughts!), because I'm not going to have a kid while going to school and working. I might as well shoot myself in the foot!
Everyone just says I'll change my mind one day. I guess I'm just waiting for that click, because there's nothing else I can do about that.
If you are not planning on raising your kid or being there for them to support them in every life experience
I'd certainly raise the kid just like parents do, and enjoy every new experience, ups and downs. You can do that with a job. I'm not going to put a kid on a shelf until I'm 60! You took my other post too literal.
sparker1
05-24-2007, 12:57 PM
I agree that's not a good reason to have kids, especially if hubby doesn't want them. Get your education, have your career, save enough money to pay for a nursing home and they will be friendly to you (maybe).
I don't want to bring a child into this world until we both want it. I didn't say I was going to do it now!
Look I realize you people don't know me and I interjected a few lingering thoughts in the middle of something, without any of you having the full background of what I am dealing with or where I am in my life. So I understand your comments, but you don't know the real me.
I don't want to bring a child into this world until we both want it. I didn't say I was going to do it now!
You could always do foster care. Big need for foster parents.
I don't want to bring a child into this world until we both want it. I didn't say I was going to do it now!
You could always do foster care. Big need for foster parents.
Yes, that has crossed my mind, but you need both spouses willing. If anyone out there thinks things throgoughly to death, it would be me. Maybe too much I've been told.
We started our courtship on the same page about this, I'm the one who is waffling now.
rockgremlin
05-24-2007, 01:48 PM
Well, without knowing you, I can highly recommend kids. They're great. Before we started having kids, I was NOT stoked about the idea. But after the first, I was hooked.
Good luck with whatever you do.
gonzo
05-24-2007, 01:50 PM
Well, without knowing you, I can highly recommend kids. They're great. Before we started having kids, I was NOT stoked about the idea. But after the first, I was hooked.
Good luck with whatever you do.
Remember, those kids look at cute and cuddly now, but they'll become full grown goats someday, and will require a lot of attention and care.
but you don't know the real me.
Shan, I didn't mean to jump you, sorry if I personally came off that strong. I probably don't know you personally like your mom or your hubby does. But the facts really do speak for themselves and a lot of people are having kids either too early in their lives, or for wrong reasons.
I agree with sparker, have fun with your own life, finish your education, let your hubby ripe up on the idea of kids and then it will happen. But both of you are going to be ready for it and you will enjoy it that much more.
That said, you are a grown woman with your own mind set, and you will do whatever your heart desires :)
Back to the subject.... HAPPY 31st!
This thread reminds me of the episode of rob and big I just watched last nught on MTV. Sidenote: Rob and Big is the only show I watch on MTV. Rob bought a mini horse(Pony) so his dog would have a buddy. after he bought it and got it home he said "Was buying minihorse a bad idea" hahaha. Then he built a little corral and barn for it in his backyard and everyone loved mini-horse.
The moral of the story is, EVERYONE LOVES PONIES!!!!!
Cirrus2000
05-24-2007, 02:28 PM
Happy birthday Shan!
More and more people are having their kids later - mid-thirties is no longer unusual.
I find it interesting that Dear Hubby is not totally on board yet, but might be willing to stay home! Sounds like he might just be considering waffling, too!
Whatever you do, I wish you the best. Parenthood is a fantastic experience. You think you can't feel any more love than you already do, but then, sure enough, bam, you can... Wow!
Thank you for the birthday wishes!
Hubby would be a "stay at home HUSBAND" if I let him. Yeah right, only if he turned into a domestic god and I made lots of money. Yes, I know we aren't your typical couple.
sparker1
05-24-2007, 04:43 PM
Didn't mean to come across as judgmental, just trying to offer my advice.
greyhair biker
05-24-2007, 08:23 PM
Happy Birthday! Kids at any age are fun. I have friends in their late 40's with a young boy about 15 years after the last one and they have had a learning curve all over again so your age, if you can be okay with it, is gonna be fine. Your husband's readiness is very important - dont discount that! Good Luck!
DirkHammergate
05-24-2007, 08:38 PM
I failed to say Happy Birthday... Happy Birthday Shan!
Throw down at Sultan's Tavern for me, I miss that place.
Wow, if I'd have known we could do shameless birthday self-promotions around here, I'd have put mine in a few days ago! :mrgreen:
Just teasin' -- happy b'day Shan!
BTW, I have a similar problem (by which I mean completely different, but remotely involving the same topic) -- want kids, but unfortunately seem to be cursed to never ever get married (and would not for one minute consider adopting while I'm still single)... hope things work out for you guys! Having wanted to start a family for some years now, I know how frustrating it can be when you want to but are unable to.
-Josh
DirkHammergate
05-24-2007, 09:48 PM
Well, without knowing you, I can highly recommend kids. They're great. Before we started having kids, I was NOT stoked about the idea. But after the first, I was hooked.
Good luck with whatever you do.
Remember, those kids look at cute and cuddly now, but they'll become full grown goats someday, and will require a lot of attention and care.
My kid refuses to have his hair cut (he's a gorgeous long hair blonde boy), favorite band is Green Day, favorite songs (a tie) are Boulevard of Broken Dreams and Longview, likes to watch Fear Factor while generally making unseemly commentary about how pitiful his life is, all at the grand old age of 7. Yes he's been thrown a couple serious life curves at his age, I've encouraged the idea that there are no dumb questions and most things need to be explored. I think I've got my hands full here and I could never imagine life without him. Its been a major effort thus far and will continue to be. Sometimes you get a kid and you just know its going to be the challenge of a lifetime.
accadacca
05-25-2007, 08:18 AM
Happy 31st Shan. . .we are the same age too! Dont forget that having babies is all about SEX!! :getiton: Thats the real important part right? :lol8:
I have two boys and they are a blast. A 4 year old and 1 year old. Our 1 year old just started walking last week and it is so fun to help them along and see them progress with everything. My 4 year old is learning so much at preschool and I really enjoy seeing his papers when I come home. Kids really are a lot of work tho and you have to have a lot of patience. But I wouldn't trade them for anything. :ahh:
I'm sure it will happen for us later rather than sooner. Everyone and their mother tells me my mind will change, that it's the best thing that could ever happen to a person. I am just coming to terms with the "idea" of having a child - having been so adamantly childfree for so long, this is huge (not ready for actually having a baby right now). I am just concerned with how late in the game it will all happen (after school, fertility issues, complications, etc). Yeah I know people have kids late, but I don't like that idea (for myself) plus we're not ready so I have a dilema on my hands.
Anyhoo, thanks for listening to me babble, peeps.
Happy belated Birthday to Wasquatch!
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