Things you can only say at Thanksgiving

[greyhair biker]

1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you' ll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before it's ready?



HAPPY THANKSGIVING! :)

[tanya]

~whew~ I'm HUNGRY! :eat: :naughty:

[fourtycal]

:oops: :roflol: :roflol: good stuff.

[DiscGo]

That's bad :mrgreen:

[Alex]

Hmmm... I'd have to use a few of those.....

At the dinner that it is :naughty:

[greyhair biker]

when we get the whole famdamily together there's no shame at all...these are general topics of conversation :ne_nau:

[tanya]

when we get the whole famdamily together there's no shame at all...these are general topics of conversation :ne_nau:


No way! You don't talk about that stuff with the family!!!!!! I only talk that way with men :haha:

[greyhair biker]

...well, we DO wait 'til the kiddies arent around...we do have a little tack...

[tanya]

To everyone comming to dinner: Just a note to let you know we are hoping to see you Thanksgiving Day. But....Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming, I've made a few small changes:
Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.

Once inside, our guests will note that the entry hall is not decorated with the swags of Indian corn and fall foliage I had planned to make. Instead, I've gotten the kids involved in the decorating by having them track in colorful autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was their idea.

The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china, or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork. Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last Christmas.
Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like decoration hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me it is a turkey.

We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while you wait. I'm sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hotline. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 a.m. upon discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds.

As accompaniment to the children's recital, I will play a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don't own a recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.

We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method. We've also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table. In a separate room. Next door.

Now, I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony. I stress "private" meaning: Do not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat.

I would like to take this opportunity to remind my young diners that "passing the rolls" is not a football play. Nor is it a request to bean your sister in the head with warm tasty bread.

Oh, and one reminder for the adults: For the duration of the meal, and especially while in the presence of young diners, we will refer to the giblet gravy by its lesser-known name: Cheese Sauce. If a young diner questions you regarding the origins or type of Cheese Sauce, plead ignorance.

Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will still have a choice; take it or leave it.

I hope you aren't too disappointed that Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. She probably won't come next year either.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

[savanna3313]

Things you can only say at Thanksgiving???? How about

HAPPY THANKSGIVING Y'ALL !!! :2thumbs:

I guess I've read too much about the Iceaxe School of wife training as I am about to disappear into the kitchen for the next 24 hrs to cook, serve and clean for 28 people. :eek2: nah....this is what we (my sisters and I) do every year. :five:

Have fun everybody!

[Iceaxe]

I guess I've read too much about the Iceaxe School of wife training as I am about to disappear into the kitchen for the next 24 hrs to cook, serve and clean for 28 people.

Sweet.... Anther satisfied customer :2thumbs:

Come back soon, I'm here every night (except those nights that I'm not here).

:nod:

[greyhair biker]

Have fun in the kitchen savanna...I just found out that both Jambaya and Lasagna are not considered thanksgiving apropriate... :ne_nau: ...so I am not going to be cooking this year...see Tanya, you am not the only one who is not getting Martha over this year

[tanya]

Have fun in the kitchen savanna...I just found out that both Jambaya and Lasagna are not considered thanksgiving apropriate... :ne_nau: ...so I am not going to be cooking this year...see Tanya, you am not the only one who is not getting Martha over this year


You poor thing.... put your feet up and turn on the football game. Relax and let those women wait on you. :nod:

[greyhair biker]

I'm alright with dat!! Come on over and wait on me hand and foot!! :rockit: :lol8:

[savanna3313]

Have fun in the kitchen savanna...I just found out that both Jambaya and Lasagna are not considered thanksgiving apropriate... :ne_nau:

Depends on where you're from. :nod: I have friends back in New Orleans who are Italian, and the mom always does a turkey and dressing, but the majority of the food on the table is Italian - especially lasagna, because her family won't have it any other way. I know others that to them, it's not Thanksgiving without gumbo in addition to the traditional fare. I think everyone has their own special tradition. I say, if you want it, make it. :2thumbs:

As far as the fun part, we actually do have fun. It doesn't hurt that we keep a few bottles of vino chilling to help with the drudgery part. :haha:

[savanna3313]

I guess I've read too much about the Iceaxe School of wife training as I am about to disappear into the kitchen for the next 24 hrs to cook, serve and clean for 28 people.

Sweet.... Anther satisfied customer :2thumbs:

Come back soon, I'm here every night (except those nights that I'm not here).

:nod:

I don't know about the satisfied part as far as I am concerned, :ne_nau: but the other people always leave happy. :2thumbs: Guess that means I've done my *job* right, eh? :five:

[tanya]

I'm alright with dat!! Come on over and wait on me hand and foot!! :rockit: :lol8:


Okay, but only if I get one of your special massages. :nod:

[accadacca]

Okay, but only if I get one of your special massages. :nod:
Special? O boy... :lol8:

[greyhair biker]

I am trained in the art of massage..JA?!... :feelgood: :bootyshake:

[greyhair biker]

:roflol: :lol8:

[tanya]

I am trained in the art of massage..JA?!... :feelgood: :bootyshake:


This is sounding better all the time :naughty: