Iceaxe
04-17-2006, 09:13 PM
Hesse says she never get's my jokes so I thought I'd help her out with my Redneck Dictionary. The Spelling Nazi might also wish to brush up :haha:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) HEIDI - (noun) - Greeting
2) HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?"
3) BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow". Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
4) JAWJUH - (noun) - the state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to
Lanner."
5) BAMMER - (noun) - the state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvments."
6) MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar dvision. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
7) THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
8) BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops and yeast. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a nutter bare."
9) IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native". Usage: "Them Bammer boys shore are ignert!"
10) RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "Ah thank ah left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
11) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "Ah shore hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
12) FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thang's gonna catch far."
13) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, ah hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
14) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, ah shore do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
15) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
16) FAT - (noun and verb) - A battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup yuh."
17) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
18) CHEER - (adverb) - In this place. Usage: "Jest set that bare rat cheer."
19) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddin't unnerstan a wurd he sed... mus be from some farn country."
20) DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."
21) ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen. Usage: "He cain't breath ... give 'im some are!"
22) BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that there bob war fence."
23) JEW HERE - (pronoun and verb) - Contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?
24) HAZE - (pronoun and verb) - A contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart? Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."
25) SEED - (verb) - Past tense of "to see". Usage: "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City."
26) VIEW - (verb and pronoun) - Contraction. Usage: "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City ... view?"
27) GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."
28) FIXIN' - (verb) - Preparing to. Usage: "Ah's just fixin' to do that now."
29) JEETJET (complete sentence) - Did you eat yet?
30) YONTEW (complete sentence) - Do you want to?
31) TWIRLY-TWEET (complete sentence) - Too early to eat.
:popcorn:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) HEIDI - (noun) - Greeting
2) HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?"
3) BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow". Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
4) JAWJUH - (noun) - the state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to
Lanner."
5) BAMMER - (noun) - the state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvments."
6) MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar dvision. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
7) THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
8) BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops and yeast. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a nutter bare."
9) IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native". Usage: "Them Bammer boys shore are ignert!"
10) RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "Ah thank ah left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
11) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "Ah shore hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
12) FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thang's gonna catch far."
13) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, ah hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
14) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, ah shore do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
15) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
16) FAT - (noun and verb) - A battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup yuh."
17) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
18) CHEER - (adverb) - In this place. Usage: "Jest set that bare rat cheer."
19) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddin't unnerstan a wurd he sed... mus be from some farn country."
20) DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."
21) ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen. Usage: "He cain't breath ... give 'im some are!"
22) BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that there bob war fence."
23) JEW HERE - (pronoun and verb) - Contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?
24) HAZE - (pronoun and verb) - A contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart? Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."
25) SEED - (verb) - Past tense of "to see". Usage: "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City."
26) VIEW - (verb and pronoun) - Contraction. Usage: "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City ... view?"
27) GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."
28) FIXIN' - (verb) - Preparing to. Usage: "Ah's just fixin' to do that now."
29) JEETJET (complete sentence) - Did you eat yet?
30) YONTEW (complete sentence) - Do you want to?
31) TWIRLY-TWEET (complete sentence) - Too early to eat.
:popcorn: