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goofball
02-01-2006, 09:36 PM
i have noticed recently that a lot of couples are older men, younger women, w/ a gap of 10-15+ years (man older). was talking to my roomie and her take was - younger guys (her age, mid 20's) suck. most of the guys she knows are living w/ parents and unemployed or slackers. i know research shows a gap of 5 years to be ideal for lifelong relationship success, and myself think even 10 years can still be stable lifelong, but that is the max. i think beyond that you have too great a gap in outlook, experience, priority, etc. and will eventually have difficulties. i guess i should be thankful, being 36. maybe i should cruise the universities wearing a shirt saying "36 & available" :getiton: . when i was married at 26 my wife was 36, so i am not averse. i just think for a serious relationship to have the very best chance at success, meaning one is going to be there to bury the other waaaaay down the road, then look at all the factors. and personally, younger women are going to want babies. i am content there. no more babies please. i love my son more than anything, but no more.

nitmik
02-02-2006, 08:49 AM
My girlfriend who I love more than everything was married to a guy who was 16 years older than she was, it only lasted a year. The age difference was just too much.

Now my sister also dated a guy for about two years and he was 15 years older and that turned out to be way too much. He just could not keep up with her.

So I don't think it's a good idea. I can see the attraction for women to older men though. There are so many losers out there who amount to nothing and then they see an older man who has a good job, nice house, list just goes on.

canyonphile
02-02-2006, 02:18 PM
I'd have to agree here. I've dated a couple of men that were much older than me, but the relationships never were going to go anywhere. Once you get to 10+ years age difference, there starts to become a "generation gap" of sorts, for the reasons Goofball mentions.

Plus, like Nitmik's sister, I found they simply couldn't keep up with me and they didn't have the same interests or sense of humor. Those are the small things - glue - that help maintain a sense of intimacy in a relationship over the long haul. And, they were simply at a different place in their lives than I was due to the "generation gap" thing.

An interesting thing I've found when I was doing the yahoo personals last year is that men typically aren't interested in women that are older than they are - most want someone maybe up to their age or a few years below. So, I'm 39 and some 36 y.o. isn't interested in me because I'm 3 years older? Hell, we would have been in high school together!

Admittedly, I'm not terribly interested in men younger than mid 30's. Older men (my boyfriend is 46 - probably the upper age limit for me) are usually more emotionally mature and stable and have gotten all the game playing and other baggage out of their systems. Most of them either have kids and they are hopefully old enough to be out of the picture, living with the ex, or they know they don't want kids, which is even better.

My roommate (38) says that most of the women in our area are single moms looking for a meal ticket and daddy. Like me, he doesn't have any interest in having kids or being a stepparent, so that leaves serious slim pickins'.

For me, it is still a challenge to find a guy that can keep up with me, regardless of his age. I am really into backpacking, hiking and trail running and I intend to keep doing it until my body falls apart :cripple: , and most men 10+ years older than me are more interested in sitting around in front of the TV while their guts expand. I was lucky to find Wayne - he was already an avid hiker and backpacker and now that I've worked my charms on him, he's turned onto trail running.

SJ

Iceaxe
02-02-2006, 03:51 PM
I'm 9 years older then my hot young stripper wife.... and I'm loving every minute of it :banana:

DirkHammergate
02-02-2006, 03:53 PM
I'm 9 years older then my hot young stripper wife.... and I'm loving every minute of it :banana:

Where does she work? I probably know her.

LJ
02-02-2006, 04:23 PM
When I was 25 or so I dated a guy who was 21 and I swore I would never date another younger man. He drove me nuts. A year later I dated a guy 12 years old and same thing - drove me buts. Couldn't find much in common with either so decided to stick to guys my own age. Now that I am in my late 30's I've opened it up a bit to 5 years either way and it seems to work out well. Maybe as I get older a larger age gap won't seem as extreme but then I'll be way old and any guy in his 50's would never be able to keep up! Guess I'll have to look for the younger guys!

btw - hitting 40 is freaking me out. Is it that bad? It just sounds bad, right. 40 is the new 30?

savanna3313
02-02-2006, 07:44 PM
When I was 25 or so I dated a guy who was 21 and I swore I would never date another younger man. He drove me nuts. A year later I dated a guy 12 years old and same thing - drove me buts. Couldn't find much in common with either so decided to stick to guys my own age. Now that I am in my late 30's I've opened it up a bit to 5 years either way and it seems to work out well. Maybe as I get older a larger age gap won't seem as extreme but then I'll be way old and any guy in his 50's would never be able to keep up! Guess I'll have to look for the younger guys!

btw - hitting 40 is freaking me out. Is it that bad? It just sounds bad, right. 40 is the new 30?

Yes - that is correct. :2thumbs: 40 is the new 30......50 is the new 40 etc....etc.......

My ex husband was almost 13 yrs older than me when we got married (I was 19 and naive and dumb dumb dumb) :nod: I've decided that if I should ever remarry, the next one will be younger. That way he can bury me instead of the other way around. :five:

canyonphile
02-02-2006, 08:11 PM
won't seem as extreme but then I'll be way old and any guy in his 50's would never be able to keep up! Guess I'll have to look for the younger guys!
I dunno....here's a picture of the guy I did my Thanksgiving backpacking trip with - Ed. He's 50 - he doesn't look it, and heaven knows he doesn't act it (e.g. - the rabbit ears). He had no problem keeping up with me on this trip (photo taken at Hermit rapids the Saturday of TG weekend). He can't find any women his own age that can keep up with him! He also has just about the best body I have ever seen on a man - you can't see that in this pic....trust me on this :naughty: He ages very well.



btw - hitting 40 is freaking me out. Is it that bad? It just sounds bad, right. 40 is the new 30?
I turn 40 in June, and I am actually not bothered by it. I will be more bothered when my body really starts going to shit, which, thankfully, it hasn't yet.

When do you turn 40, LJ? I may actually be in Zion on or near my birthday (the bf and I are trying to figure out our summer travel plans), so we may end up ringing in my passing into the 5th decade of my life at one of the local establishments in Springdale.
:cheers:

SJ

Udink
02-02-2006, 08:29 PM
Yes - that is correct. :2thumbs: 40 is the new 30......50 is the new 40 etc....etc.......
Excellent! When I turn 30 this year, I'll party like it's the new 21! :naughty:

canyonphile
02-02-2006, 08:34 PM
Excellent! When I turn 30 this year, I'll party like it's the new 21! :naughty:
Awww....you're just a baby! :haha:

SJ

Sombeech
02-02-2006, 08:34 PM
When I turn 30 this year, I'll party like it's the new 21! :naughty:

When I turn 30 in two weeks, I'm making sure I'm on a bike. I kinda scheduled our St George bike trip over my birthday on purpose, :haha: but it was also the only weekend that would work.

I just want to bring in my next decade with a youthful outdoors trip.

Udink
02-02-2006, 09:27 PM
When I turn 30 in two weeks, I'm making sure I'm on a bike. I kinda scheduled our St George bike trip over my birthday on purpose, :haha: but it was also the only weekend that would work.

I just want to bring in my next decade with a youthful outdoors trip.
I'll probably do something similar. Thinkin' about trying to find 30 geocaches on my 30th, and on the 30th of August, no less. I'll save the partying for the weekend. :smile:

donny h
02-02-2006, 10:00 PM
A year later I dated a guy 12 years old and same thing - drove me buts.

You're some sort of pervert.

:roflol:

BrainDamage
02-02-2006, 11:55 PM
I didn't know how old every one around here is, I feel like just some young punk kid at 23, wait a minute,, I am.

tatwood
02-03-2006, 05:53 AM
Hey I'm with you G.G., I'm only 24. For you older guys, I guess you're only as old as you think you are.

DirkHammergate
02-03-2006, 06:21 AM
A year later I dated a guy 12 years old and same thing - drove me buts.

You're some sort of pervert.

:roflol:

I think I'll give her the benefit of the doubt by saying she dated a guy 12 years older. Funny though.

LJ
02-03-2006, 07:32 AM
A year later I dated a guy 12 years old and same thing - drove me buts.

You're some sort of pervert.

:roflol:

I think I'll give her the benefit of the doubt by saying she dated a guy 12 years older. Funny though.

Yeah that's what I meant "OLDER"> jeesh I need to quit drinking when I post on this board.

donny h
02-03-2006, 10:55 AM
Yeah that's what I meant "OLDER"> jeesh I need to quit drinking when I post on this board.

Just yanking your chain, classic typo though.

Quit drinking? Sounds pretty drastic.

LJ
02-03-2006, 10:59 AM
Yeah that's what I meant "OLDER"> jeesh I need to quit drinking when I post on this board.

Just yanking your chain, classic typo though.

Quit drinking? Sounds pretty drastic.

Desperate times take desperate measures! Actually wasn't drinking just can't type and hate proofreading. I like the "drove me buts" part too.

Going to try your shrimp recipe tonight while watching "Grizzly Man". Seafood sounds really good right now.

Iceaxe
02-03-2006, 11:08 AM
drove me buts.

It was the Freudian slip that had me laughing.....

Newlywed Host: "Where is the strangest place you have ever made whoopie?"

Female Contestant: "Bob, That would be in the butt."

Classic bloopers clip...

:popcorn:

Sombeech
02-03-2006, 11:31 AM
Newlywed Host: "Where is the strangest place you have ever made whoopie?"

Female Contestant: "Bob, That would be in the butt."

Seen that one.

Windwalker
02-05-2006, 01:12 PM
Me and the wife :feelgood: had a serious talk about this type of thing. I came close to biting the dust, had a couple stints put in my heart two months ago and I'm back to planning hikes in the San Rafael.. But we talked about what we'd do if we lost the other. Get remarried?? Yes, but not rushing into it. Younger or older?? She said definatly not younger, she raised one adolesent (me) already and didn't want to do it again. At fifty-five I'd put my ideal dates age at ten years younger or older. It would all depend on their likes matching up with mine. Seems the older you get the less age means, but not to an extream, I'm no longer wired for 1-20.

If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no life at all !! :bootyshake:

cachehiker
02-06-2006, 10:49 AM
I've had no luck finding anybody, young or old, that can keep up. This includes all those women who are 15 years younger than I am.

If they can road bike, they can't carry a pack. If they can mountain bike, they won't hike. Don't even get me started on the winter activities. I realize that at some point, all the younger women will start to pass me by like I'm standing still, but when?

Except for the mindlessness of selected early twenty-somethings, I don't worry about age, only interests and a certain "generic" compatibility. Although I must admit, the younger the woman, the less likely it is they're going to be there. It actually seems more likely for someone a few years older than I am.

:ne_nau:

Shan
02-06-2006, 10:55 AM
If they can road bike, they can't carry a pack. If they can mountain bike, they won't hike. Don't even get me started on the winter activities. I realize that at some point, all the younger women will start to pass me by like I'm standing still, but when?

We're not THAT rare of a breed! Though all the woman I know that are very active are already married. But we were all single at some point.

LJ
02-06-2006, 11:31 AM
If they can road bike, they can't carry a pack. If they can mountain bike, they won't hike. Don't even get me started on the winter activities. I realize that at some point, all the younger women will start to pass me by like I'm standing still, but when?

I have the same problem with the guys around here. Everyone is so stinkin specialized these days. They spend all their time and money on one activity and won't even give anything else a good try. I have separate friends for biking, hiking, canyons, boating, tennis, downhill skiing, and trust me no one in the world cross country skis or snow shoes any more. I know because I ask everyone I see - even strangers on the street and no luck. Where are the cross trainers of any age these days? :ne_nau:

dbessee
02-07-2006, 02:25 PM
I have the same problem with the guys around here. Everyone is so stinkin specialized these days. They spend all their time and money on one activity and won't even give anything else a good try. I have separate friends for biking, hiking, canyons, boating, tennis, downhill skiing, and trust me no one in the world cross country skis or snow shoes any more. I know because I ask everyone I see - even strangers on the street and no luck. Where are the cross trainers of any age these days? :ne_nau:

Lot's of folks are specialized but there are people who do a variety of activities. Look at Jumar, or Scott Patterson, they both have TR's up with all kinds of activities and they're not alone. The problem I face in that respect is gear $$$, esspecially since I buy for both my son and I, his mom isn't interested in climbing/hiking/snow so I get to drop for doubles on most gear :help:

I love getting into new outdoor areas but I'm usually slowed a bit by the budget, i.e. $600 in av beacons for Xmas + $150 because Jordan had outgrown his pack... We tried XC ski and both loved it but it'll be next winter before I can afford to buy us both gear to trade up from the current snowshoes and he's growin' like a weed the whole time :smile:

Keep lookin', you'll find someone who likes alot of the same stuff you do and where you differ you can either agree to differ or get into new stuff yourself.

cachehiker
02-07-2006, 03:42 PM
I have the same problem with the guys around here. Everyone is so stinkin specialized these days... no one in the world cross country skis or snow shoes any more. I know because I ask everyone I see - even strangers on the street and no luck. Where are the cross trainers of any age these days?

I was supposed to be in St. George with a mountain bike, road bike, and hiking boots last weekend. Unfortunately, the only person who didn't bail out just 24 hours in advance wanted to shorten up the trip to only two nights. I need more than one long road ride to justify a 12 hour drive.

Next trip, the Skinny Tire Festival in Moab. Arrive with road bike plus a mountain bike or what little climbing gear I own on Thursday and leave when I'm tired of being there or out of money, whichever comes first. Still looking for someone to take the other half of the room too.

To be honest, I don't do much snowshoeing anymore myself. Twice this year as opposed to a dozen times on xc skis. There used to be a dozen trails here steep enough to force me back on to snowshoes. The list is now down to only a few.

Iceaxe
02-07-2006, 05:13 PM
But we talked about what we'd do if we lost the other. Get remarried?? Yes, but not rushing into it.

Hell, I told my wife that if she dies before me I'm bringing a date to the funeral :roflol:

LJ
02-07-2006, 07:05 PM
I was supposed to be in St. George with a mountain bike, road bike, and hiking boots last weekend. Unfortunately, the only person who didn't bail out just 24 hours in advance wanted to shorten up the trip to only two nights.

Isn't that the way it always goes! I had same thing happen two weekends ago. Everyone is so sickly and broke this year.




I need more than one long road ride to justify a 12 hour drive.



Yeah - but I'm here!

greyhair biker
02-11-2006, 04:16 PM
You are as young as you feel it's just at 40 things take an extra day to heal :cripple: It seems that the older I get the more extreme(nuts) the 'training ' can be. A quote from one of my favorite movies(Highlander) 'It's better to burn out than to fade away'...I know, I know...Def Leppard sang it first but it can get away with it - I'm an old guy. :rockon:

greyhair biker
02-11-2006, 04:20 PM
and yes...there are still a few of us(them) around that are available...somewhere. I work with LOTS of guys underground that make a TON of $$$$ - available and well off - if you don't mind a bunch of rough miners

cachehiker
02-13-2006, 10:49 AM
Yeah - but I'm here!

I'll have to PM you the next time it looks like I'm heading down.

Having the last trip fall through has left me with an extra weekend's worth of vacation so I'm still holding out hope of hiking The Narrows, backpacking Under The Rim, and/or riding Gooseberry this summer. There's also some beginning canyoneering to do in Capitol Reef. If the Alaskan Cruise goes the way it's looking right now, I might have as many as three or four weekend's worth.

The Cactus Hugger Century has been rain/snowed out two years running. This year I'm watching the weather and registering at the last minute if things look good.

Bri

greyhair biker
02-13-2006, 11:16 AM
We are allowed to buy vacation so I kind of over do it + reg vacation & days off so hopefully lots of riding time. I'd like to try my hand at canyoneering...Fourtycal has me hooked & we haven't been able to go or really plan anything yet - we'll have time to plan this week between rides so we'll see.

LJ
02-13-2006, 04:29 PM
Yeah - but I'm here!

I'll have to PM you the next time it looks like I'm heading down.

Having the last trip fall through has left me with an extra weekend's worth of vacation so I'm still holding out hope of hiking The Narrows, backpacking Under The Rim, and/or riding Gooseberry this summer. There's also some beginning canyoneering to do in Capitol Reef. If the Alaskan Cruise goes the way it's looking right now, I might have as many as three or four weekend's worth.

The Cactus Hugger Century has been rain/snowed out two years running. This year I'm watching the weather and registering at the last minute if things look good.

Bri


Cool! All sorts of great weekend stuff to do. And I hate to admit this to the whole uutah world but I have never hiked the entire Narrows. Always bad luck on the weather or something when I plan to do it so maybe You don't want to involve me with that plan if you don't want to be jinxed.

Lynn

Wasatch Rebel
02-14-2006, 06:27 PM
I heard a rule of thumb for men (which when limits are exceeded folks look at you funny) is that the youngest woman you can date is half your age plus seven years. Let's see, if I was single that would make a 30 year old woman the youngest for me. I'm not though, and my beautiful wife is definitely the best, especially on this Valentines Day, although our car is in the shop, we're stuck at home, and she's watching men's figure skating. No, I'm not watching it with her!!!

Shane

Wasatch Rebel
02-14-2006, 06:40 PM
By the way, I've tried most all outdoor activities that I've been able to afford. I just told my wife last night I'd like to try snowboarding after watching the half pipe in the Olympics. Then again, I have very bad knees, so I might not make the incredible stunts look very good. I haven't really got into biking, but that's because of lack of time, and money. Although I when I was a teenager, back in the 70s, on several ocassions I rode my ten-speed up Big Cottonwood Canyon, and rode back down without a helmet. Crazy! I've climbed, ropeless, in the Storm Mountain area, again, back in the 70s. I'd like to learn rock climbing, mountain biking, kayaking someday--but then again, I have no time on my hands, although someday I'll have the money. Then of course, there's my other hobby--guitars. As far as outdoor activities though, I think of age as no barrier and intend to be hiking and backpacking until they put me in the ground.