FAMILY TIES

[accadacca]

Ron McBride, clearly upset about the blue dynasty to the south getting all the national acclaim, goes to a BYU practice and asks LaVell Edwards, ``Coach, how is it that year after year after year you manage to have such great football teams? What's your secret?''

LaVell responds by calling Kevin Feterik over. ``Kevin,'' LaVell asks, ``who's your father's brother's nephew?'' Feterik answers, ``Why, coach, that's easy. It's me.''

LaVell turns to McBride and says, ``That's the secret, Ron. A smart quarterback. You've got to have a smart quarterback.'' Thinking he's finally got all the tools he needs, McBride returns to the Ute work-out. He promptly calls over Jonathan Crosswhite.

"Crosswhite! Who's your father's brother's nephew?''

Crosswhite looks perplexed, thinks a minute and says, ``Coach, can I get back to you after practice on that one?'' McBride (disgusted) says, ``OK.''

During practice, Crosswhite calls over Chris Fuamatu-Ma'afala.

"Chris, coach just asked me the weirdest question. Who's your father's brother's nephew?'' Says Fuamatu-Ma'afala: ``Duh! That's easy. It's me!''

After practice, Crosswhite catches up with McBride: ``Coach, I think I've got it. My father's brother's nephew is Chris Fuamatu-Ma'afala.''

McBride (angry): ``No, No, NO! You idiot!! It's Kevin Feterik!!!''